This post is going to show a type of dream that Donny, Mithun and I have worked with a lot, and that’s a very common class of dreams that show things that are going to happen the next day or the next couple of days or even what happened yesterday. And while I’ve had dreams that show actual physical outer events symbolically, the type of dream I’m going to share here shows what’s going to transpire within us psychologically, how we’re going to react to things that are going to happen in the outer world. The dream I’m going to share today also shows, in my opinion, a psychological movement in someone else.
I should point out that this particular dream is related to sex and sexual desire, which in the yoga that I follow is something to be overcome, along with a lot of other things that come from the animal part of our nature, such as anger and fear. So my dream treats it as something dangerous even though it’s something quite natural, and for most people overcoming sex isn’t something required of them. Regardless the dream is quite clear, and thus a good example of the way dreams do things. So I would encourage everyone to keep reading, especially if you’re someone who has a sexual deviation that makes your life miserable or even hurts others, because then you’ve got a good reason to get sex under control.
This dream, which I call ‘The Queen Dream’, forecasted an uprising of sexual desire that occurred in me later that same day. The dream also gave a warning, and I’ll relate the consequences that uprising of desire had on my state of consciousness.
When the dream began, I was in State College Pennsylvania, where I went to college at Penn State. I was somewhere that was sort of like a commune in the middle of the city. The focus of the place seemed to be gardening, as there were lots of potted plants around. A number of people were living and working there. I can’t remember if I was staying there or just visiting.
There was also a group of pretty, young, dark-skinned women there, wearing long dresses of different bright single colors. One of them was the queen, and it was forbidden that any man should touch her, though it was understood that once she got married her husband would have that privilege. The punishment for any man that touched her was death. She was allowed to touch men though, because at one point I was close to her, and she affectionately reached out and touched my stomach, but there was nothing overtly sexual or flirtatious about it. It was clear though that she was fond of me. Afterwards I asked a guy standing next to me, “If I just bumped into her by mistake, would I be killed?” He said, “Yes.”
So that’s the dream. Now what’s important to mention is, while I can feel attracted to all types of women, the kind of woman that gets my blood burning the most is a dark skinned woman like the queen. It’s the queen of my desire you might say. When Donny and I discussed the dream we both agreed the queen represented my vital/sexual attraction to this kind of woman. That touching the queen in the dream, means death shows it isn’t good for me sadhana-wise in the way that dreams tend to exaggerate things. The fact that there were potted plants around where the dream took place indicates the vital since plant life such as forests, etc. often indicates the vital part of the being, as does the color green. In addition, the fact that the larger setting of the dream was State College, Pennsylvania also brings lower vital indulgence to mind since it’s a renowned college party town. However, Donny also suggested that the setting was a college town since I’m dealing with sex on the ‘college level’, in other words, a more advanced level than say would be represented by high school or grade school. Regardless, we see that everything here points toward the vital, a vital atmosphere or a vital movement. So keeping in mind that dreams often show symbolically how we’re going to react psychologically to something the day after the dream (or how we reacted the day before), let me tell you what happened in the outer world that sparked my desire that day.
The evening after the dream, Midhun came into my room talking on his phone with a girl, and I wondered if it was his sister Priyanka, who’s a pretty young Indian woman I find attractive, though I’ve only met her once in person, since she lives three hours away. Under the influence of what I call ‘color’, I said loudly enough that she could hear, “Hi Priyanka!” Now what I mean when I say ‘color’ could be described as a mild form of sexual attraction, which makes us want to interact with, in whatever way we can, the someone we have color for. Color also makes it easier to be more kind, patient, helpful or understanding with people who fall within the range of our attraction. So I had said hi to Priyanka just to have the thrill of a little contact with her, but then Midhun handed me the phone so I could actually talk to her. So I said hello to her again, and she said hello back in a friendly way. She’s actually quite happy with me because I helped her and Midhun put together a video of her singing a song for her boyfriend as a birthday gift. I should mention she has a very sweet singing voice, which is another thing I find alluring about her. Anyway her English isn’t very good, so I just wished her a nice evening and that was it. Midhun left the room, and then I suddenly felt a rise of desire for Priyanka enter me like a breath, and the urge to fantasize about her was strong. I remembered the queen dream though and could see the connection. That is, the queen in my dream represented my attraction to this type of woman and this current state of arousal that was bad for my sadhana. That made it easier to stand back from the desire and let it settle down.
Now hopefully I have explained things clearly enough that the reader can see the connection between the queen in my dream, the symbol of my desire for dark skinned women, and the state of desire that was sparked by my interaction with Priyanka. I think it’s important to note that this dream was at the end of a long sequence of lucidity where I was going in and out of different dreams, and having varying levels of lucidity. This I believe is why the dream is so simple and clear. It was a purer dream or a deeper level of dreaming that doesn’t have as much weirdness or bizarreness as a lot of dreams do, even if they’re meaningful dreams. This dream was straightforward and to the point.
If you remember, at the beginning I said I felt the dream also showed what was going on psychologically in someone else. This has to do with the action of the queen in the dream, who touched my stomach and not my penis, and she did it in a fond and affectionate, but not overtly sexual way. And this is how Priyanka actually responded to me in our interaction because as I said, she is grateful for the help I gave her. She has a vital friendliness towards me like the queen did in the dream.
Now of course I didn’t literally die from all this, but it did have an effect on my consciousness. At the time of the dream I was getting a little bit of steam going sadhana-wise, and I had actually been lucid in another dream a few days before that. In addition, I was somewhat detached overall and able to keep from giving sanction to reactions that were rising up the way they do in life in response to this or that. I was also having periods of time where I was more conscious than normal of the constant stress, dissatisfaction, unease and grumpiness that is my vital’s default state. Hand and hand with this there was the recognition that things don’t have to be this way, that these moods are just habits of the vital, and it really is possible to be content and carefree instead. I know you might be sitting there saying, so what? But there was a knowing quality to it that isn’t there now when I think these same thoughts. I was really aware of the truth of this in a way that was subtle, but yet more substantial than just a thought in the head. All this up-buoyancy ended after the sexual uprising, which opened the door to other lower movements getting in. My little bit of detachment was replaced by a state of perpetual irritation with virtually everything and everyone that lasted for weeks and was frustrating because, try as I might, I couldn’t get a handle on it. It was an unpleasant drop in consciousness and the ‘death’ you could say of a more positive state.
But perhaps this was a drop that was avoidable. As I said at the beginning, this dream was a warning, or could have been, if I had taken it in the right way. It was showing me that something was going to happen soon regarding my sexual desire. The problem is, I wasn’t vigilant, and the dream went out of my mind after Donny and I discussed it in the morning. If I had used the dream as a tool to keep on the outlook for something, I may very well have caught myself before I blurted out, “Hi Priyanka!” with so much color. Regardless, the remembrance of the dream, after the desire had gotten in, did aid me to let it go faster than I might have otherwise. So it still helped. I want to mention that I also find it interesting that I didn’t actually touch the queen in my dream. This further makes me wonder if this little misstep was avoidable.
Now, in contrast to all this, something else very interesting happened that same day. Earlier in the day, before the phone call, Midhun was resting and had a very vivid vision of Priyanka, who reached out and touched his heart. He said he could feel her sweetness and her love for him, and that he was very happy to see her, actually felt like he was in her presence. In the vision he smiled, and when he came out of the vision that same smile was on his face. Now something like this represents, in my opinion, an actual contact with someone. Perhaps it was just him receiving a strong formation of love from his sister Priyanka, generated, no doubt, while she was thinking about him. Or perhaps it was her inner being, which came and paid Midhun a visit. Priyanka adores her little brother and makes lots of sacrifices for him and his musical endeavors, buying him first a keyboard and then a laptop, which is a lot of money for the salary she earns here in India, even though she has a college degree. Now, I think it’s fair to assume my dream and Midhun’s vision we’re related somehow, but what exactly that relation is, I can’t really say.
Now in closing, I’d like to come back to the subject of ‘color’, this low level action of sexual attraction that influences most, if not all of us. It’s something we’re all familiar with, though most of us probably don’t give it much thought it’s so natural. It brings to mind the image of the high school nerd following the gorgeous cheerleader around like a lost puppy dog carrying her books for her, even though he has no chance with her at all. So with this in mind I’d like to invite the listener to take a closer look at color in themselves and color in the world outside and see what a large part it has in making the world go round. If you look deeply enough and attentively enough, you might find yourself shocked at how pervasive it is, and how it’s showing itself in places that your unsuspecting mind would never have thought to find it. I will say though that while color is an insincerity, a form pf preference, there’s something true about it at the same time. At its fount and origin, it’s still love, despite what happens to it when it manifests on the surface of ourselves, that is, in waking life and in normal human consciousness. Anyway, nuff said!