Photo by Douglas, celebrating my latest (62nd) birthday with him, Mithun, and Nithish
Evil our times.
It’s all our jail. [vision accompanying first two lines of one of the questions on the Together We Served Service Reflections interview I just re-posted on their site, as if this was an edit for the beginning of the answer, which one I don’t remember]
I said it right on Amazon.
He’d like to name you a place
where we could find ourselves.
It’s growin’ to war.
Delete that.
Don’t stick your fingers into your reflections.
They’re good.
They’re history,
of your own personal.
You just need them read.
Well let’s see how big men are,
how soft
on the board counts.
Life is a divine work until it’s finished.
It’s great in jars.
How much pepper spray?
We get lost here.
It’s not a divine moment
in everybody’s underwear.
And you said it:
we have to hate sex.
No, one just talkin’ while we stab each other with it,
or a hole grabs us and leaves.
You take care of man.
We beat each other with it,
but that’s not my lifelong toy.
I play with myself because of it—
some child grabbed his gun.
Now, if we’re just a folded joy,
we can get along better in the streets.
We can cash in on tomorrow.
We need to get rid of sex—
I think the mature person said this
about who they have become.
Do we get rid of it?
It’s just a football field.
We learn to outgrow it.
We put it down.
We do not condemn it.
It’s a mature decision we make.
We expect no one to follow us but us.
Well I think I’ve sowed my wild oats.
No one’s ever blocked sex from me.
I’ve had partners all my life.
I went from childhood memories
about our lust room
we had fun in
to a teenager doin’ it right.
I was a young adult party sex.
No one stopped me.
I never got punished for it.
I’m clear and easy on sex.
It’s not a hole in the ground.
It laughs in the breeze,
and it really feels good, you know?
We take it off now.
What am I, 30?
You’re not a kid anymore.
You’re at that mature age where life makes sense.
You don’t go screamin’ down the street if you cut your finger.
You’re not a nightclub in the kitchen anymore.
You’re free
from have to be with your buddies.
You’re doin’ sadhana.
It’s become the aim of life
God realization.
This is not boring, religious, clap trap.
You get long lasting ecstasies
in your body at times.
You’re inner life has opened to the Infinite.
You see visions
that represent things
that you need to grow.
The inner voice has taking you by the hand
and introduced you to life
where God leads it.
It’s an offer I gave you a wall but nobody’s comin’.
Your mind can stay silent sometimes,
and you love the world.
It bothers you less and less,
other people’s behavior.
Even your mistakes
are no cause for alarm.
Patience is painting your room,
and kindness drapes your social interaction.
You’re a strong person
that knows how to look at things.
You’re gettin’ trapped by sex now.
It’s spills you.
It does not hold your hand.
It’s a life force squeeze.
You’re tired of its pursuit.
How did we come here?
From all walks of life.
It’s an everybody does,
when they get old enough
to only pursue God.
This changes society.
Nay, this reinvents society.
We are bigger than machines.
We know how to handle ourselves even in love.
We’ve grown oceans bigger
than anything we look at.
The world is ready to evolve.
We can do this.
We can be free from sex,
if we know when the time has come to do so.
No premature ejaculation.
It has to be the right time.
It has to be real.
It has to be what we’re doin’ in life
to find God,
and you will hear it in your soul to give it up now.
You are the soul of society.
They’re uneducated,
anybody who denies this.
They don’t know what’s goin’ on.
They just want to stay kid.
How do we handle this with them?
With patience and honesty.
We don’t force them to comply.
World force does that,
as the soul force it truly is.
We’ve got such a long way to go
to reach our evolutionary path
mountaintop,
millennia,
and I’ve just given you a key ingredient
to get that done.
It’s wonderful you know?
free from sex.
You’re unhampered by life
in its sticky points.
You stand tall, proud, and free,
and you know the other half
and don’t have to mate with it anymore.
You are as much male as you are female
in the essence of yourself,
as you meet the world.
The gender of the body leads you,
but it doesn’t rule.
You’ve achieved balance in time.
This is cool.
You’re Hercules
and Diana.
You are fit do some dangerous big knife
or stay at home
and take care of the kids.
Now can I counsel you further?
Oh I’m around,
even in narrow we meet.
Come to my other business runners,
how the tackle game
plays with children,
or how dogs become human,
or how enlightenment speaks.
Join me will you,
on some other poem
battles down life
to a node.
They got a skinny little net,
the literary art house,
so you won’t find me there.
I’m on blogs and such
in my room
right here in front of humanity.
Let’s see this through:
no sex
when we get old enough to drop it.
Asses the future risk of poetry.
It will just sink.
It won’t even cut corners.
It will just sit there unread.
It’s just a bunch of words in a blender.
I don’t know what he’s talking about.
And now we’re in our teens.
It’s not innocent here.
They do it
despite we want them to stop.
It unbalances them.
Makes them crow.
It changes their minds.
It gives them a safe outlet
for their demands.
Now we’d need to stop pregnancy and disease,
not have them harm one another,
make it slightly difficult to get to
but not prevented or prohibited.
What have I said?
Teen sex.
We’d account for this
by all the kid sex they had,
where they’d learned to take turns
and be nice to one another,
before their genitals became armed.
Now I’m a roll in a hat.
End sexual hangups please.
In all this here we do that,
got it figured,
got it right.
Now you’ll blast me
with everything you can throw at me.
Now hear me out.
I’m in wisdom’s barn,
but I’m not settin’ down rules.
I’m understandin’ the animal we are
and seeing how we get beyond it.
You got it all wrong.
It’s not hide the genitals.
Let them play,
where appropriate does its measure
in the right age group,
where we are not keen on sex;
we just wanna feel down there
and have fun
with ourself or with friends.
We grow out of it you know.
You’ve seen it in this poem.
Has it terrified you?
Has it done anything at all but look at you?
Can we get over it.
Can we just make sex the plaything it was
before don’t do that got ahold of it
and put it down
when we’ve gotten bigger than ourselves?
Now test me please.
See how this works in public.
Under the right conditions
we are healthy human beings.
Some people are still reading this.
Some people have thrown it away.
Are you just afraid it’s a masturbate cushion?
If we stop right now
we’re at the end of the poem.
A risk teenager said.
Is it better to freeze?
We’re gonna try
hoppin’ a poem on Earth’s wheels.
The SF engineered
a better to see me with
well together we served.
Let’s see.
A military airlift,
hands brought me the breeze.
That’s the shot fired.
The bulwark of the law
has to undergo a transformation
in order to fit this into place.
Can you imagine the changes involved?
They’re bigger than sin.
They make us right
in our social relations
where we see attraction laid eyes
and mounted genitals and hands.
It changes us at the core
of our manipulable social relations.
We’re there
stuck at a roadblock,
women screamin’.
men peein’,
and everybody mad at one another.
Can you see that?
It’s right there in front of you
on communication.com,
on the nightly news.
It grabs the literary page
and hits up movie after movie
and theater television.
It’s a regular guest
on sope operas.
It’s everywhere we look
anywhere we got eyes
on the society of us.
it’s too tiring to see,
and we still keep it up.
Can we take it down,
when we get back to our old self
that has other gauges for life than sexual sin?
Pretty much all about Eve
is a sexual trauma notebook.
i don’t think this is smart land,
and here we go again another scandal in the news
this present poet creates.
I could’ve just stayed offline,
not bothered with dense matter,
and do my thing.
Am I stupid?
I’m not dumb.
Transparency
is the easiest way
to finish the world
a miracle on earth
enlighten us.
Will AI better or ruin us? Will it take over or replace us? We go to things unmistakenly horrible. At bottom we blame ourselves. What’s the highest good have to do with it? That’s the poem. It will challenge your sense of good. It will blow the world out from under your feet, and I’m just talking read it. Who owns the official compound? The Helicopters. I’m a first provider.
Drop climate change off at the house,
the hypocrisy of everyday people,
the climate of everyday people,
the Rottweiler of everyday people,
their business.
Climate change,
now showing at your house.
We gotta get out of this.
It’s a consumer nightmare.
How much simpler our lives could be if we tried.
That Rottweiler is resistant to change.
Lovely creature though.
Some do it.
You’d be pleased to announce
I’m not preaching at you.
I’m preaching at me.
Whatta we do with this?
Turn off lights and stoves and only sparingly wash clothes.
Whatta we do with the refrigerator?
Now that’s a tough one.
We could do a lot better.
We buy enough crap to begin with.
My God the waste in my house.
It could start the day.
My God the crap in my house.
The allergies make the air conditioning livable
in such a warm climate,
but it could be turned off to save noon.
I’m not sayin’ live without it,
but let’s treat it like the luxury it is.
We needit sometimes.
Oh Lord don’t take my A/C away. [heard sung to tune of “You Are My Sunshine”]
I think that’s got the paper.
Alright fine,
but can it join us in the room?
What did the refrigerator say?
It didn’t it’s just got military handles.
You mean like hot water?
Do we really need it right now?
All the amenities,
they’re starin’ us in the face.
Can I write another poem?
Can you spare me the mayonnaise?
I don’t wanna write this poem.
It’s not my baked bread.
Living conditions suck
without electricity,
but I think we all could get better at using it.
It’s the semblance of noon,
all along town.
Can you see it?
Brush with health
the climate enforcer.
We get sick doin’ it.
No health reasons
you neglect.
Don’t make yourself ill.
The climate
can stand a little bit of you in it.
We’re just armed for change.
We don’t charge each other’s property
with you must do this or else.
Can you understand the reason behind that?
You blister change
with the wrong attitude,
and it won’t work.
unless otherwise noted, all photos by the author
So where do we go for change?
In our relations with one another.
That’s the ballpark/battleground. [words spoken simultaneously]
We have to learn to live with each other
without spite.
Can you find a person that knows this
on the environmental frontlines?
They’re too busy charging other people
with spite.
This doesn’t work.
It just blows up in your face.
I’m tellin’ the Greta Thunbergs that.
A climate change activist,
we need better human beings.
Can you just open your eyes and look?
What does your patrol car grant us?
More ill will.
Can we get around this?
How do you show people they’re wrong without hating them for it?
That’s the climate needs better.
We’re just stubborn mules
when it comes to seein’ that.
Just ask the press.
Okay animals get busy,
force this on people.
I’m givin’ you the smell of the thing.
I don’t think you care about me.
You have a place card.
This makes your life feel better.
You’re an active ingredient.
You’re an activist for change.
We push people.
We don’t know how to make them see.
Maybe you’re lookin’ at the wrong equipment.
We need a change in heart.
Can you care about people,
or are we all just numbers trashin’ the planet?
Where do we see this?
In our very hands.
Protest movements awake!
We have to get better at bein’ people.
We have to be better human beings.
Where do we go for that?
In the living room.
It’s anybody you talk to,
have dealings with.
You make them feel special like you care.
Now that’s the whale in the room.
Can you really care?
I don’t think so,
not without some life assignment,
where you learn to put love first,
so much so love hurts.
These are vulnerable feelings,
and you put every man, woman, and child there.
Can you find them?
They’re your next door neighbor.
Now let’s go to police cops in the room. You can’t force anybody to do anything and get the safety you want. You just step on them, and they resent you for it. Vegans everyone? And you’ve stepped on the world. This is not everybody’s diet. It’s a religion to some people. It’s got hoofs on it. Mainstream media’s pushin’ it. This does not carry us to safety. We’re the animal in the room. Stop eating meat’s a practice, no animal products at all an intolerance. It’s too extreme for our world venture. You would have to know country home, in an impoverished district, to understand the impropriety of veganism, and I didn’t just say rare places on earth. So many of us live in poverty. I’m gonna eat, and I don’t need vegans robbin’ my plate. You’re not sustainable. Good afternoon.
Incredible, time goes through, I went to that place: non-veg is not the meat anymore. It’s a vegetarian diet we all live on. We just get out our laser guns and put fish on the menu. It’s a laboratory the actual change ahead is calling. Mystical experience will dynamic each other. It’s just one of those things. Animals are friends and we don’t eat friends. That group identity, it’s gonna take place in our living room, and the camel down the street is a part of it. No one gets left out, but a camel gets so close to our notion of self, we ride them that’s their comfort zone, and there’s your horse. What are you talking about? The substance of our change. Art is listened to whatever we ride, and make it better.
Am I making any sense? We’re not legalistic about anything. We’re flexible to survive. Unbelievable the amount of sacrifice our survival depends on. We all have to do it. It doesn’t come about on its own. We’re military historians. Can I show you a battle with yourself all won? This rules the day: self-sacrifice on the frontlines. Choke climate change. Don’t make him the monster. We reach inside and pull out our humanity, and our skills at that does the rest.
Now let’s go back to that army book you’re readin’, the news media, that big journalistic thug. Do we really have to crap in our beds? Are you sure you want us to be mean to each other? Do you have to hate the climate denier? Cows, there’s more responsible than just not wanting them to fart. On fire farming methods. Practicing that, making animals safe and comfortable. Is it catch those devils, sick really, who make milk and eggs an animal’s holocaust? We’re not into punish people. Look at them. Stop buying their products. Shoulder with them their responsibility. And we can get them to see reason.
Are you an older brother?
I’m a
way station man.
I’m hearin’
the bagpipes sing.
Remind yah
survival’s an organized emergency we all do together.
That dog got me order?
Beautifully.
Love made him do it.
We’re in our protocol
if a person could handle on his deep emotions.
He’s a vehicle for change.
The balls that we make here are women’s kinds of things.
They’re empathically arranged.
He sees in court
as not ethically arranged.
We’re gonna sleep on it,
see what we outta do.
I woke up and went over it
as a dream.
Your approach is sound sir.
I was dealin’ with late ideas.
The ability to help one another,
it’s in every classroom.
My God it’s like
Auroville pops off its angel.
I should have living with the fears.
There’s no hurry for development.
It’s in the air we have to do this now.
Helping’s free,
I’d give him to help.
We have time bro.
Your doomsday
has an opinion across the street.
We can avoid a piece of chicken.
We can avoid fish.
A lot do it and they’re vegetarian.
Good excellent I support that cause.
He just stepped out onto the floor,
one help,
one happen.
It’s too early
to damage every restaurant now.
There’s a lot we can do to get started.
It’s not the end of the world yet.
No hot water,
it starts off inflexible.
Our attitudes to change
kill it.
Come to where the prize is:
may I help you?
Don’t sit there and demand people change.
It’s got our stuff on it,
and you go in a museum to destroy a work of art
because you’ve got the proof
you got a lot about you needs changed.
It’s character armor not climate change
we need to see before
we can get at that climate change.
Can you hear me Ms Greta Thunberg?
Can you accomplish this?
We need to see each other first.
Gun naked balance
own big time.
We’re tryin’ to get that settled in first:
we’re all responsible.
It takes better human beings
to tackle climate change.
The problem’s combining the too essential with the ordinary.
Can you see that?
A miracle where he stood.
This is about enlightenment our next trip.
You don’t know it’s there.
It’s a Buddhist word that means many things.
The enlightened state of being
is my crossover with it.
It’s deep and it’s heavy.
You are not yourself anymore.
You’re a non-egoed consciousness
seein’ the world.
It’s oneness’ state of being,
nonduality’s headquarters.
There’s no separation between you and an object
save you’re there.
You can stand on your own two feet.
It’s not just a mesh of everything.
No one can describe this state.
Normal regular consciousness
is the external at large.
You can’t grasp realization by the horns.
It’s too realization deep.
You have no boundaries
to speak of,
but you wear them for the play.
You’ve stepped into real greatness.
You’re an enlightened being.
You have no fears anymore.
You are a center for nature to do her works,
for the divine to act.
You are not the initiating repository.
You just ride the seas
a passive instrument in God’s hands.
We’re goin’ there,
you, me, and everyone,
regardless of your creed.
It’s a long way off
for the race to achieve.
This individual door has been opened always
few and far between.
A quickening is coming,
and we will grapple with this state.
I think some will fight it,
of course.
We’re headed toward that now.
I’m a medium for this change,
one of many.
I don’t know how many there are.
Let’s see if I pull it up,
and that will put my words in the right place.
This is exceedingly huge in front of me,
and I get scared sometimes,
and I know what to be scared for.
I’ve been there a time or two
momentarily,
else I couldn’t talk like this.
Right now I’m just dry on this.
It’s miracle
not natural change,
and that has to change.
I have to see it as the order of the day.
My days are spent grappling with the impossible.
There is so much more to life
than anybody wants to know,
and you’re left with a big gulf
you have no knowledge to cross,
no matter how much knowledge you gain.
The world is big you understand.
Who can fathom existence?
But we have the way station of enlightenment to get us there.
There’s more to come,
but that’s where we begin.
Hold out for more.
Is climate change all there is to change?
Are we just working for our survival?
If we reach the stars, then what?
It’s another planetary marvel?
There’s more to life’s room
than you live in this house and do these things,
than the existential field in front of you.
We can go beyond doing.
We can be larger than our field.
The world does not bind us.
We are strangers in a strange land.
Life is magnificent
in her shoes.
Typified somewhere in art
is life’s grandness.
Life is bigger than her existence,
than climate change.
You should all panic
says the frightened child,
be very afraid
says the press.
Is that so?
Sit down.
It’s always like this:
emergency’s got us noon.
If you don’t push people around the world will end,
come on see the test you’re in.
Can you outgrow yourself?
You have a large spoon.
Hello poem.
Hello world.
Well let’s get at it.
If the water wanted to it could stir your mind up to pits your brain. [spoken at the end of a dream where I was being healed of being raped, although I hadn't been and was just playing along so to be safe from a would-be robber, by people chanting and pouring water and herbs over me as I knelt down in the center of them] We’re, we’re thinking. We see where the water comes from. That’s the science-found equation, such a big skeleton. It is a thing upon the air. We grow it in Petri dishes. We see it everywhere. It’s life force, can’t you just tell by looking at?
It’s not wonderful solving human. It’s angry, hateful, and mean. It’s in our land, has penetrated our children’s lives. It’s gonna get worse. It’s time to act now upon this monster.
The last thing your burger could be is a flavor of murdered animal. Alright people it’s mean. What? We knock ourselves silly. Can we identify the problem? It’s hatred and ill will spread out upon the land on the inside. That’s the problem. We garden with it. That’s our accident. That’s the science confusion.
I am tired of this broadcast: we need climate change to stop heat, and hate is so rampant among us. Can you see it? Look in your heart. Look in your mind. You won’t find it anywhere else where you can directly work on it. Yah hear what I’m sayin’?
Where does your hatred find fingers
in the real world?
In the pedophile’s bed lay,
even the kind that don’t molest children.
I think we’ve hit the hot spot in everyone.
In that American audience
this is more pronounced than ever.
QAnon anyone?
They rule the show.
We’ve looked at hatred with our hands,
and we’ve looked at the hottest variety,
but there it is your companion in so many places,
at the supermarket for example
when you’ve revealed yourself to them
riding there among them.
Come on let’s get outta here.
I’ve got a surprise bottle,
not what you’re lookin’ for
Mimie.
Michael Jackson wore this.
I’m safe from him.
I’ve exploded keys.
I would like to hunt you down and kill you.
There are so many of you,
and we’ve ruled exactly that page.
You’re learning the thought book
that mesmerizes each other,
your outrage
that helps you goin’.
As soon as he pays you’re probably gonna murder him anyway,
because you think you can go
Emmett Till
and get away with it.
We think we can go.
Let’s all a bunch of play
that’s no work to yah.
You hate each other silly in perspectives.
What is gonna wake you up?
You manage this.
I don’t need to sit through a movie I need to sit through things here. [spoken at the end of a dream where I’d just arrived at an orphanage to be a resident child there, and the assistant to the director was telling me I could go to the movies with the director and children he was taking]
You had only wanted brains
at the moment,
and you’d left the heart to rot.
You federal people.
You don’t hate anyone.
You could explode yourself,
take a gun and shoot everybody.
Hate’s got that gun,
hate the rapist at large,
any Tom, Dick, and Harry who stole the street.
A nation takes a scapegoat and makes Jews outta them.
Mr. Blackwell,
Black man,
you think he’s a social disease,
don’t yah,
and let’s not forget the corporate managers.
They need to be shot.
God damn your next door neighbor,
his music’s too loud,
and you just hate that shopkeeper.
You got there first.
Why, he cut you off in traffic,
that son of a bitch.
Any number of things,
and you apply hate in its place.
Voyeur it in your mind,
don’t you hate those people.
Okay I’m through.
I need a better climate.
Well it’s process work,
that you understand the direction.
Any constitution,
ninety percent of the battle is
get it outta the heart,
and it is being done very slowly.
There’s Jesus cop,
oh my Jesus oh my good. [spoken at the end of a dream where a tank had just come to the rescue of people about to be killed, the tank firing away, focus on the tank commander, who was halfway out of the hatch and ordering commands]
Come, come, come, come,
it’s a climate emergency.
We hate each other on the inside.
You see the climate emergency?
Even animals have a right to regard.
We hate them too.
Oh that burger taste good,
but I’m hearin’ a cow in there,
and I’m not open to rough spots yet,
but at least I’m ready to acknowledge the cow.
Murderous cow disease,
can I get over that?
Well, you’ve seen my banker.
I’m gonna begin to feel them.
I’m not gonna shut out anybody.
We’ve got a climate to get better.
I’m not gonna hate anybody.
There, I’ve said your peace,
and we’ve made a climate change,
the secret buffalo
that helps us make the right decisions
that gives us climate justice.
This is what we need to see
to unequivocally change the world,
and there we go.
Got it
critical
mass.
Of their winners
we have the announcements.
They made spiritual enlightenment
where they found water.
They made spiritual enlightenment the goal of the game.
They came to us in broad planes.
I don’t even know where he is.
In a horrible ruling mansion
nobody wants to go.
Have you ever seen freedom do it?
I’ve got a broadcast for yah.
Here put this on.
[vision of being seated at a computer chair I don’t recognize and taking off my pullover shirt and putting on a blue, American football jersey that changed into a purple one once it was on]
I’m on my way.
You give healing meat its substance.
You’re way out there,
right in the slot of truth.
I don’t think anyone understands this.
You’re a miracle:
nobody’s touched you;
all the help you get.
You really show people somethin’.
Most people don’t know it’s there.
They’re too based in ordinary.
Okay we climb mountains,
keep goin’,
just press on.
We’re goin’ somewhere.
I hoped you a-l-w-a-y-s thought me u-g-l-y,
you thought me friend. [this and above line heard sung in the voice of Don Williams to tune of "You're My Best Friend"]
Our best teacher,
we’re talkin’ soul.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Think Oil.
You hear soldier.
Oh man you don’t stink.
You’re chasin’ a good one.
Okay you got the preamble.
I would like soul need determine time.
I want to talk on the level of soul.
Where do we bring this out?
Is it evident anywhere?
How do we talk about soul?
Do we meet it with the divine?
Where’s it goin’?
Where’s it come from?
How long it’s been?
Does it explain us?
What is about soul that makes its process?
Does it rule time?
Where can it be found?
Is it perfect?
Can we touch it?
How does it find us?
Is that all there is?
How do you add it to the program?
Can we say it’s substance?
How big is it?
Does it search us?
What are its parameters?
Can we get at it?
Is it Black,
or would all colors fit its lifestyle?
Is it here among us?
When does it die?
Is it our only project?
How did it get here?
How do we communicate with it?
Does it know us
as the thing that does?
Is it our true nature?
Is this soul a concept or a divine?
And we go round and round.
The soul asks more questions than it answers,
but we can look at it.
Can you?
It’s here.
I think it’s from another planet.
It’s put us on.
That planet’s another sphere,
the reality behind reality.
We are its goalkeepers.
We fumble ourselves all the time.
We don’t know how to do it,
take soul and measure up.
It’s the substantial reality behind us.
It’s put itself here.
I think that’s phenomenal existence.
The soul is a dome
phenomenal existence fits inside.
It was here first.
I don’t think we cant touch it with our hands.
It’s not the reality we see.
It’s got our backing.
Where do individual souls fall in?
Let’s say they’re here.
This is not pepper spray.
You can help put ‘im on
that things might get hurt.
This is the ballpark.
Hello soul—
this is an individual flavor of existence.
It’s got cans on it.
They go through time.
That’s the flavors it carries around.
It’s expressing your life.
See the flavors?
All these tunes
express our life to us.
So many layers to the soul.
It’s a great big getaway.
There’s nothin’ else to it;
it’s the ground of its own being.
It represents us in time,
and we are representative figures
of this thing called soul.
We express it everyday,
and our body is its leeway.
A deformity,
an ugliness,
awful, isn’t it?
You’ve needed that to get along.
If you look at the world as a container,
that doesn’t fit.
All things are expressive of soul,
even the ugliness.
The world touches you there
like it’s probing you.
Awful, isn’ it?
Keep going.
This expresses you,
the dynamics of this life.
You’re carrying that with you
for an example set.
You have to learn from this example.
It’s so pressing,
and it’s so physical.
I think everybody knows I love little boys.
How ugly is that?
I am one case where the focus
bounced off the movie.
Sure enough he was.
I came to souls in the room.
They were everywhere.
Try fucking a soul.
They don’t want you to do that.
You don’t abuse a soul.
You just don’t.
It’s the basis of reality.
It’s got bigger than life.
There’s no abuse possible.
Are you expressing soul when you abuse somebody?
You’ve stopped doing it
a soul becomes visible.
We are all relating souls.
They transcend time.
You cannot harm them.
Violation is impossible.
Life is a field for the soul to work out deities.
The human soul is not divine.
It’s something more fundamental.
It’s the substance of deity.
We don’t hinder it
as it brings deity to the human room.
It’s expressive of deity.
It helps us put that on.
That’s our purpose here.
Can you see the soul bringing up life?
This is the arisal of everything.
The substance of soul has a field to play.
It’s putting on itself
in ever increasing rooms.
I don’t think you can touch bottom
of the soul’s play.
Can you imagine infinities within infinities within infinities?
And here we are in our room.
So much accompanies us,
so much to do.
Where do we go with this?
Towards the substance of soul.
We layer ourselves.
What has made it to the surface
is a little play in time,
this little portion of us
we so mistakenly confuse with us.
It has all of us behind.
My God the soul,
it’s there in the room
the container of existence.
Jerrycans of abuse,
I was the orphanage.
That’s our predicament here.
We’re bastard children
a mommy and a daddy have left behind.
We can’t see our divine parents.
Divine origins allude us.
We only know we’re here
getting spanked by time,
clusterfucked.
We don’t know how to stop abusing one another.
We just don’t know how to help one another.
This is a horrible place.
It’s a prison house.
It just sucks us,
and time’s got its finger up our ass.
Dry, lifeless orgasms
is where life meets us.
We are probed.
I say again we are probed.
Our greatest joy can turn to pain
in the happenstance of death
everywhere surprises us.
We are dangerous keepers.
We can’t trust anyone.
Real amateurish
your whole monstrous tirade.
No, and I like it,
but I’m waking up.
The policy of monsters
we are bring to ourselves.
Are you really waking up?
Jeremiah 19:9 the most monstrous of all.
Do you know what?
The city didn’t rush in to defend you.
I’m curios to know why it didn’t.
You’re a monster.
They are making names
to make sense of their city.
It’s purple passion
not heart attack.
I had a hate here with wine.
This is the poison we all drink,
to be to ourselves our city is good.
Now are you ready for Christmas?
And here comes the soul.
That’s what keeps us together,
keeps us from falling apart.
It’s music you hear on the radio
when the world had just caved in,
and you know that song's talking to you
everything’s gonna be okay.
It’s that sudden smile you get
from some perfect stranger,
and it’s like a kiss from Heaven
because the rain has come.
It’s your mommy’s warm hands
washing your tender parts
not wanting anything for herself,
and you are seven or eight.
It’s an ice cream truck
comin’ round the corner,
and you have just enough for a cone.
It’s the great big beautiful sun
shining down on you
like you mean somethin’.
It’s the breeze
wiping the sweat off your face,
and you have just run.
It’s the lovely afternoon
your family sang,
and you will never forget those moments.
It’s your father’s satisfied hands,
and you’re his little boy in them
wanting so to be like papa.
I’ve embroidered soul
where life keeps you,
and it’s good.
This is the backup plan.
This is our special moment.
This can ride the day
if we lean forward
and let the soul lead.
It’s all about soul,
the house of life.
I’m afraid
the depths you have to go to find that
are deeper than the world.
You hear that
these are possible inner journeys.
You go inside,
consciously, thoroughly,
until you reach soul.
Did you know you can find it?
A conscious arm
you fall into it.
I think unconsciously we arrive there often,
else we would die I’m afraid
cut off from soul.
We have to come up for air.
This world is a heavy dress.
We take it off
in moments sublime of dreamless sleep.
I bet you didn’t know that noon.
In raw material sleep
we can find the drop off point of matter
and soul dream
larger than time.
We have journeyed to the soul.
It’s not a substance material make.
It’s the first substance of Spirit,
and it’s got no bookends to it.
A receptacle of our Spirit open and true,
that’s the phenomenon of soul.
This is the causeway.
This brings us to Ourself.
This brings us to the divine meeting in the room.
May come some horses
with some contrary will.
Yeah exactly.
What is adequate?
Is that adequate
in the fatal moment,
in the fatal heartbeat here?
Soul expressive of deity,
that’s meaning
that has us all by the horns.
Cans.
Go ahead drive her,
drive her over.
Pay attention to people.
You want a soul
happen so matter of fact.
Now let’s come back.
We have to put on soul.
If you sat regular times…
Bruno!
You always have to watch out for Bruno.
He’ll take your underwear off.
You have to do a preacher’s build.
You check in
and withdraw.
You look out,
and the watch ends
on visible things.
You have to come together on soul.
You have to see beyond life.
There,
it has your hand.
Let it lead you now.
You have to get somewhere in life.
The soul is your regard.
It will take you to deity.
It will remove all obstacles.
It’s your great ship.
It’s the navigator.
It comes to you in dreams
and exercises the world
tonight,
and you can see things clearly.
We help it along
by being ourselves.
That’s Alpha Zero,
enlightenment stark.
This is its great evolution path,
and we are fingers of its evolution.
We do not abandon us,
and we help each other clearly
when we come together on soul.
There’s where the abuse stops.
There’s where we know our promise,
for it is the soul that leads us.
The soul we are,
the substance of ourselves
leading ourselves.
I’ve called on you tonight
to be the witness of soul.
It is bigger than leeway.
It is so much bigger than time.
It’s us in the ground of us.
No gap, no divide,
prevents it from helping us.
It’s here.
It is only blindness separates us from it,
and check it out in a poem.
You know I’ve opened your eyes.
Should end right there,
I’ve told you violence.
I just turned and turned around and saw the soul.
An opportunity
Kozar. [vision of a mean-looking person coming to a line of people and slapping someone near the front of the line so hard they fall to the ground and then doing the same to someone towards the end of the line]
He didn’t quit.
‘Cause you make it,
you always make it.
This is not a spiritual Disney Land.
This is not great,
but it has awareness in it.
I’m feeling the world.
I’m feeling my own inadequacies.
I love my dog.
This is great,
such warm sunshine,
and my little boy,
he carries my heart around on his sleeve.
I carry his form around in my eyes.
He’s wonderful to look at.
Those are my propellers,
and I love to be successful with them:
that little boy gets what he needs,
that Rottweiler.
I measure my life by this,
how successful I am with people.
Do we all stand here?
He’s form to look at,
that one sittin’ there.
It must be Himself,
the divine in the room,
all the way to God.
This is not just some form in my head.
Oh my God it’s God,
tangible, real.
How do I count this to you?
I don’t think it’s possible.
Ultra-dimensions pass on through each other
and come hold hands with my life,
like they know me.
That street sign,
it has my name on it.
That t-shirt
beat the impossible.
See that beggar?
Hump that one.
And God waves at yah.
It comes and goes.
India is the attitude of the divine.
You’re not gettin’ it.
It would not be an information folder.
It’s not a belief system.
I’m right there.
I’m not shaking like a leaf.
12 o’clock
I can see divine process,
and you’re saying probably the hardest thing to say:
you’re meeting deity on your terms.
This is not major broadcast news.
Who wants to hear about it?
I stand, I see, I know God.
It’s not like you think,
all fire and brimstone.
It’s love.
The patience They have can move mountains.
I’m all stacked up God,
individual deities in the room too.
They just love yah to death.
How do we measure Them?
Okay I’m human, You’re divine,
and let’s get this point across.
Come here—
like my Rottweiler I can’t say no.
They hand me.
It’s wonderful.
Okay you can’t see Them.
How do I call out to you?
You’re my bro, see.
They are not yet my next of kin.
It’s this gulf/divide. [words spoken simultaneously]
They come here in representation.
Representation divides my room.
I can’t bite the hand that feeds me,
but it’s all aglow.
What do we do with all this see?
Show it to yah.
You’ll deny it.
You won’t like it.
But the mountain has some of yah,
if you’re wide awake,
and God’ll think you’ll die,
you can’t hold ‘im.
I would take you to summer school.
Hop on my bus.
It’s crowded.
Who will my drink companion?
I’m lookin’ at an empty bus.
Well here’s lookin’ at yah kid.
I’m all full of deity.
Why can’t I transform?
Okay, I’m still in ordinary consciousness.
What’s the deal?
Flash floods,
people just crowd me out of God.
They’re my touchy-feely reality.
I have to live with them.
It gets bigger all the time,
the living room of embodied existence,
I mean the people interacting with mine.
Okay, get rid of it.
That’s not possible.
I have to live up to you,
and Douglas I do.
That’s my partner.
Where do we go with all this human?
You can’t tell ‘em you’re out to lunch.
All this density defies deity,
or does it?
Density of human being,
can we control that?
Density of human being we can get better.
We can put everybody at their stations
and have a crowded room to ourselves,
when our very own room is impossible.
I know how to do that with that boy,
put him to his whatever.
This takes timing and security.
You have to know when to go in
and realize you’re safe to do that.
You’re buildin’ walls
that don’t keep people out as much as you in.
You see the lighter?
Instructing my house,
arguably a bit more busy than yours.
I think the magic has to go to the transformation.
We’re opening divine consciousness.
It’s the deity in the room.
Oh and speaking of which,
for love of Rottweiler
I do not control this poem.
Do you know how lovely a Rottweiler is?
I’m here for deity.
I mean I must be.
I wanna be.
It’s not happenin’.
They’re there for me.
All the dogs burst through the door,
have joined me on the bed.
Oh those dogs.
Now listen,
I’m giving you instructions I’m gettin’.
Bruno’s eating a pair of shorts.
Bruno!
A blow by blow poem. [actually describing events in my room as they happen]
Now take this job and shove it.
Can we trust divine process?
It’s so large.
It destroys us.
Alright poet clear the room.
I’m not killin’ yah.
Even when it’s got our good at heart,
it makes us lift the human race higher than we are
every time we say the word.
I’m expressive of deity.
I am so expressive of human.
Everything’s a divine moment you see.
I can’t get over it.
I’m gonna go pet my Rottweiler.
There are no complications there.
A reader is left wondering what to do,
and you know I’m listenin’ too.
Turn God into slime,
or silly putty,
just stay sober.
I’m gonna
go to every page of this diary.
I’m not gonna be a fool.
I’m gonna put my relations on rightly:
stand back and see God,
all the time.
Weird Alf,
take it from here.
Oh no it’s terrible.
You know I’m talking about mocking videos,
Auroville infighting,
all this irony,
all these videos.
Sit down.
Well he has never failed on your science test.
Wait his test.
You’ll get caught up in something,
and you’re not the angel in the room.
We say nobody’s perfect.
What we mean is
wow, nobody’s good.
Now, starting with the elementary school,
we’re gonna look through that door.
Where gonna look
at God see there.
It has a hand on your life
that your dog can show you.
You can put your foot down,
and the dog knows you’re his master,
or you can look at that tea kettle.
It’s an attention grabber.
Now we can go to that military tank.
No it’s not aimed at us.
It’s protection.
How do we find God?
Well I’ve given you the first number:
I made a mistake.
It happens to the best of us.
I’m having one
big relationship
with the world through God.
Now listen,
you have to pick God up somehow.
It’s not done by books and tea stories.
There are no other eyes but God,
and that’s half the equation.
God sees even without eyes.
It’s not a blind relationship.
You’re all over it.
You’re there in the midst.
Peel back the walls.
Boy double field have I done.
I don’t know, a counter offensive.
Take back the city of Kyiv.
We’re military commanders.
We’ve got to get our capitol straight.
That’s the only thing holding us up for war.
The military is on my side.
We let the divine victory go ahead.
This is major defeat for the enemy.
You can’t give them soosh anymore,
that sudden life force
they get from bad relations.
These are not human creatures.
They’re the anti-divine.
Fuck all this raincoat.
That’s a blow off statement.
I’m a pop singer.
I’m going to bring you down to science.
God is not cultivated clay.
God is right there in your room.
You can’t get nothing out of Him.
You’re a pauper when it comes to purpose.
You have no burning need.
Notice God is there
when life can’t go on without Him.
This is an apple yard.
I don’t think despair has you by the throat.
You’re not in hell on earth.
That’s another kind of find Him.
You’re really restricted.
There is no room for you in society.
You try to keep up appearances.
You can’t define yourself.
You plainly see your inadequacies,
and you need help.
This is beyond human repair.
I wonder to suicide,
or I’m scarin’ to Mexico.
It’s got so bad he wants to bring something back.
These are the circumstances to bring God into my life.
I don’t care about the double feelings.
God to come in.
You wanna contact with the two brothers.
I pick the color O’Neill. [spoken in Douglas’ voice]
Taste sweet.
I think gonna sell the island.
You mean he’s gonna be known by the public?
Did he bite you?
No he didn’t. [vision of Nitish running off a street dog with a stick, and it seemed like it bit him, but it didn’t. I’m speaking the two lines to him in the vision]
There is protest.
There is this one
say it here,
and I watch while the balloon take me.
But you'd probably think it bites living in an Amish paradise. [heard sung by Weird Al, “Amish Paradise”]
It was God don’t wanna tell yah.
Where do we rose the poem,
an Amish simplicity in Auroville?
I think we’re talking to everybody.
Great Thou art.
No need to wear homespun clothes,
get all down and dirty
in fixin’ crops.
You can be an urbanite,
or not.
Where we come simple is God.
He’s the keeper
of our relationships human.
We look at all things through Him.
Can you envision this?
Now fight that crowd
God in the flesh.
We are only meeting ourselves.
Nobody has it right in Auroville.
Divine consciousness came.
I think you all spit on it.
Is there anyone on earth that doesn’t?
Few of you.
On top of Auroville
divine process happens.
You would not like to know I’m there.
I’m sorry,
this happens.
An Amish simplicity round house,
I’m doin’ the best I can.
Could you meet me up there?
What texture is your vision?
Is it otherworldly?
Is it right there on the spot with everything?
Does it see layers?
Can it figure out God?
Do you see the reality behind reality,
see that in everything in reality?
If you only see yourself
standin’ on nothin’ but atomic molecules,
do you see anything else?
There is no beyond the universe,
nothing bigger than any conglomerate you believe in?
Do you see a beginning and an end
to the concept of forever?
Do you see the forces behind the universe
making it all happen?
Do you see yourself in that
a representative player in a chess game
with the ‘figure-it-all-out’?
Do you see meaninglessness as only existence?
Do you see the meaning of the stars?
Can you see any bigger than your little figure on earth
a humpback in immensity?
Can you see yourself in the microscope of time?
Can you see what you’re here for?
Can you see what you have to do?
Can you see the meaning of this poem?
Can you it see it plain and clear?
Can you see I’ve shown yourself beyond time?
Can you see that’s your spot in evolution,
the journey beyond anything stars made,
the journey beyond the universal envelope we’re in?
Can you see that figure here
where you’re at,
a body on earth?
You see a lot, don’t you?
Wear Light
There is an honesty here I can’t seem to capture.
There’s guttural, bold-faced reality
we don’t know how to adapt
to our meaning lives,
to our ordered square one.
We’re faced with it everyday.
We negotiate.
We stand on our head.
We dance and sing.
We don’t know what to do about it,
make it so it works
where our lives face the world.
We just stand there and gaze at it,
not knowing what to do with it.
It’s just a great big mother fucker,
too much little in our lives,
a mountain highway
that falls from grace.
It’s a little bump in the road
that threatens existence.
Now I talk to you
about what we’re doin’ here.
Can we redeem chaos?
Can we take the barrel of the Void
and fill it with God’s wine?
Can we take God’s night
and make it show the world?
Can we be what we are in knowledge
to where we are beneath ourselves?
Can we be real man?
A little piece of God
has fallen into the light.
Will it ever see again
it is God?
I heard you on the stairway hum an old familiar tune [heard sung by Bob Ayala, "Silent Witness"]
with the yoga of the world where God has been,
and we’re reachin’ there, you know?
And I’m with yah buddy.
Abdicate in Light
I seem to see myself
apart from everything,
a whole world unto myself.
I’m inside myself
watching you out there
oh world events in time.
It’s special in here.
It’s got grand in it.
It’s incredibly vast
in the fingers of my see.
I can’t make of it
the right thing to you,
the all, the everything.
Can we call that for later show?
I’m a principle list
in the summation of my see,
and I grapple with you the same.
Equal integers
on this strange planet,
we broker a see.
Incredible, isn’t it?
Is that the only way to see stars?
Can we get out of this?
I’m holdin’ it tight
in everything I do.
Can you believe me?
Oh my God I believe you.
I really, really, do.
Hear me?
We broker a universe
in the substance of ourselves.
We are so down there, you know?
We broker a universe you know.
Get my wings,
and I’m free space,
and I give all that to you.
What’s wrong with this see?
I’m not there yet,
but I’m standin’ right beside you.
Okay I’m blind.
I think you said that.
That’s time’s worth.
Tear the whole thing apart.
I’ve been writing all of my life,
over a lifetime’s hole,
the orange and white.
I shake my hips and sing.
Some call me indecent.
Do penises shame?
Do they dance and sing?
It's so down to earth your control program:
nice and cool
leave the boy alone.
We can get over matter.
The most gorgeous boy in the world’s layin’ beside me,
and I’m writing a poem.
Now where do we do business?
That goes there. [vision of a TV screen in snow static]
Walkin’ to Sri Aurobindo’s birth anniversary.
I live it down.
All this interest he’s generated is not sincere.
I don’t know how to tell you this:
he’s clickbait.
Grab his pants will yah?
I’m awfully strong.
I feature in lit fests,
in everybody’s alter ego.
I liberated India
and will the superman bring.
I am bigger than the world,
but I’m only in Indian subcultures:
tweet, tweet, tweet, tweet.
We put the energy abounds,
the mesmerizing of a name.
Okay take him apart.
Where would we put him?
I don’t think we can find him
in his early quotations.
Do you know the fullness of his thought?
He wasn’t a barnstormer.
He wasn’t even a nationalist in the end,
where so many put him.
He got bigger than stars.
Would we say Supermind is an Indian thing?
He’s callin’ the shots
for the whole damn race to change.
So pigeonhole him
the nationalistic spirit.
Be a lie unto yourself
because you vote for Trump.
I’m sorry, I’m crossin’ lines.
Can we say Trump’s Modi?
They’re not identical twins.
It’s a time spirit phenomenon
all wrapped up nice and pretty.
Nations are heaving with nationalism.
Hear India?
I don’t know which one there is victory or defeat.
I’m not a time spirit reckoning.
I just came to say Sri Aurobindo
is not a nationalistic voice.
He saw Supermind on earth,
and that was his evolutionary aim,
and that’s what he showed us
much better than we think we saw.
You’re all wrapped up in particulars.
Let’s look at the Sun, shall we?
I think he built a bridge
from here to there,
there beyond this field of stars.
It’s bigger than the universe,
even if you don’t understand it.
I’ve studied there
in one great big moment of my life,
the only way you can see there:
be there.
I’ve offended everybody I know.
It’s not that you believe me;
read me
and tell me I only know here.
Now can we get past a name?
They trip us up every time.
Okay put a pedophile in Supermind1
for one sudden moment in life,
and we’ve found a way out of name.
You got it.
This line of guidance from the inner voice came to me some months back:
The strength is on the distant
The first interpretation that jumped out at me was the yogic technique of distancing yourself from undesirable lower movements, looking at them as not oneself and detaching rather than struggling with them. Looking at the line that way helped me to free myself from the weakened but lingering siege of a strong vital reaction that had gotten in the day before the line came. Do any other interpretations jump out at anyone?
Recently I was going through my files on my computer and I came across an aborted dream/inner journal from four years ago that I’d forgotten about. It only had a few entries and one of them was this line from the inner voice:
Snowshard that ape
Below the line I had written some comments stating that I thought the line had to do with sexually staring and fantasizing, that this was the ape-like behavior I was exhibiting, and that I needed to stop it. That may very well be true since that was a big problem I was struggling with back then. As Donny pointed out to me however, the ape is more of a general symbol for the animal vital in us and symbols like the dog, pig or goat more commonly represent sex itself specifically. Given this the ape could symbolize any primitive movement such as anger, jealousy, selfishness etc. and not just sex. With this idea in mind of a wide range of movements potentially symbolized by the ape, let’s further analyze the line’s meaning by looking at the words snow and shard.
As far as snow goes, the first thing that word suggests to me is purity, but there’s also the sense of cold or freezing. This gives the idea of stopping the ape-like behavior ‘cold’ and purifying myself of it. The word shard suggests something sharp and dangerous that can cause harm, so here we have the idea of ‘killing’ the ape-like behavior. In addition though I would also point out that when something is shattered it breaks up into shards, and like humpty dumpty can’t be put back together again. From this we can get the idea of ‘shattering’ the movement, weakening it to the extent that it can’t reconstitute itself and become a significant problem again.
So I guess I could sum up the line’s meaning as “Stop that ape in it tracks and shatter that impure movement.” Now one thing I really like about this line is its bluntness, the way it calls a spade a spade. It really helps me see how I’m acting like an ape, so I’ve been making use of the line since rediscovering it. I’ve mainly been using it to remind myself to snowshard the sex movement, but I also used it this morning when some annoyance reared its head. If you’re reading this and think it could help to snowshard the ape in you please feel free to use it.
Harm's End 