The Meaning of Abuse

photo by the author

Can I see Nithish,
get in touch with Nithish?

Riot in the sky,
I see this as I’m putting Nithish to bed.
Oh my God it’s the sure I’d Lloyd I’d love to see you.
I’d like my heart back please,
pump when I see him.

Take one daddy to school with you.
How do I choose?
When did you loose the property?
When my mother gave daddy tears.
And if all else fails
don’t let him do my inner.
I’m holdin’ out for a special treatment.
He called.
He answered.
Daddy can talk to me again.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow? (line heard sung)
Where is he?
Why can’t I see him?

He’s incredible.
Show us a way
stay of execution.
Just take him,
I know where he’s at right now.
Generate a whole new record.
The door to your future
you just looking at me
to want to see me.
He turned around as soon as you said that.

To pick up Jesus,
tear a doll out of your breast.
You are hurting me,
go the distance.
The power has put his eyes out.
He bless Nithish.
Thank you for being so sweet.
Everything in my inner power I have done,
my power.

Stop treating me like this.
There’s one problem on the crimes:
I don’t believe you.
You’ll have a typical day at the office
not for long.
I’m mean to measure you,
show you to yourself.
Here I show you.

You are a horrible and wretched little boy.
As far as I know
you haven’t capital anything
except your playthings.
You will see this and fast.
I show this to him.
You will see art.
You are not a brother of the Sun.

You’re being recorded.
Easily jealous,
I will show you what you requested,
the courage to love in the face of defeat,
the courage to love in the face of death,
the courage to love when the one you love
could care less if you live or die.
You are incapable of this courage.
You are incapable of this love.
I give it to you yourself.

Do you see me Nithish?
That is wisdom:
love before anything else,
and my mean little boy,
who’s cut me out of his life and thrown me out in the street,
I honest to God do love you,
and I always will.
I’ve got to give it to you,
you horrible little boy,
so you don’t grow up
a psychopath,
the meaning of abuse.
There I see you.
வணக்கம்,
the world is watching.
What do you say?

Is this what I’m supposed to say to him?
It’s his difference
he appear on the outside
from the Nithish on the inside,
the Nithish that thinks and feels.
The world sees him
the Nithish on the outside
that is spoiled, rotten, and mean.
That’s what the world sees Nithish.
It’s unknown to you
the world can’t see your inner.
You’re a child that thinks and feels,
and you can’t measure the world yet.

How you think and what you feel
are so entirely big to you,
are louder than the world in front of your face,
so loud they fool you.
It is so loud in there
you think the world can see the inner you.
You need to open that up
and show the world what you’re made of.
Can you get a grasp on this Nithish?
If you do not now,
in your little boy self,
right now still in your tender days,
your life will be such a waste
it won’t even be possible to record.
Stand up for yourself now.
Stand up for you.

Can you hear me honey dog?
You know it’s time.
There, I’ve said my piece.
Is it still the meaning of abuse?
We gather abuse that way.
Give this to all people out there who care.

The Terms of Abuse

photos by the author
I will not speak.
My inability to speak
keeps this bottled up inside me
so I don’t feel it.
Do you trust me?
Some day
I will touch this pain again
and tell you how much I love you my very precious daddy.
I cannot do that now.
I’m sorry.
It hurts too much.

Signed, Nithish

Okay world,
you got your answer.
The boy will not stand up for me.
He will simply let me die
without saying a word,
if I choose to do a hunger strike.
That is powerful pain
I have to deal with,
my boy’s denial of me
when I am doing everything I can to help him,
as I promised I would
when I spoke to you on the phone Nithish,
not long ago.
Has it only been two weeks?

Okay Sandiya what can I say but I’m sorry?
I made a very big mistake
in challenging your pride,
and no there was no blackmail
with the intention of putting you or your husband in jail,
no matter what the boy said
the day you took him from my home.
He was confused.
Throughout these two months,
in everything I’ve done,
in everyone I’ve spoken to,
I did not try to put you in jail.
I made no attempt to file a case
of any kind.
The video lies there unopened.
It’s never been used to get you arrested.

Will you please forgive me?
If not for me,
then for the sake of your son?
He needs me and you know it.
His heart is a battlefield,
and he’s just lost a major battle of the war.
You don’t understand love,
how it can’t be killed,
and it only hurts your child to try.

Do you know how much time together we have spent?
Many years of his childhood,
formitable years,
influential years.
We have been so together for so long,
and he can’t just wipe that out of his life,
like it never happened.
It’s too big a hole in his childhood.
He can’t get rid of it.
What you are asking of him is too much,
and it is too cruel.

I can only ask you again to forgive me
for this boy’s sake.
Where does this go?
Let me see him,
and we can avoid this drastic measure
I’m about to take.
Can you see that?
Can you see that with your heart?

After all the years we’ve spent together Sandiya,
since you yourself was 12,
you do not want to let me die
refusing to allow me just two hours alone with your son,
after all that we’ve been through together
for so long.
Please Sandiya listen.
For God’s sake listen,
and let us avoid catastrophe,
let us avoid more pain.
Lay down your arms,
and I lay down mine,
and let us make peace
for children’s sake,
and I do not have to lay down my life
for the sake of this boy.
It is not just me seeing him;
it’s about letting Nithish be Nithish,
what I will truly be fighting for.

Will you accept my apologies?
And we can move on,
get through this,
and give Nithish what he truly needs,
and he needs both of us for that future.
Listen to his English.
Listen to his ideas,
his manner of speaking,
his manner of thinking.
That is my stamp upon him not yours.
You are not an intellectual
nor someone culturally refined.
I am sorry but you aren’t.
I have sophisticated this boy,
cultured him,
in things that are the high pass of humanity,
and I have shown him God
reaching down into his life,
and I have shown him the opening
to the well of soul.

Listen to his poetry very carefully,
and you will not find the stupidity of a child.
That is not a baby there
rattling off
with no will of his own.
It is a very alive and mature soul
wanting this boy to fulfill his purpose
to manage his destiny,
and that is not my destiny nor yours.
It belongs to Nithish alone.
Grant that to him
and let us pass
this brush with death.
I beg you Sandiya.
What else can I do?

I can give him America
and U.S. citizenship
and what his future could do with that,
anywhere in the world.
You can’t give him that.
You are limited to India
for this boy.
Why can’t I open up the world to him?
Because you need him to fulfill your life?
Isn’t that what you told him I wanted him for?
Please Sandiya,
think on yourself.
Doing evil to me with no goodness involved
is a grave sin,
and it will haunt you
for the rest of your days
if we cannot make amends,
and my death will be between you and Nithish
even unto the afterlife,
if you let me die and do not let him to speak.

Let us put his future together,
as I am not a mean man,
unlettered.
I have the college education you want for him,
and I have the experience of an unusual and varied lifetime
that reaches for humanity’s heart.
I do not believe you are filled with so much hate you will let me die.
I do not,
and I stake my life on that belief.
It is not my folly that I hunger strike.
It is your folly,
your heartbreaking refusal to let the boy and I see each other.
Okay Sandiya,
where do we go from here?
It's for Nithish.

An Incidence in Man

photos by the author
He’s read by anger.
He says it beautifully and sweetly.
I saw the changes
up front.
He’s just so confused, afraid.
I feel sorry for him.
It’s his lowest book,
give you trouble.

He doesn’t know what to do with himself.
I’ve already got complaint.
Pound the report.
He keeps forgetting the name
of the trashcan
they threw him in the night it happened.

You’ll do exactly what I say
to waters,
to water.
It pulls him.
He does it.
He masturbates in front of his father and mother.
I have a question.
Why do they want him to masturbate?
You would think it would be the other way around.
It was.
It’s soon to be pleasure house.

There, there now the father’s hand.
You’ll get a rise out of me in a minute with this.
After that
he met the strong end of the law.
Come help,
and Sandiya slapped him as he pulled,
pulls his red car.
He felt his little toy rear end.
He screamed,
and his father pulled it by the roots again.
Now, he was hysterical,
and that’s how he got into the bathroom
with his mother,
and then she syphoned his little pony to sooth,
golden fellatio.

Son of a bitch,
this is horrible news.
The vision
is exactly what happened,
all the ponies included,
and we rest our case here.
It’s too lost to talk about,
and that boy’s underwear is scared.
This was the opening for him to destroy himself.
This made him blight his tears
for me.
He couldn’t believe
it had happened,
and he kept tryin’ to forget about it.
It was a horror story
out of Genghis Khan.

Now it’s on Facebook,
and you don’t believe it.
I’m sorry it’s true.
Spiritual vision shows it,
and it has shown it all along.
You just didn’t hear me the first time.
Now they put all of this on him,
the surveillance cameras,
the total control,
the psychological manipulation,
the physical abuse,
so he wouldn’t tell me what happened that night,
and that’s why,
dear ladies and gentlemen,
he can have no contact with me whatsoever,
in any shape for form.

They do not know about consciousness.
They think you can hide somethin’
they did to a little boy,
and I’m in union with him.
They don’t know about consciousness.
They think we’re separated,
and we communicate daily.
The boy’s gotten fluffed about it,
and is trying to ignore it.
He wants to accept this abuse and move on.
He has been ruined in character,
totally humiliated
where he meets the world,
and is scared to death of his parents
when they’re in their wrath.
He will do anything for them,
except tell me to get lost.

Okay now that’s you’ve heard the story what are you gonna do?
Nothin’.
We haven’t crossed this bridge before.
You just listen to stories.
No one will question this kid
with the proper treatment.
They let his mother rule,
and she is not good to him.
Okay Pondy it’s your stuff.
You need to see this,
because this boy died on the Cross
so you wouldn’t abuse your children.
Can you figure me here?

He’s a representative example
of what you do to children,
just so exaggerated
so it has the impact it has
to show you abuse is wrong.
You don’t know about representative figures.
They’re a holy book.
They are like a Christ,
and you need to see them
so you can get the full effect.
This is godly awful, isn’t it?

Imagine what it’s like
to be one with this child,
sharing consciousness together no holds barred,
and then he’s taken from me
and has this done to him,
and I have to watch
a helpless observer.
I screamed and I carried on
to advocates, the TV news, and the Child Help Line.
No one would question that kid
or even worry about it.
I was a crazy lark
that needed to shut up,
but I’m an activist,
and I know my stuff.
This story has gone out to every major NGO in the country
that deals with child’s rights
and preventing them from being abused,
several Pondy TV news channels,
and every major newspaper in the country.
This story will get out,
when the election’s over.

There’s no stoppin’ it now,
and I’ll be right there
to receive that boy
to take him home and heal him,
because that’s what union does.
You’re unified on oneness,
and systems of abuse
do not have ground of being.
It’s a union story
of love and kindness.
It’s oneness’ story,
the heart of compassion,
knowledge of one another
where the soul sees.

I’m sorry I’m teachin’ yah new things.
You’re not good with innovative stuff
when it involves the terms and conditions of our being,
what a human being is,
and how it tries
to rise up out of human being
into the next class.
I give you there
with this kid.
That’s our endeavor together,
to change man.

Now tell me again I can’t heal this kid,
but the truth of the matter
is that we’ll heal each other.
I’m in the same shape he’s in,
only I will take the lead
because I’m his daddy,
and daddies,
my sweet audience,
really do know best.
Thank you Pondicherry
for letting him heal at my house,
his home before all this started,
his place of refuge and safety,
a place of loving dog.

And that,
my dear friends,
is where this chapter ends.
Did you know dogs are with us to become human beings?
The soul says this,
and evolution’s its spur.
That’s why they live in our homes.
That’s why they’re our children.
They have an appointment with destiny
when they change to the higher kind,
and for a mountain of dog lives
they learn the ways of human being,
until they become a Lisa,
my beloved dead Rottweiler,
and they have the magic of human being in their eyes
growin’ their understanding inside.
They have reached the pinnacle of dog,
and our house raises dog,
and that boy’s right in the middle of it,
lovin’ those dogs
and those dogs lovin’ him.
Imagine how his dogs felt when he was taken.
They’ve never seen him again.

We have the ingredients for healing I tell you,
even in the notion of dream.
It’s candy for us.
What did you dream last night?
And we all tell.
We have a healing house,
and we’re ready for this boy
to return.
Now Pondicherry we’re a prototype,
and you’ve gotta be big enough to see it.
You’re a big enough town for it.
The supramental manifestation on Earth
descended here first.
You grapple with big things.
It’s time you knew that,
and it’s you Pondicherry,
you,
that replaces Jerusalem
as the city of hope,
the city of peace,
and we’re here to help you with that,
me and this boy.
Okay Pondicherry,
let us heal.

You’ll have to give me the man roles.
What have we here?
Look at this kid,
strangely peacock
even in defeat.
Are you listenin’ Pondicherry?
Tell me a secret.
I get him smooth.
You crazy person,
you’re by the wall;
I’ll try not to
tell you to get lost
after the election.

We are the soul rise,
he and I,
and I understand your concern,
and I understand your confusion.
Boy get it to become man,
and we’re hit Pondicherry on the head
of its going to school.
Now laugh at that will yah,
and tell me I’m a fool.
You haven’t read his poetry yet,
nor seen that strength of soul.
Just sit back and relax
and review our material.
Videos, poems, and songs
will knock your socks off,
will do your head in,
will be kind and gentle and sweet,
every time you see us talk,
but we will be loud,
and awfully bright.

Now here am I in front of Pondicherry,
goodnight.
Hey, can I get you something?
Do you need to cut us up in pieces and throw it away?
You don’t need to do anything except go with the movement.
We know how to ride the storm.
What happened?
You heard the story that they took ‘im
and all that ensued,
and I am his daddy,
and I would like to raise him again.
All sorts of thought
we give you Pondicherry.
One came in a dog suit.
Vision of Luna. (vision of my Rottweiler standing outside near a wood)
The wrong
people
have that boy now.
You need to see this
and make it right.
You can see the future in us
if you look hard enough.

Nithish and his daddy,
now that’s an item.
There’s no reason to fear that now.
He’ll be at break tomorrow.
The train station
on Friday comin’ here.
I’ll have to turn him in the grocery store,
and toys,
many presents,
we let him have.
He’s got a healin’ train a comin’,
and it’s at the station now.

What an active young man.
Who are you?
The poet
of the sunrise of humanity.
Let’s move his truck,
and he can express that,
and I’m his keeper,
and I’m his teacher
there at dawn too.
Please hear us.
We’re the Milky Way.
We’ve got good news,
the colors in the rainbow,
either in social media
or every place you meet us on the street.
That’s rock bottom vision.
It goes like this:
do you hear our pull?
We’re a look out for human beings.
Can I wash off the dog?
Get it right with human beings.

Nithish is with his parents.
Don’t say anything now.
One for… (vision of Nithish sitting at a computer and his mother and auntie are standing behind him, Sandiya taking a photo of him with a flat, silver, square camera, telling him to pose, and I realize they are taking a photo record of him to compete with mine, making a sudden concentrated effort to do that to rival the photos I post of him)
It looks like a photo shoot,
and they’ve got the video to prove it.
And there he is.
I had no idea.
Nithish you’re asking me a question:
where do you divide the partition?
As long as you’re careful not to do that,
tear me apart,
we wouldn’t partition ourselves.
Your parents are using you for propaganda.
They’re taking pictures to rival me.
I took spontaneous pictures of you.
The difference is tearing me apart.

You’re open
to they put you here they put you there,
like they’re doin’ it for you,
and you give them that warm smile,
thinking you have their business.
It’s not the same baby dog,
and I wonder if you can even feel it,
so lost you are in their approval and validation,
so far you are away from me.
I don’t like Bozos,
Bozo the Clown.
Put that on the street.

Grace school is himself. (vision of Grace his Beagle puppy standing in a table chair on her hind legs with her front paws on the table)
He’s in his underwear.
He’s big and small and little and mean.
He won’t take no for an answer.
He’s not dedicated to you,
and something happened that changed his mind.
You did not seem relief.
You were not there for him.
You didn’t come,
and you were crazy with grief.
You wanted to see him so badly
it turned him away from you.
He doesn’t respect you.
He believes the brainwashing.
He doesn’t know what’s up.
He doesn’t care to find out.
You want to know if he’s happy
and doesn’t need you.
He can’t find himself.
He’s alone on the inside,
and if you can’t see sadness in his eyes,
you can feel it in his heart.
He wants to see you
and need is comin’.

He doesn’t understand what’s happened.
He’s too little for that.
He wants so see you
help.
He has not gained by loosing you.
His life is something forcing.
He’s a painted doll.
You are his flower.
He just wants to sit and be with you,
but he doesn’t want to see this too loudly.
He doesn’t want to be in the garbage can
anymore
with his parents.
All that’s over.
That he doesn’t renounce you that’s okay.
They just keep him from you,
and the phone call the other day they got by.
You’re crazy and confused his mind
was their answer.

And now you’ve declared you’re gonna die to see ‘im,
hunger strike.
I’m in trouble.
This will all fall on me.
Hear him now?
Is he worried about you?
They don’t want him to be but yes.
He doesn’t want you to die.
Will he do anything to stop it?
He would try.

Now all this bad news,
that makes you feel so bad,
is gonna change.
When you see him again you’ll know you’re there,
and he will remember past lives,
and he’ll want it there.
He’ll reveal secrets.
He will be with you in every heartbeat,
and this will open that boy’s mind
to convince his parent’s of his need to see you.
This is incredible news
and will change the story.
He will be yours again,
and they will have to contend with that.

Is there a public on the way?
It happened.
The public got wind of this,
and you’re showin’ it to them now.
You’re in the Pondy poems,
and this one’s the big one
for their being’s worth.

He has my note.
He has my seven.
We need him to see you,
and that’s soon.
He doesn’t know which way is up.
And you’re gonna show him Heaven’s door. (vision of Nithish sitting on the curb of a street and looking up at me with such open love)
He’s the taste in your room.
You’re his special surprise.
He knows you’re comin’.
Will you listen to me?
This was our world,
the great and hidden pain of death.
And you’ve got me on time,
before I forgot you.
There I’ll see you on Friday.
You make the test model fight too.
It’s prevision,
and it will become active soon.

Oh there were his plug pluses down there.
There were him.
“The samadhi of the Gods is in my heart
water drops.”
He will felt good listenin’.
Have you watched your video yet?
I’m not lookin’ to do that.
What’s wrong with you?
No contact with me,
that and I want you to leave me alone.
Two notes from the ranger.
You are being awfully bad.
We have to waste time here and I show it to you.
Here,
and will you come when they ask?
I would go in a heartbeat.
But you won’t watch the video?
I’m scared to feel the pain.
I don’t want to remember you.
I don’t want to cry.
Alright little boy,
you aren’t the greatest little boy in the world,
but I will see you soon.

Divine Guidance Fills the Room

Stop trying to send it,
the right posture.
I’m a dog.
I can’t handle this.
I just know I’m sick.
I don’t know what to do with you.
You are too big for me,
and I am so out of place
I look for you.

What is the background ruler?
You’re in my consciousness a healing element all the time.
You have your episodes.
You’re trying to heal me.
You see my pain.
I don’t know what to do about it.
Not being able to tell my mother
that you are good for me
is my special cowardness.

She doesn’t understand.
She could care less what you feel.
Her hatred is so intense it scares me,
and why did it suddenly come?
She’s not the right person for it,
remove you from the scene.
She can’t even do it.
Okay do I need you?

You are my living defense,
no matter what I do to you.
You have love in the places I hurt you.
Why can’t I do that?
Do you know that I’ve thrown you out in the street?
I do not place my hand on phone calls.
I am through you with you,
finished,
but I don’t know how to do that.
You’re so alive in me.
You’re so there.

What do I do about you?
I keep asking that question.
You are so there for me I can hardly believe it.
You can call yourself love.

A fine touch on that consciousness
I have started your hand.
You will bring him back to you shortly.
He loves you so very much.
I understand your misgivings about Us.
We must seem horrible,
and you don’t know the reasons for things,
and you don’t know how to tell the muse.
It just runs with things
and gives them pass.
Your hopes and fears are a coloring sensation.

Now what’ve We done here?
How have We surrounded you with Nithish?
You will greet him you will see him you will be with him
in some short meeting on the way.
This has got you down
because it hasn’t happened
and looks like it never will.
You think this present attempt has failed,
and you’ve started your hunger strike
by announcing it on the news,
not yet though in your arms.

You’re sure right about one thing:
We’ve messed up with Nithish.
We don’t know how to lift him.
We don’t know how to care for him.
There is too much in the way.
We don’t work directly on people.
We send them influences,
suggestions.
We don’t make them act.
We can do nothing with this boy.
He does not field Us.
He is too scared and alone,
and he won’t listen to you.

That’s texture,
and he needs your paste creamy and smooth,
like you gave in the lucid dream
where you held him so tenderly.
Every chance you’ve had with him,
you’ve messed it up.
You are in the same shape he’s in,
unable to handle things,
a filibuster,
and Sandiya revels in this,
like you’ve suddenly lost your mind:
“See there! See there!”
Is that what the boy thinks?
He knows you’re dad.
You’re not given any slack.
Every mistake you make is exploited
for political gain,
and it’s not fair.

We’re tryin’ to arrange a room
where you and the boy can meet,
and there’s no one there yellin’ at yah
or tellin’ him what to say.
That’s Our next move.
Please be patient with Us,
as we take these world forces
and put them together.
They may not work.

This is terrible sweetheart,
and I know it,
but We’re lendin’ a helpin’ hand.
Can you come with Me I’m sorry?
You just want the boy in your arms,
and we’ve got to get back to a sadhana room.
You got so close
last time,
so very close.

Are You Fear Comfortable with Me?

photo by the author
So you can go and tell on them.
That was Nithish’s muse.
He has purpose.
He has charm.
He has the call to action.
We’re gonna get this story read to the public.
What did they expect?
He had come so far.
They brainwashed him in the family.
He didn’t give them what they want:
to renounce me over the phone
in a controlled conversation.

I was emotionally distraught,
aggravated,
and it came across on the phone,
and then I calmed down
and talked to my baby dog.
He heard me.
I could hear his mother in the background
telling him what to say.
I mentioned everything I could think of
to get him to hear me.
We actually had a conversation.
I was able to tell him things his mother cut the phone.
They called back,
and the mother tried again.
I’m with them now
the boy said.
Do you want to see me
I asked.
He had already answered yes to that question
in the conversation ago.
No answer,
I asked again.
Yes he said.
I will move Heaven and Earth to see you again
I told the boy.

Do you love me more than anything in the world,
or was that a lie?
I wasn’t lying.
Do you want me to go back to America?
No
the boy replied.
Well I’ll do a hunger strike,
and I’m prepared to die.
The boy heard every word I said.
Hello again, I’m sorry baby dog,
I cannot live without you,
and I love you more than anything in the world.
Ask to see me.
Do not stop.
But they will not hear me.
Ask anyway,
and the divine will help.

The mother cut the phone again,
as I explained their brainwashing technique,
and then I talked to her.
He doesn’t want to see you
she said.
But you heard him say he did.
Leave it, leave it.
No woman I won’t.
I am not afraid to die,
and I will lay down my life for him.
On that she cut the phone.

Well here, here,
let’s have a toast
to her inability to brainwash him.
He was supposed to renounce me.
He did not.
Even in front of his mother
he admitted he loved me very much
and wanted to see me.
She had failed
in killing his love for me.
Now how’s that for an answer
to their control of him?
They don’t have it.
Isn’t that wonderful?
Love will find a way.

Thank you woman.
You are so very dumb
letting us speak like that,
and you know we love each other.
You really think the boy’s gonna lie for you?
He did not, did he?
And you are tellin’ him what to say.
I say again.
You did not control this boy
when it came down to it,
the very thing you’ve been punishing him for,
he loves his daddy
and wants to see him,
and all the restrictions that you’ve put on ‘im,
all the surveillance you’ve had him under,
all the control you’ve done to him,
telling him what to think,
how to act,
and how he should feel,
day and night on that boy,
has not worked, has it?
I’m still there
in that boy’s heart,
in that boy’s mind,
a living presence.
The power of love,
do you believe in it now?

Now we go from there.
I have his base.
I have his will,
and I will stop at nothing
to see him again.
That mother has messed up.
She gave us the very thing
we needed from each other:
validation of our love.
She has no idea what’s she’s doing
in keeping him from me.
It’s against his will.
It’s against his plan.
It’s against his life’s purpose.
It hurts this boy so.

So what do we do with that?
Hello Pondy do you recognize me?
I am a public speaker.
I want to show you child abuse
where the parents get away with it
because no one will listen to the foreign man.
You think that’s right?
Well here let me show you how I do things,
in video after video,
and can I show you this story?
Follow my Facebook page.
Now who’s listenin’
I ask the interviewer.
Will you help this boy
become himself again,
step out of systems of abuse
and let his daddy heal him?

Okay Pondicherry we put you to the test.
It’s a public ride.
Do you care about this boy?
Why have the parents taken all his rights?
Do they have the right to abuse him?
Do I have no rights as a parent?
And I have been raising him for years.
Wait ‘till you hear why they took ‘im,
on impulse,
for a bad story they did,
and I called them on it.
It’s all on Facebook.
Just look and see
Donny Lee Duke.

Now we’re goin’ somewhere.
He listens to me,
and we are there:
we get to see each other again.
We get to be together,
and we can heal wounds.
Thank you Pondicherry.
I know you care about children,
and I didn’t even have to hunger strike.
I just got interviewed by a member of the press,
and we took this story wide.
Now that’s business.
That’s coffee,
and that’s how you shame two parents
who have been evil to their child.
You give them a public face,
and suddenly the sex video they made of their child
doesn’t look for fun anymore.
It looks awfully deep,
their betrayal of their children
in their parenting room.
Do you hear me Pondicherry?
You will.

This is the sudden story
that shows you how to raise children,
and that’s not with a bat with a glove.
They get the best treatment
because they are our future,
and they do not live for us.
They live to be themselves
in the future God has put them on Earth for,
their soul’s purpose in time.
That Pondicherry
is why we raise children,
to bring a better Earth
to the love that they’ve found God,
atheists included
in this survey.
We just go the highest we can go
in bringing a human being to the heights of humanity.
That’s that little child you know,
and here, here,
we let them grow.
Any objections?
I thought not.

Well let’s go.
This little boy needs your help,
and we are waiting.
Thank you God.
Thank you world.
I knew I could count on you,
and it’s over.
We raise the world that way.
That’s how you do it.
I agree with that.
We put the night we lie in
in that abuse.
Do they play with his toy?
No it’s not pumped.
It’s not his genitals they play with.
They play with his mind.
I’ll never go over here
to sleep,
where I’m soft and warm and comfortable
at daddy’s house.’

He lies there awake at night
wondering at the enormity of his loss,
and the hope and the despair
rob his mind of sleep.
There they abuse him
in the night’s deep.
If you listen really closely
you can hear him cry
Oh God why have you done this to me?
I thought I was your child.
And his faith is gone,
and the night’s this huge monster
that gives him nightmares.
Great the feelings play
along being’s edge
to make him want to die.
Do you hear this Pondicherry?
Listen closely.
This boy needs our help.
Will you just let him lie?

What do you do with that?
Let’s go in the kitchen and think some,
drink some coffee.
You know that is a velacara man.
Do you do this to our own kind,
let a foreigner raise the alarm?
That’s the real question here,
isn’t it?
The abuse is secondary.
Whether it’s Hindi kidnappers
or a velacara man,
you will not blame yourselves for your own stolenings.
You need the world to change.
Alright Pondicherry,
let this boy and this man be together,
who for years been under your wings?
They belong there.
You’ve seen them so much
on your streets,
in your shops
and in your downtown,
and look at them there on the beach.
They’ve been in your heart Pondicherry
ever so long.
Just ask the guidebook,
all your surveillance cameras.
They’re nice together,
aren’t they?
For years.

This is cross country skiing,
and you go to Pondicherry.
An ape has his hand,
his mother on the phone.
Can we tell you the guidebook?
Bilbo Baggins,
I just wanna see ‘im. (vision of him sleeping)
I’ll walk to the landing.
Where were you again Patricia,
Ovid?
The boy has not stayed with you
in his first awakening.
He will come back to you soon.
I gave him a story,
but not in his department.
I met him online.
Hobbits are peace lovin’ folks you know [line heard sung]
I have the quarter to knock this out in him,
his return to brainwash,
and that’s America.
There’s a picture.
Now come on,
what have we here?
That’s a beautiful rose.
We’re goin’ in a cop shop,
and that’s gonna interrupt everybody.
It arms to daddy’s house.

I’m pretty sure your mother’s lying to you
about the presentation of that video.
Watch the video.
She’ll let me do it
at the capitol,
where we met yesterday.
What pad you had no idea.
Ah, that close
to my home in Kuruchikuppam.
Three more packages.
That will change everything:
you see each other again,
and the video
starts making updates.
You see that boy again.
You’re standin’ tall.
You’re standin’ fast.

The Pressure of Unspoken Tears

The photo of Sri Aurobindo over my writing desk

ஆங்கிலப் பதிப்பிற்குப் பிறகுதான் தமிழ் மொழிபெயர்ப்பு.

Can you show me what he’s hiding?
Can you show me what he’s seen?
Twelve feet in him (horrible vision of Nithish drowning in an indoor swimming pool, only his face visible, on it terror and pain)
the psychological manipulation of his tears.
Where he bothered you:
he’s gonna have to clean up the horse
and the skin his mother gave him
and all his father’s done.
This has been gross, ugly, and mean.
It’s nonstop it hasn’t let up.
This is hurt him
deep in being’s ways.
His warm heart is gone.

He’s not himself.
He’s not even trying.
He would like to just go to bed.
He acts normal and sweet,
and then he flies off the handle at the slightest provocation.
He can’t deal with himself.
He’s scared to be alone.
He’s spends his time alone
in the middle of everybody.
He would like to kill himself sometimes.
He hates himself for giving in
to his parents.
He doesn’t know how to deal with the string between his legs.
It’s all confusing for him.

He doesn’t know where is up.
He would like to let go.
He doesn’t know how to talk
if anyone asks him about daddy.
He loves daddy,
but he can’t remember him properly.
He’s a very unhappy little boy
behind that smile of his,
and here’s where we find his pain:
he has to hide it,
or his parents get mad at him,
and here there is no relief.

Why is he crying his unwashed tears?
You would not hear a tear.
In the very beginning
this was shut up inside him
when his mother shut off those tears
to keep him from reminding her she’d done wrong
in taking him from daddy,
so abruptly,
so cruelly,
and so never see him again.
This broke the boy’s mind,
made him languish on himself,
took his heart and tore it in two
where no hope that it ever mend,
and this is what he carries around
to this day.

Now you laugh at him for being weak,
being such a titty-baby,
or you frown on him.
He’s never mentioned his daddy’s name
or that he wants to see him,
but he cannot speak I tell you,
and I’ve shown you all these gears inside,
but the day is coming
this boy will explode,
and he will tell everything
his parents have done to him
to make daddy a phantom in his mind
and a dead man in his heart.
To take this love this sweet boy had
and make him kill it in himself,
you have not seen this day
the boy lets all this out.
What do you think his silence is saying?
“I’m going to explode I’m going to explode.”
And there will be heart keeps
showing the world what he’s seen.
No one will doubt what his parents have done to him,
and no one will doubt what he needs.
He needs daddy.

That’s good for children.
They need to hear it,
and it’s eleven o’clock.
And who’s name do we use?
A fighting chance.
Where is the boy?
Emergency
who can’t be seen,
but you know he’s there.
Look in your photographs.
This will arrange things.
This is what he needs to see.
It’s good for him sweetheart.
Don’t worry.
This is not next year.
He’s coming upon this now,
and it’s a long ways away
from his certain grasp of himself.

He comes to her with such a smile,
and he knows I’m in pain.
It was your mother’s pride.
Will he hurt his daddy?
No my sweet boy
you’re okay with me,
and the festival tomorrow
we did run.
Did you know that?
Give it to him fiercely and nicely,
this boy’s destiny,
why so much pain.
He’s the poet of a sunrise,
and he will help children everywhere
from systems of abuse.

See you tomorrow
twisting,
turning,
and he knows there’s a difference
between what his mother tells him
and what I do.
This isn’t fair him.
You need to see his face.
There are bruises on it from a gifted childhood
right at the point
they put a said on the planet.
Are you game for watching heroes?
Watch this boy.
Now will you help?
I’d like to see him.
There.
சொல்லப்படாத கண்ணீரின் அழுத்தம்
அவர் மறைத்து வைத்திருப்பதைக் காட்ட முடியுமா?
அவர் பார்த்ததை எனக்குக் காட்ட முடியுமா?
அவருக்குள் பன்னிரெண்டு அடிகள்
அவரது கண்ணீரின் உளவியல் கையாளுதல். (உள்துறை நீச்சல் குளத்தில் மூழ்கி நித்திஷின் பயங்கரமான பார்வை, அவன் முகம் மட்டும் தெரியும், அதில் பயங்கரமும் வலியும்)
அவர் உங்களை எங்கே தொந்தரவு செய்தார்:
அவர் குதிரையை சுத்தம் செய்ய வேண்டும்
மற்றும் அவரது தாய் அவருக்கு கொடுத்த தோல்
மற்றும் அவரது தந்தை செய்த அனைத்தும்.
இது மொத்தமாகவும், அசிங்கமாகவும், மோசமானதாகவும் இருந்தது.
இது இடைவிடாது அது விடவில்லை.
இது அவரை காயப்படுத்துகிறது
இருப்பின் வழிகளில் ஆழமாக.
அவரது சூடான இதயம் போய்விட்டது.

அவர் தானே இல்லை.
அவர் முயற்சி செய்வதும் இல்லை.
அவர் படுக்கைக்குச் செல்ல விரும்புகிற.
அவர் இயல்பாகவும் இனிமையாகவும் செயல்படுகிறார்,
பின்னர் அவர் கைப்பிடியில் இருந்து பறக்கிறது சிறிய ஆத்திரமூட்டலில்.
அவர் தன்னை சமாளிக்க முடியாது.
அவர் தனியாக இருக்க பயப்படுகிறார்.
அவர் தனது நேரத்தை தனியாக செலவிடுகிறார்
அனைவருக்கும் நடுவில்.
சில சமயங்களில் தன்னைக் கொல்ல விரும்புவார்.
விட்டுக்கொடுப்பதற்காக அவர் தன்னை வெறுக்கிறார்
அவரது பெற்றோருக்கு.
அவர் கால்களுக்கு இடையில் இருக்கும் சரத்தை எப்படி சமாளிப்பது என்று தெரியவில்லை.
அவனுக்கு எல்லாமே குழப்பமாக இருக்கிறது.

அவனுக்கு தெரியாது எந்த திசையில் எந்த திசையில் மேலே செல்ல வேண்டும்.
அவர் விட்டுவிட விரும்புகிறார்.
அவருக்குப் பேசத் தெரியாது
அப்பாவைப் பற்றி யாராவது அவரிடம் க daddy.
அவர் daddy நேசிக்கிறார்,
ஆனால் முடியாது ஆனால் அவரை சரியாக நினைவில் கொள்ள முடியவில்லை.
அவர் இப்போது மிகவும் மகிழ்ச்சியற்ற சிறு பையன்.
அவன் புன்னகையின் பின்னால்
அவருடைய வலியை இங்கே காணலாம்:
அவர் அதை மறைக்க வேண்டும்
அல்லது அவனுடைய பெற்றோர் அவன் மீது கோபம் கொள்கிறார்கள்,
மற்றும் இங்கே நிவாரணம் இல்லை.

கழுவாத கண்ணீரை ஏன் அழுகிறார்?
நீங்கள் கண்ணீர் கேட்க மாட்டீர்கள்.
ஆரம்பத்திலேயே
இது அவருக்குள் மூடியிருந்தது
அவன் அம்மா அந்த கண்ணீரை அணைத்த போது
அவள் தவறு செய்ததை அவளுக்கு நினைவூட்டுவதைத் தடுக்க
daddy விடமிருந்து அவரை அழைத்துச் செல்வதில்,
மிகவும் திடீரென்று,
மிகவும் கொடூரமாக,
அதனால் அவன் daddy வை இனி பார்க்கவே மாட்டான்.
அது சிறுவனின் மனதை உடைத்தது மனம்.
இது அவனை தன்னுள் புதைத்துக்கொள்ள வைத்தது.
இது அவரது இதயத்தை எடுத்து இரண்டாகப் பிரித்தது,
மற்றும் அது எப்பொழுதும் சரியாகும் என்ற நம்பிக்கை இல்லை.
அவர் இதை எல்லா இடங்களிலும் கொண்டு செல்கிறார்
இந்த நாள் வரைக்கும்.

இப்போது நீங்கள் மிகவும் சிறிய பையனைப் போல நடந்த கொள்வதற்காக அவரைப் பார்த்து சிரிக்கிறீர்கள்
அல்லது நீங்கள் அவரை முகம் சுளிக்கிறீர்கள்.
அவர் daddy வின் பெயரைக் குறிப்பிடவில்லை,
அல்லது அவர் அவரைப் பார்க்க விரும்புகிறார்.
ஆனால் அவரால் பேச முடியாது, நான் உங்களுக்கு சொல்கிறேன்.
இந்த கியர்களை எல்லாம் அவருக்குள் காட்டியிருக்கிறேன்.
ஆனால் நாள் வருகிறது
இந்த சிறுவன் வெடிக்கப் போகிறான் என்று.
அவர் எல்லாவற்றையும் சொல்வார்
அவரது பெற்றோர் செய்தார்கள்
அதனால் அவர் daddy வை ஒரு மாயத்தோற்றம் என்று நினைப்பார் அவரது மனதில்
மற்றும் அவரது இதயத்தில் ஒரு இறந்த மனிதன்.
இந்த இனிய சிறுவனை daddy மீதான காதலை கொல்ல வைக்க,
இந்த நாளை நீங்கள் பார்க்கவில்லை
சிறுவன் அதையெல்லாம் வெளியே விடுகிறான்.
அவருடைய மௌனம் என்ன சொல்கிறது என்று நினைக்கிறீர்கள்?
"நான் வெடிக்கப் போகிறேன், நான் வெடிக்கப் போகிறேன்."
மற்றும் அவர் தனது இதயத்தில் என்ன வைத்திருக்கிறார்
அவர் பார்த்ததை உலகுக்குக் காட்டுகிறது.
அவனுடைய பெற்றோர் அவனுக்கு என்ன செய்தார்கள் என்று யாரும் சந்தேகிக்க மாட்டார்கள்.
அவருக்கு என்ன தேவை என்பதை யாரும் சந்தேகிக்க மாட்டார்கள்.
அவருக்கு daddy தேவை.

அது குழந்தைகளுக்கு நல்லது.
அவர்கள் அதைக் கேட்க வேண்டும்.
இப்போது மணி பதினொன்று.
மேலும் யாருடைய பெயரைப் பயன்படுத்துகிறோம்?
ஒரு சண்டை வாய்ப்பு.
பையன் எங்கே?
நெருக்கடி
யாரை பார்க்க முடியாது,
ஆனால் அவர் அங்கு இருக்கிறார் என்பது உங்களுக்குத் தெரியும்.
உங்கள் புகைப்படங்களில் பாருங்கள்.
இது விஷயங்களை ஏற்பாடு செய்யும்.
அவர் பார்க்க வேண்டியது இதுதான்.
இது அவருக்கு நல்லது அன்பே.
கவலைப்படாதே.
இது அடுத்த வருடம் அல்ல.
அவர் இப்போது இதைப் பற்றி வருகிறார்,
மற்றும் அது வெகு தொலைவில் உள்ளது
இப்போது அவர் தன் மீது வைத்திருக்கும் பிடியில் இருந்து.

அவர் ஒரு புன்னகையுடன் அவளிடம் வருகிறார்,
மற்றும் நான் வலியில் இருக்கிறேன் என்பதை அவர் அநாங்கள் தலைமை தாங்கினோம் என்றுறிவார்.
அது உன் தாயின் பெருமை.
அவர் daddy வை காயப்படுத்துவாரா?
இல்லை என் இனிய பையன்
நான் உன்னுடன் நன்றாக இருக்கிறேன்.
மற்றும் நாளை திருவிழா
நாங்கள் தலைமை தாங்கினோம் என்று.
உனக்கு அதை பற்றி தெரியுமா?
அதை அவருக்கு கடுமையாகவும் அழகாகவும் கொடுங்கள்,
இந்த பையனின் விதி,
ஏன் இவ்வளவு வலி.
அவர் ஒரு சூரிய உதயத்தின் கவிஞர்,
மற்றும் அவர் எல்லா இடங்களிலும் குழந்தைகளுக்கு உதவுவார்
துஷ்பிரயோகம் செய்யப்படுவதிலிருந்து.

நாளை சந்திப்போம்,
என்று திருப்புவதும் முறுக்குவதும்.
ஒரு வித்தியாசம் இருப்பதை அவர் அறிவார்
அவனுடைய அம்மா அவனிடம் சொல்வதிலிருந்து
மற்றும் நான் என்ன செய்கிறேன்.
இது அவருக்கு நியாயமில்லை.
அவன் முகத்தைப் பார்க்க வேண்டும்.
ஒரு திறமையான குழந்தை பருவத்திலிருந்தே அதில் காயங்கள் உள்ளன
என்று புள்ளியில் உள்ளது
முழு கிரகமும் அதைப் பற்றி பேசியது.
ஹிரோஸ் பார்க்க வேண்டுமா?
இப்போது நீங்கள் உதவுவீர்களா?
தயவுசெய்து அவரைப் பார்க்க எனக்கு உதவுங்கள்.
அங்கு.

That You Compare

the photo of the Mother over my kitchen table

This poem has been published by Edge of Humanity Magazine: https://edgeofhumanity.com/2024/11/12/harms-end-blog-by-donny-lee-duke-that-you-compare/

ஆங்கிலப் பதிப்பிற்குப் பின் தமிழ் பதிப்பு.

No parent to you
in the chair means
that was not your cradle,
that was not your hold that baby sweetly,
that was not change his diaper,
that was not teach him to walk,
and that was not to show him the world for the first time,
and all the things in it that made him wonder and laugh
and cry when it hurt him.
You did not sooth that child
in the bottom years of his life,
those three years of Earth
when he rose into human being.
It is there we hold him
his parents say,and you have no right there
they tell me.

Is this all that’s wrong?
I have been his parent for life.
I came in
when that boy left his toddler years,
and I formed him
into the boy he is now,
formidable years,
the ones his two front teeth came out,
and the teeth there that I had him grow back
were not mean.
They were full of spiritual impulse,
and they formed his muse,
the poetry he writes from inner house,
and that is my job with him.
He is a poet to show the world
we have to change our way with children.

We have to make it right with them.
We have to give them ourselves
so they can be themselves.
We do not own them.
God does,
and is our job to help
them discover their soul’s purpose in life,
even if that is not
where we want them in our home.

This is the parent I am
to that boy,
and even if he never sees me again,
I have parented him there,
and that is in the bowels of the Earth,
and no amount of hatred and brainwashing
on his parents’ part
can remove that from his life.

Here on social media I have not called a name,
and I have not shown a face.
I have broken no rules of engagement,
and I want the world to see what you have done to this child,
just at that point in his life,
at the very second,
the body wills into adolescence,
and you have damaged him there,
ruined him,
and you will see this bear fruit.

I’m all over this with my arm,
and I know how to heal this boy.
Please step aside
and let it be done.
Put down your jealous egos
and let me save your child
from the hells and howevers
of being a sociopath.
I cannot state it more clearly.
Now you see it,
let me heal him.
நீங்கள் ஒப்பிடுகிறீர்கள் என்று
நீங்கள் அவரது பெற்றோர் அல்ல
நாற்காலியில் பொருள்
அது உன் தொட்டில் இல்லை
அது உன்னுடைய பிடி இல்லை, அந்த குழந்தையை இனிமையாக,
அது அவரது டயப்பரை மாற்றவில்லை,
அது அவனுக்கு நடக்க கற்றுக்கொடுக்கவில்லை.
அது அவருக்கு முதல் முறையாக உலகத்தைக் காட்டுவதற்காக அல்ல.
மேலும் அதில் உள்ள அனைத்து விஷயங்களும் அவரை வியக்கவும் சிரிக்கவும் வைத்தது
அது அவரை காயப்படுத்தும்போது அழவும்.
நீங்கள் அந்தக் குழந்தையை சமாதானப்படுத்தவில்லை
அவரது வாழ்க்கையின் கடைசி ஆண்டுகளில்,
பூமியின் அந்த மூன்று ஆண்டுகள்
அவர் மனிதனாக உயர்ந்த போது.
அங்குதான் அவரைப் பிடித்துக் கொள்கிறோம்
அங்குதான் அவரைப் பிடித்துக் கொள்கிறோம்
அவரது பெற்றோர் கூறுகிறார்கள்,
மேலும் உங்களுக்கு அங்கு உரிமை இல்லை
அவர்கள் என்னிடம் சொல்கிறார்கள்.

இது மட்டுமா இதில் தவறு?
நான் வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் அவருக்கு பெற்றோராக இருக்கிறேன்.
நான் உள்ளே வந்தேன்
அந்தச் சிறுவன் தன் குழந்தைப் பருவத்தை விட்டுச் சென்றபோது,
நான் அவனை உருவாக்கினேன்
அவன் இப்போது இருக்கும் சிறுவனாக,
வலிமையான ஆண்டுகள்,
அவருடைய இரண்டு முன் பற்கள் வெளியே வந்தவை,
நான் அவரிடம் இருந்த பற்கள் மீண்டும் வளரும்
அர்த்தமற்றவை அல்ல.
அவர்கள் ஆன்மீக தூண்டுதலால் நிறைந்திருந்தனர்,
அவர்கள் அவரது அருங்காட்சியகத்தை உருவாக்கினர்,
அவர் உள் வீட்டில் இருந்து எழுதும் கவிதை,
அது அவருடன் என் வேலை.
உலகைக் காட்டக் கவிஞன்
குழந்தைகளுடன் நம் வழியை மாற்ற வேண்டும்.

அவர்களுடன் நாம் அதை சரி செய்ய வேண்டும்.
அவர்களுக்கு நாமே கொடுக்க வேண்டும்
அதனால் அவர்கள் தாங்களாகவே இருக்க முடியும்.
அவை நமக்குச் சொந்தமில்லை.
கடவுள் செய்கிறார்,
மற்றும் உதவுவது எங்கள் வேலை
அவர்கள் வாழ்க்கையில் தங்கள் ஆன்மாவின் நோக்கத்தைக் கண்டுபிடிப்பார்கள்,
அது இல்லாவிட்டாலும்
எங்கள் வீட்டில் அவர்கள் எங்கே வேண்டும்.
நான் இத்தகைய பெற்றோர்
அந்த பையனுக்கு,
அவர் என்னை மீண்டும் பார்க்காவிட்டாலும்,
நான் அவரை நன்றாக பார்த்துக்கொண்டேன்,
அது பூமியின் குடலில் உள்ளது,
மற்றும் வெறுப்பு மற்றும் மூளைச்சலவை எந்த அளவு
அவரது பெற்றோரின் தரப்பில்
அதை அவனது வாழ்க்கையிலிருந்து நீக்க முடியும்.
இங்கே சமூக ஊடகங்களில் நான் பெயர் சொல்லவில்லை,
மேலும் நான் முகம் காட்டவில்லை.
ஏற்பாடுகளுக்கான‌ விதிகளை நான் மீறவில்லை,
இந்த குழந்தைக்கு நீங்கள் என்ன செய்தீர்கள் என்பதை உலகம் பார்க்க வேண்டும் என்று நான் விரும்புகிறேன்,
அவன் வாழ்வின் அந்த நேரத்தில்
இரண்டாவது நேரத்தில்,
உடல் இளமைப் பருவத்தில் விரும்புகிறது,
நீங்கள் அவரை அங்கே சேதப்படுத்தினீர்கள்,
அவனை அழித்து,
இதன் விளைவை நீங்கள் காண்பீர்கள்.

நான் என் கையால் இதையெல்லாம் முடித்துவிட்டேன்,
இந்த பையனை எப்படி குணப்படுத்துவது என்று எனக்கு தெரியும்.
தயவு செய்து ஒதுங்கவும்
அது நடக்கப்பெறட்டும்.
உங்கள் பொறாமை ஈகோக்களை கீழே போடுங்கள்
உங்கள் குழந்தையை நான் காப்பாற்றட்டும்
நரகத்தில் இருந்தும் மற்றும்‌ சமூக விரோதி களிடமிருந்தும்.
இதைவிட தெளிவாக என்னால் கூற முடியாது.
இப்போது நீங்கள் பாருங்கள்,
நான் அவனை குணமாக்க அனுமதியுங்கள்.

The Question of Nithish

For Nithish
it has to be longer than five minutes,
and no mother present.
What’s wrong with this?
It gives him room to breathe.
He can be himself again.
He doesn’t have to obey his parents.
He can see me freely and openly and clearly.
He can tell me anything he wants.
We can be together without any interference from anyone else.
We can be our special relationship.
I can explain things to him.
He can explain things to me.
He can tell me what he wants from me,
and how he feels about me,
and what he expects me to do.
We can be together again.

If you are looking for total control,
you’re not gonna get it,
Sandiya and Sundar.
He has needs that you are not meeting.
In not letting him see me
you’re only meeting your own.
Why are your needs so much more important than his?
You are offended that I threatened you with this and that.
I was genuinely hurt when Sandiya brought a policeman to put me in jail.
I have made no case or complaint against you.
I have merely tried to see Nithish,
because I know
he needs me too,
and to cut me out of his life like that,
because you were angry with me,
and allow no contact whatsoever,
has brutalized this boy,
broken his heart,
torn his mind,
and made him at times wish he were dead.
He cannot tell you these things.
There is not that level of trust there.
He cannot trust you not to beat him,
scold him,
or tell him how he should think and feel.
You are not on his side.
You are on yours.

I am a parent of this child.
Reality shows that not some legal piece of paper.
You disregard that like it’s nothing.
Take the time to view these videos,
and tell me I am a bad parent,
and I have nothing to give him
that is valuable for his future life.
I can give him things you cannot.
You can give him things that I can’t.
Why are you being so selfish about this boy?
Why do you want to own him so?
Is it a matter of pride?
He’s yours and you want him and that’s it?
Is it because I’m a foreigner,
and we are all devils?
Or is it because he loves me so,
as much as he loves you,
and you just can’t stand that?

What about his needs?
That’s what I’m talking about here,
and I’m showing you that I meet.
I have asked you for time alone with him,
so he and I can determine what we want.
Are you afraid he will put you in jail?
That’s not our intention or our aim.
We simply want to be together again,
and I’m asking for a first meeting
to allow that to happen,
slowly,
and with everybody’s goodwill,
not some final meeting where he’s forced to say goodbye,
and you have pumped him with what he should say,
and you are there guarding him so he will say it.
Are you sure you know right from wrong?
You are not being right here.

Let’s talk about the future Nithish.
You have broken his heart,
crushed the love of one of the most important people in his life,
made his mind think badly about me,
mean things,
and you expect him to be a decent person,
a good man?
You have killed love,
and you have killed his kindness,
and you have killed his compassion.
What can of man will he become?
A mean man.

What kind of boy is he now?
Is he disconfigured?
How easily does he become aggressive,
or angry?
Is he often rude?
Does he brood a lot?
Does he get lost in himself?
Where has the Nithish gone,
that not so perfect boy
before you took him?
He was not perfect but he was a good little boy,
kindhearted and understanding.
Now all the bad elements have taken over in him,
have they not?

I know you see a difference.
Look at his weight.
I’m sorry Sandiya he played outside here too.
You can see the videos.
He did not just sit around all the time.
So where did all that weight go?
He’s been very unhappy inside,
emotionally upset,
sick in his heart
and aggravated in his mind,
and the control you put on him,
to keep him away from me,
a boy just putting on his teenage wings,
is enough to make any boy mad.

Why are you doing all of this
I ask again.
Did he do anything wrong?
He loves a foreign man
and prefers that hand to raise him over yours.
That’s his great sin.
He needs you he needs me,
but he prefers the home that I give him,
and I think we’ve hit the soul of your anger.
You’re mad at him for that,
and you hate me for it.
So you punish him and you punish me,
with heartache and mental pain.
When will it stop?

It doesn’t stop.
Time only hides it,
and it not only haunts you for the rest of your life,
it makes you angry and mean,
bitter,
distrustful of the world
and of human relationship.
I am quoting human psychology.
You only know your gut-level reaction.
Can you grow up a little,
Sandiya, Sundar?
Can you meet the needs of your child
over your own?

Let us have a first meeting,
the boy and I,
our own private greeting,
and then we go from there.
It’s the human thing to do.
Do I need to ask if you are human?
Okay please let us begin,
at the Mother’s balcony.
Lidya can bring him.
We can talk a few minutes
in privacy,
and I can show him his new YouTube video,
and then she can bring him back.
Then we go from there,
like I said,
in heartbeats
Nithish.
Pardon the Tamil. I used Google Translate
நித்திஷின் கேள்வி

நிதிஷ் சார்பில்
இது ஐந்து நிமிடங்களுக்கு மேல் இருக்க வேண்டும்,
மற்றும் அம்மா இல்லை.
இதில் என்ன தவறு?
அது அவருக்கு சுவாசிக்க இடமளிக்கிறது.
அவர் மீண்டும் தானே ஆக முடியும்.
அவன் பெற்றோருக்குக் கீழ்ப்படிய வேண்டியதில்லை.
அவர் என்னை சுதந்திரமாகவும் வெளிப்படையாகவும் தெளிவாகவும் பார்க்க முடியும்.
அவர் என்ன வேண்டுமானாலும் என்னிடம் சொல்லலாம்.
யாருடைய குறுக்கீடும் இல்லாமல் நாம் ஒன்றாக இருக்க முடியும்.
நாங்கள் எங்கள் சிறப்பு உறவாக இருக்கலாம்.
நான் அவருக்கு விஷயங்களை விளக்க முடியும்.
அவர் எனக்கு விஷயங்களை விளக்க முடியும்.
அவர் என்னைப் பற்றி எப்படி உணருகிறார்,
நான் என்ன செய்ய வேண்டும் என்று அவர் எதிர்பார்க்கிறார்.
நாம் மீண்டும் ஒன்றாக இருக்கலாம்.

நீங்கள் முழு கட்டுப்பாட்டையும் தேடுகிறீர்கள் என்றால்,
நீங்கள் அதைப் பெற மாட்டீர்கள்,
சந்தியா மற்றும் சுந்தர்.
நீங்கள் சந்திக்காத தேவைகள் அவருக்கு உள்ளன.
என்னை பார்க்க விடாமல் செய்ததில்
நீங்கள் உங்கள் சொந்தத்தை மட்டுமே சந்திக்கிறீர்கள்.
அவரை விட உங்கள் தேவைகள் ஏன் மிகவும் முக்கியமானவை?
நான் உன்னை இப்படியும் அதையும் சொல்லி மிரட்டினேன் என்று கோபித்துக் கொண்டாய்.
சந்தியா என்னை சிறையில் அடைக்க ஒரு போலீஸ்காரரை அழைத்து வந்தபோது நான் உண்மையிலேயே காயப்பட்டேன்.
நான் உங்கள் மீது எந்த வழக்கும் புகாரும் செய்யவில்லை.
நான் நித்திஷைப் பார்க்க முயற்சித்தேன்.
ஏனென்றால் எனக்கு தெரியும்
அவனுக்கும் நான் தேவை
அதுபோல அவனுடைய வாழ்க்கையிலிருந்து என்னை நீக்கவும்,
நீ என் மீது கோபமாக இருந்ததால்,
மற்றும் எந்த தொடர்பும் வேண்டாம்
இந்த சிறுவனை கொடூரமாக கொன்றான்
அவரது இதயத்தை உடைத்து,
அவன் மனதை கிழித்து,
மேலும் சில சமயங்களில் அவர் இறந்துவிட்டதாக ஆசைப்பட வைத்தார்.
இந்த விஷயங்களை அவர் உங்களிடம் சொல்ல முடியாது.
அந்த அளவு நம்பிக்கை அங்கு இல்லை.
அவனை அடிக்காதே என்று உன்னை நம்ப முடியாது.
அவனை திட்டி,
அல்லது அவர் எப்படி நினைக்க வேண்டும் மற்றும் உணர வேண்டும் என்று சொல்லுங்கள்.
நீங்கள் அவர் பக்கம் இல்லை.
நீங்கள் உங்கள் மீது இருக்கிறீர்கள்.

நான் இந்தக் குழந்தையின் பெற்றோர்.
சில சட்டப்பூர்வ காகிதம் அல்ல என்பதை உண்மை காட்டுகிறது.
அது ஒன்றுமில்லை என்பது போல் நீங்கள் புறக்கணிக்கிறீர்கள்.
இந்த வீடியோக்களை பார்க்க நேரம் ஒதுக்குங்கள்,
நான் ஒரு மோசமான பெற்றோர் என்று சொல்லுங்கள்
மேலும் அவருக்கு கொடுக்க என்னிடம் எதுவும் இல்லை
அது அவரது எதிர்கால வாழ்க்கைக்கு மதிப்புமிக்கது.
உங்களால் முடியாததை என்னால் அவருக்கு கொடுக்க முடியும்.
என்னால் முடியாததை நீங்கள் அவருக்குக் கொடுக்கலாம்.
இந்த பையனிடம் ஏன் இவ்வளவு சுயநலமாக இருக்கிறீர்கள்?
நீ ஏன் அவனை இப்படி சொந்தமாக்க விரும்புகிறாய்?
பெருமைக்குரிய விஷயமா?
அவர் உங்களுடையவர், நீங்கள் அவரை விரும்புகிறீர்களா?
நான் வெளிநாட்டவர் என்பதனாலா,
நாம் அனைவரும் பிசாசுகளா?
அல்லது அவர் என்னை மிகவும் நேசிப்பதாலா?
அவர் உன்னை எவ்வளவு நேசிக்கிறார்,
மற்றும் உங்களால் தாங்க முடியவில்லையா?
அவரது தேவைகள் பற்றி என்ன?

அதைத்தான் நான் இங்கே பேசுகிறேன்,
நான் சந்திப்பதை உங்களுக்குக் காட்டுகிறேன்.
அவனுடன் தனியாக நேரம் கேட்டேன்.
அதனால் என்ன வேண்டும் என்பதை அவரும் நானும் தீர்மானிக்க முடியும்.
அவர் உங்களை சிறையில் அடைத்துவிடுவார் என்று பயப்படுகிறீர்களா?
அது எங்கள் நோக்கமோ நோக்கமோ அல்ல.
நாங்கள் மீண்டும் ஒன்றாக இருக்க விரும்புகிறோம்,
மற்றும் நான் முதல் சந்திப்பைக் கேட்கிறேன்
அது நடக்க அனுமதிக்க,
மெதுவாக,
மற்றும் அனைவரின் நல்லெண்ணத்துடன்,
அவர் விடைபெற வேண்டிய கட்டாயத்தில் இருக்கும் இறுதி சந்திப்பு அல்ல,
மேலும் அவர் என்ன சொல்ல வேண்டும் என்று நீங்கள் அவரைத் தூண்டினீர்கள்,
நீங்கள் அங்கே அவரைக் காத்துக்கொண்டிருக்கிறீர்கள், அதனால் அவர் அதைச் சொல்வார்.
சரி தவறா என்று உறுதியாக அறிவீர்களா?
நீங்கள் இங்கே சரியாக இருக்கவில்லை.

நித்திஷின் எதிர்காலத்தைப் பற்றி பேசலாம்.
நீங்கள் அவரது இதயத்தை உடைத்துவிட்டீர்கள்,
அவரது வாழ்க்கையில் மிக முக்கியமான நபர்களில் ஒருவரின் அன்பை நசுக்கினார்,
அவன் மனதை என்னை பற்றி தவறாக நினைக்க வைத்தது
பொருள்,
அவர் ஒரு ஒழுக்கமான நபராக இருக்க வேண்டும் என்று நீங்கள் எதிர்பார்க்கிறீர்கள்,
நல்ல மனிதனா?
காதலை கொன்றாய்,
நீங்கள் அவருடைய இரக்கத்தைக் கொன்றுவிட்டீர்கள்,
நீங்கள் அவருடைய இரக்கத்தைக் கொன்றுவிட்டீர்கள்.
அவன் என்ன மனிதனாக ஆவான்?
ஒரு சராசரி மனிதன்.

இப்போது எப்படிப்பட்ட பையன்?
அவர் சிதைந்துவிட்டாரா?
அவர் எவ்வளவு எளிதாக ஆக்ரோஷமாக மாறுகிறார்
அல்லது கோபமா?
அவர் அடிக்கடி முரட்டுத்தனமாக இருக்கிறாரா?
அவர் நிறைய அடைகாக்கிறாரா?
தனக்குள்ளேயே தொலைந்து விடுகிறாரா?
நிதீஷ் எங்கே போனார்?
அவ்வளவு சரியான பையன் இல்லை
நீங்கள் அவரை அழைத்துச் செல்வதற்கு முன்?
அவர் சரியானவர் அல்ல, ஆனால் அவர் ஒரு நல்ல சிறு பையன்,
அன்பான மற்றும் புரிதல்.
இப்போது அனைத்து கெட்ட கூறுகளும் அவருக்குள் ஆக்கிரமித்துள்ளன,
இல்லையா?

நீங்கள் ஒரு வித்தியாசத்தைப் பார்க்கிறீர்கள் என்று எனக்குத் தெரியும்.
அவருடைய எடையைப் பாருங்கள்.
சந்தியா இங்கேயும் வெளியில் விளையாடியதற்கு மன்னிக்கவும்.
நீங்கள் வீடியோக்களைப் பார்க்கலாம்.
அவர் எல்லா நேரமும் சும்மா உட்கார்ந்திருக்கவில்லை.

அப்படியானால் அந்த எடை எல்லாம் எங்கே போனது?
அவர் உள்ளே மிகவும் மகிழ்ச்சியற்றவராக இருந்தார்,
உணர்ச்சிவசப்பட்டு,
அவரது இதயத்தில் உடம்பு
மற்றும் அவரது மனதில் மோசமாகி,
நீங்கள் அவர் மீது வைத்திருக்கும் கட்டுப்பாடு,
அவனை என்னிடமிருந்து விலக்கி வைக்க,
ஒரு சிறுவன் தனது டீனேஜ் இறக்கைகளை அணிந்து கொண்டான்,
எந்த பையனையும் பைத்தியமாக்க போதும்.

ஏன் இப்படியெல்லாம் செய்கிறீர்கள்
மீண்டும் கேட்கிறேன்.
அவர் ஏதாவது தவறு செய்தாரா?
அவர் ஒரு வெளிநாட்டு மனிதனை காதலிக்கிறார்
உங்கள் கையை விட அவரை உயர்த்த அந்த கையை விரும்புகிறது.
அது அவருடைய பெரிய பாவம்.
அவனுக்கு நீ வேண்டும் அவனுக்கு நான் வேண்டும்
ஆனால் நான் கொடுக்கும் வீட்டை அவர் விரும்புகிறார்.
உங்கள் கோபத்தின் ஆன்மாவை நாங்கள் தாக்கியுள்ளோம் என்று நினைக்கிறேன்.
அதற்காக நீங்கள் அவர் மீது கோபமாக இருக்கிறீர்கள்,
அதற்காக நீங்கள் என்னை வெறுக்கிறீர்கள்.
எனவே நீங்கள் அவரை தண்டிக்கிறீர்கள், என்னையும் தண்டிக்கிறீர்கள்.
இதய வலி மற்றும் மன வலியுடன்.
அது எப்போது நிறுத்தப்படும்?


அது நிற்காது.
காலம் அதை மட்டும் மறைக்கிறது
அது உங்கள் வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் உங்களைத் துன்புறுத்துவது மட்டுமல்ல,
இது உங்களை கோபமாகவும், அர்த்தமாகவும் ஆக்குகிறது
கசப்பான,
உலகின் மீது அவநம்பிக்கை
மற்றும் மனித உறவு.
நான் மனித உளவியலை மேற்கோள் காட்டுகிறேன்.
உங்கள் குடல் நிலை எதிர்வினை மட்டுமே உங்களுக்குத் தெரியும்.
கொஞ்சம் வளர முடியுமா,
சந்தியா, சுந்தர்?
உங்கள் குழந்தையின் தேவைகளைப் பூர்த்தி செய்ய முடியுமா?
உங்கள் சொந்த மேல்?

முதல் சந்திப்பை நடத்துவோம்,
பையனும் நானும்,
எங்கள் சொந்த தனிப்பட்ட வாழ்த்துக்கள்,
பின்னர் நாங்கள் அங்கிருந்து செல்கிறோம்.
இது மனித காரியம்.
நீங்கள் மனிதரா என்று நான் கேட்க வேண்டுமா?
சரி தயவு செய்து ஆரம்பிக்கலாம்,
அம்மாவின் பால்கனியில்.
லித்யா அவனை அழைத்து வரலாம்.
சில நிமிடங்கள் பேசலாம்
தனியுரிமையில்,
அவருடைய புதிய யூடியூப் வீடியோவை என்னால் அவருக்குக் காட்ட முடியும்,
பின்னர் அவள் அவனை திரும்ப அழைத்து வரலாம்.
பின்னர் நாங்கள் அங்கிருந்து செல்கிறோம்,
நான் கூறியது போல,
இதயத் துடிப்பில்
நித்திஷ்.

Edge of the Game

Nithish’s new video for his YouTube channel

In this poem, written from inner spiritual vision, meaning the lines were spoken to him on the inside, one by one, and I recorded them for him on my voice recorder where I record my own muse, Nithish is speaking to his future self, giving himself help about a tragedy that came to pass on March 12th, when he was taken from me. We’re not allowed visits, phone calls, and no one can give him my messages. They took him because they got mad at me. He’s had a negative personality change, and his spiritual vision has been replaced by nightmares.

Like dream, spiritual vision has vision of the future, and this poem will bear that out if you take the time to listen to it. As art and poetry, it will take more than one viewing to understand in its complexity, where, in each frame, there are layers of meaning, what is happening in the video itself, entertaining enough, and the poem superimposed on that, with occasional visions the boy had while the lines were spoken to him being presented in a ticker tape fashion at the bottom of the screen.

It’s actually a miracle and is a real example of soul healing, in this case his soul speaking to him now from the past. The video is now being viewed by the boy and those around him (or will be shortly), including his parents, and the divine muse of poetry, having knowledge of the future, knew when the video would be made and posted, at just the right time in the ‘death’ of the boy to bring him back to life, soul, and God.

“The Samadhi of the Gods is in my heart” means his spirituality is forbidden. His parents scorn his poetry, and he can’t follow the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. “I don’t like biryani I like burger.” He likes things American, which his parents don’t like. “I ask where is my dog,” his Beagle puppy, Grace, who he lost too. He lost all his dogs.

“Look back and you’ll get out” means that if he remembers what it was like living with me, looks back on those times, he’ll get out of school, school here meaning the school he is at home, school being a symbol for a child’s life lessons, whether they take place at home or at the institution of school. The whole poem is so he will remember what he’s forgotten under his parents’ intense psychological manipulation, where he lost himself. In this poem, which he wrote from his past to his future self, he’s trying to get his ‘dead’ self to see he needs to see who he really is.

“Bamboo sticks they use it to beat children in the school / and they use it to make sugar in the factory.” School is a symbol where he learns his lessons in life, both at home and school as an institution, as I’ve explained above. “Well, next time bad spirits of school Nazis,” meaning the extreme control his parents have used in this present situation, not the first abusive situation he’s been in with them, to get him to stop wanting me.

”Why is ice on fire on earth?” Our relationship has been put on ice but is aflame. “Gutter door is open. / Play along for awhile.” He did what his parents wanted and told people what they told him to say, “I’m okay with it,” but they can’t get him to tell me that. “Hold onto them with your breath, / knowers or brewers. / Mr. NoMore is out of town. He’s still holding onto to me, but his parents are telling him I’m a beggar, and I only want him to take care of me in my old age, and of course I’m Mr. NoMore.

The last lines mean that I recorded it all in my own muse and predicts that his story of childhood trauma will make a big difference in the world. The rap at the end, also muse and prevision, is a short synopsis of the bad situation he fell into when his parents took him from me. At that time he was listening to BoyWithUke.

Social consciousness we’re exploring here. This little boy’s showing it to you in the society he has with me. You don’t believe that we we share consciousness with each other. Here’s a poem that will show not only that, but that you can talk to your future self about that society you live in. An 11-yr-old boy wrote this, with an incredibly superior opening of the inner consciousness, magnetic, the very thing that you need to see so we can survive on this planet. In a spiritual emergency, you can write a poem in the inner consciousness to your future self, as this boy has done. He’s important to the world. You can count on one hand the number of kids that can do this in all the world.

Do you want this dead in him? It is right now. His parents have killed it. You’d call me a dirty old man because I want to see him so insistently, but your stereotype is wrong. I opened this boy’s consciousness, and we openly share consciousness together. We can prove this miracle. This is not the only poem of ours that shows it, because in poetry writing, in union with me he does it, and to have been torn asunder like this has caused our very souls to reach out for one another, and what else in him could have written this poem but his soul. Social consciousness, the first example.

Edge of the Game
(Written October 2023)
Samadhi of the Gods is in my heart
water drops.
Like any other kid’s life my life is complicated.
I don’t praise my parents I praise the Mother.
Hot Wheels on the road,
Boss Baby here.

Hah, I’m athlete, don’t fight me.
Sticker bushes in the sky,
clouds in the ground,
study abroad or study up rod,
my life is not stolen it’s in the safe.
Don’t you laugh at me for a little blah blah.

I’m like a marshmallow.
Can I really look handsome?
Sinkin’ through space,
Gandhi said you are a race.
[two above lines heard sung]
I don’t like biryani I like burger.
I don’t vote Modi but I very much do hear melody.
Garage of the forage,
call me Mr. Poppins.

(I have a vision of laying wounded in a bedroom in a white bed. The Mother and Sri Aurobindo are near me and start meditating when I wake up, and I start meditating with them. When I start meditating with them, they give me a power stroke to say what’s going on, like by the power, like I know everything. I was told I could talk to them anytime I wanted, but I have to snap into my supermental body because my physical body is here on earth but my supermental body is with them. Then I ask the Mother for a poem to get out of school, and she says the line below)
Look back and you’ll get out.

I’m thinking about leaving.
The ancient realm is alive.
Fate decides you,
(vision of General Iroh telling me the above line
in a Fire Nation ship in a vision
)
what kind of man you become.
Rebuild the evolving species,
hashtag flying away.

Earn money for doomsday,
it’s in the eight sector.
Betrayal is not good for God.
Organize the pieces
you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Dive deep under the water
without a swimsuit
you’ll see the glowin’ star.
I see my dogs
in the garden with the Mother and Sri Aurobindo.

I’m a part of the lily pond.
Everything is reversed here.
Pepsi or Coke a Cola I don’t know.
Pepsi not for sure.
It’s pizza time at the lake.

I shaved air.
I’m a hill climber.
Peacocks look at me weird.
Do they see the shining sun?
They have the magical eye.
It’s easy for them to see me.
I’m in the wild with them.
I ask where is my dog.
In the jungle I say.
Why can’t it be in the plains,
can’t it be in the house,
can’t it be in the water,
can’t it be in the hills,
can’t it be in the hill climbers?

Sure do hill climbers climb that mountain.
Well, I’ll fly to that mountain.
I have the God’s eye.
Maybe I can see the angel on top of you,
because behind me
it’s an organization
assembled by the Gods
and the God Himself.

School is such a pain in the ass.
That’s where I get my boils from.
School doesn’t pop it.
My house pops it.
Bamboo sticks they use it to beat children in the school
and they use it to make sugar in the factory.
Well you sure are making a way for the demons.
Show me the certificate if you’re gonna hit a child.
I’m going to God to talk about this.
Well, next time bad spirits of school Nazis.

Please don’t hit my kind.
You’re all a unified mind.
Rhythm is not for music it’s for poets.
I sure do use a lot.
Why is ice on fire in Earth?
It’s sure not like that in the spirit realm.
I’ve visited that place.

Walk with honor.
The ball’s in your court.
Lay down the law.
It’s not an opinion.
It’s the whole world.
Free angels in your mind.
I’ve stopped drinking coffee,
but I’ve moved on.
It’s one or another.
Soon he’s gonna get married.
Everyone should learn to smile.

Gutter door is open.
Play along for awhile.
Treat yourself.
Spirits go away.
Hold onto them with your breath,
knowers or brewers.
Mr. NoMore is out of town.

Lily ponds are as beautiful as our inner.
Record my fame for history.
Business talks are not for me.
Boy of the Northern Kingdom is about to wake up the whole world.

I fell out of my place for nothing to eat for I hit the ground sooo hard it hurt my life a little too far I cannot take it. I cannot carve through this mountain of lives. I am not so fine. The trauma I experienced in childhood I can blame it all on school, school, school, school, school. school. I am not a rapper. I’m a taper. I tape my life. The wounds can heal. My muscles can grow. My life can be a Christmas gift.

I Give You Sandiya

Get her to speak with me.
Ger her to understand
her fear of losing Nithish
makes her abuse Nithish.
She says she’s stopped beating him?
It’s not a conscious choice she makes.
She gets angry
and loses control of herself
and beats him.
It’s her character.
He will tell that.

Now, about abuse:
she will not let him see me,
even for a short visit,
so to abuse him for preferring me over her.
Yes momma I’m happy with you.
What he’s really saying:
yes momma I’m scared of you.
Why won’t he mention daddy?
Why won’t he fight for the right to see daddy?

I cannot speak of him
in front of you,
and I’m on his side.
You don’t understand I cannot speak.
The fear of you is so big inside,
the fear of you mother,
who has beat me, slapped me, brainwashed me
for these past two months,
so much so I cannot even speak,
physically cannot speak,
on daddy’s side
in front of you.
I am too scared of you.

Now Sandiya is this my muse talking or is this Nithish?
Are you hiding from yourself the truth?
Nithish loves you but prefers to be with me.
Nithish is happy with me.
He is not very happy with you.
Nithish wants to live with me
and visit you.
These things are facts
in that boy’s mind and heart,
and stop lying to yourself about it.
He feels that way.

When you make him speak against his will,
you smother his identity and abuse him.
Abuse is more than the hit of a hand
or the handle of a genital.
It’s forcing that child to do things against his will.
It’s suppressing him own identity.
It’s not letting him be who he is.
It’s making him be who you want him to be.
You are so self-satisfied,
so sure you have his loyalty,
but when you kept him from even greeting me,
after two months of such emotional torment,
his and mine,
you crossed the line.
He will tell on you now.
Wait and see.

But why does it have to come to that?
Can you just put a stop to your hate and desire for revenge?
Can you consider the welfare of your child
more than you needing your child?
Can you do what’s best for Nithish?
You know that is seeing and being with me.

It doesn’t mean he’s not with you.
It just means your fantasy that he’s your baby is not true.
He’s his own self
and is too big to be someone’s baby.
I am a man,
and at his age,
he identifies with more with males.

His father has been a weekend dad all his life.
I have been with that boy hundreds of days more than his father,
and whatever you say about the boys I’ve raised,
Sundar is a murderer.
He has killed at least four people my advocate told me.
What a role model for Nithish,
and now he’s using his gang
to threaten Asiya,
to beat him up or even kill him,
and you yourself Sandiya are giving that threat.
What business is this for good parents?
That is evil and you know it.
Asiya did not hurt you,
did not give you heart pain or grief,
only helped me to ease mine,
to do the right thing
and help Nithish and I see each other,
and you know that is good and proper in God’s eyes.

Can I show you a hidden example?
A mutual friend Sudhan,
you gave him a story to give to me.
Call up daddy.
Tell him you went in my house for a drink of water.
Nithish was there alone.
Tell him you asked Nithish about daddy.
Nithish said I only love my mother,
and I don’t care about anything else,
a blatant big lie,
a spinning web of psychological manipulation.
Now Sudhan told me you had him do this to me.
Imagine what you are doing to Nithish.
This is just one example.
When this is over,
people will come forward with more.
You’re being evil Sandiya,
just evil.

You are willfully being bad,
as bad as you can to me,
for reasons I don’t clearly understand.
You would kill me if you could get away with it.
That’s how much you hate me.
Is it at bottom
really because
Nithish prefers me
to you?
Is that the reason for all this hate?

Now pull him up on the carpet.
Ask him to reassure you again
how much he loves you.
How many times have you done that?
Do you chose me over daddy, do you chose me over daddy,
do you chose me over daddy?
He’s very afraid of you.
He will tell you whatever you want to hear,
because he’s scared of you,
not because he loves you.
You say if he spent time with me away from you
he would change his mind.
What does that mean?
He would realize how he truly feels,
and you are scared of that?
You are not secure in his loyalty to you,
are you?

In the eyes of God,
please,
allow Nithish and I to see each other without your interference,
just for a short time the first time.
Then we can go from there,
and we can make peace again in our family
for the children’s sake.
It’s up to you Sandiya.
It’s your decision.
You hold the power
for now.
Will you do what’s right?

Hear a dog’s life.
We question Nithish.
He’s on the short end of the stick at home,
the author of all these Facebook problems.
He’s in trouble.
He suffers so much for loving me.
His mother ruins him for it.
What can I do but cry?

Okay I have the strength of poetry,
and I’m using it for Nithish.
You think I’m stupid,
a fool,
just some crazy old man?
I love my boy,
and if it comes to that
I will lay down my life for him
to get him the help he needs.

He’s lost so much weight.
He looks hollow and empty inside
by the look on his face.
I hear his behavior is erratic.
He’s volatile and tells lots of lies.
He’s not sure of himself.
A personality change has occurred
since he was taken from my home
a happy and plump little boy.
The mother is ignoring this,
his state,
his rapid deterioration.

To anyone that confronts her
about letting the boy see me,
she’s flies off the handle
and screams at them to stay out of it,
even to close relatives.
That’s the mother he has.
Now that’s Sandiya.
Can you please help?