redemption – Harm's End

photo by the author, a chalkboard at the entrance to an Auroville middle school

Boxed in the corner,
I hear You call my name.
I last.
I play the game.
I know how to handle time.
There’s a secret to it.
Open yourself to the Invisible.
Hold yourself on the inside and see the outside.
Don’t just stand there and swim.
Mount time
the stadium you wear.
Don’t be bashful about it.
Don’t overrate yourself.
Stand up and spell time the way you wear it.
Give the voice to the ages.
You want to be so sincere
you spelled time for everyone.

It can be in a broom closet,
but you’ve made that closet sing.
I’ve been in dens of iniquity,
and I found the price of the world that way.
I found out how much we cost
hurtin’ people.
They wore the boundaries me.
They were the hope that carried the world,
and I just cried my eyes out when I discovered that.
Can you embarrass God?
I think I did.

Then I opened inside myself time
and discovered its secrets.
I had damaged time,
and it didn’t punish me with it.
The way of redemption is forceful and slow,
but you can ride upon its back
if you find redemption’s base:
I am trouble I am,
and that is a whirlwind,
and I turn that whirlwind upon myself,
and I open time and fate upon myself,
to rack the tools up in inner man
to overcome evil with good
I’ve paid for myself.

It happened,
and I grab you by the hand and show you
inner healing’s ways.
We are not an accident,
and we are bigger than the wrong we have done,
and you are bigger than having it done to you.
We get trapped in these ways,
and we make reality existence
either hurting or being hurt,
the clash of right and wrong.

How this fools us into little lives
that can’t see past their own noses,
and we make everything a sin,
or we are trying to get to sin.
How many can let a child play with themselves
and stay out of it?
Why you want to stop them or join in.
Fuck let’s cut that asunder
and just stay out of it.
Fuck, you can stay here,
or you can allow language to get a little tight
to come into these narrow straits of time.
It’s difficult
to go past your moral boundaries,
and the world needs to be saved,
and our existence depends up it.

Children need to play with themselves,
and men and women need to heal from sin,
not punished,
not beaten,
not be made outcast.
You cannot stop evil you can only heal it,
and that changes it into something else.
We can heal together.
We can find the weapons to do that.
It’s much deeper than a doctor’s office,
deeper than a psychiatry chair,
deeper than a religious conversion
and any form of prayer.

We have to turn inside out.
We have to get to the bottom of things.
We have to open our consciousness and get in there to the secret stuff. /
We have to get clean,
not from sin,
from even the desire to hurt and harm.
We have to look at each other
and know we are more than any me.
We have to find the secret Inhabitant
that sees out both our eyes,
and we both see together
that we are one through that gaze.

Man this is reality,
who we need to see to survive,
and it’s how we heal
from hurting people
and being hurt,
but you have to arrive there
not just in belief.
It’s to see that Look.
We wear time.
It doesn’t bury us.
It’s not our keeper.
It’s not who we are.

The phenomenon is just a wonderful in the All-Look’s gaze.
Wonderful we see that,
and wonderful we see each other,
and a panda is to us the moon
and a dog the starry sky.
Can you get there?
All life has Eyes,
and oh the splash of healing there,
phenomenal.

Do you want to understand?
I can give you all I’ve got.
That’s the music in me.
You have to be wide enough to take it
and not stand in its way.
We need to heal time,
and are you gonna block that?

Oh look at that swing behind the throw up.
It’s how you reach enlightenment my dears.
Believe it or not a swing shows up in dreams
when you approach it.
It’s a force that takes you like the spiral,
and you literally swing.
How about that habitat?
Nothing can get in the way.
You’ve got to swing all the way there.
Your life will proportion this out to you.
You get closer,
and you move further away,
swinging back and forth
until you get high enough to arrive.

Do you see how tall you are?
The symbol of dream has shown you up close
your waking life approach,
time’s secret
here I’ve shown to you.
If you do anything,
habitat this truth when it comes out.

Am I allowed to continue?
Why thank you I appreciate that.
The little swing of enlightenment people,
how we tell time what we are.

feature image by Dhina on the occasion of my 61th birthday this year

A tale like you wanna know. [vision of the title being introduced like a movie is on TV or at the movies, it appearing in the center of the screen, the line sounding, and this line sounding as the vision faded]
Put spiritual in there.
I’m talking to a Dumbledorf:
who are you friend who almost had him killed?
How exceedingly lovely.
I don’t blame him.
He looks different
Dombledorf.
He looks connected.
There might be. [vision of a small otter-human-like creature’s head coming up out of a small square pool of water and looking up at me and saying the line, the pool the irrigation tank where Nitish swims but not in the location it actually is]

The answer’s not complete.
Tryin’ to help.
I feel so inadequate at the task.
I just sit here and write.
We would reach in and pull sincerity out,
but I’m at a halt in myself,
and I don’t know where to begin.
I can’t capture this page.
I can only tell you what it says.
We are mountains from molehills.
I’ve done things with your memory
all the while holding sincerity in my hand.
I think I’ve lifted the curtain of existence
and shown you what’s inside.
I revealed my room.
A lot goes on there.
And the world is in my room
staring at me.
I can’t put it down.
Where would I be without you?
And I can’t get at that you.
When I meet you on the street
you’re just another person to me.

I glow with this,
hold you around
the feelings of my mind
that we may meet.
Death do us in.
I can’t champion this.
I hold you in my arms and cry
when you press too hard against me
with a sad story of yours
I’ve encountered through public media.
I don’t know how to make you go away.
I feel the group like it’s my own soul,
yet you banish me and call me names.
I don’t know what to do with this.
It hurts,
and I don’t think there are ears in your heart.
I spend myself on them.

I think we’ve gone beyond good and evil.
I think we’re just human beings here.
Can you tell me how to get along
with you
and still be myself?
I don’t know how to make you feel what I feel.
I can’t take my heart out and show it to you.
I pull words outta my heart,
and you can’t see the symbol
for the words.
I’m a dead delivery.
I’d like to smile,
having your social hand,
but you won’t give it to me.
Where do I find you
in disease?
I don’t have to wait long.
You would spit in my eye
if I came too close,
and I mean so well for you.

I was taken down.
I looked at him.
The idea
I think he’s beauty with
is feelin’ the whole.
I come to read him.
I find solace here.
I’m taken to the top of myself.
I see and understand I have depths.
I would just like him to be alive,
continue writing verse.
He means something to me.
He’s a wild space in the world yet
that hasn’t been taken out.
He does not kiss ass.
We don’t want to see him get in trouble.
He is right there in our taboos
a guiding light.
You don’t know strange men.
They will test your boundaries.
They are not a shake off.
They come to see you definitely.

These questions,
they’re for answers.
We don’t ask them just to say please.
They’re all around us now,
ardently studying who we are.
I’m a voice in that multitude.
I could get better answers.
I fought with meaning
to break it open,
and the world fell into place.
I grapple with it now.
I mean I hold it in my hands and sing to it
the poetry of the school.
This is beyond answers.
It’s just basking with you
in the warm sunshine of our being.
It’s weird to be alive.
There’s so much that shines on my nose.
You know what I mean.
I could run amuck
plucking at things,
just bein’ led by the nose.
Symbol imagery,
I mean the world with that,
and I’m stupid.
I show you myself too much,
but that’s what makes vulnerable
the strength that it is.
You trust me.

I’m happily
so much more than show business.
I reveal things to you.
They come from the sky.
I hold them in my hand and paint this page with them.
The moonlight of their starshine glows iridescent.
I spend them
in hours of verse.
It looks like we have another day.

I’m selfish.
Get out of your closet.
Tell us everything.
Gave the world a black eye did yah?
Bring your wife and kids.
Come with me now.
I sit at risk,
write a ledger of emergency.
I’m trying to show the way out.
Will you join me?
No confessions for this place please.
You don’t tell the cops what you did.
We will not ask the law to get us.
We want to overcome the law,
so it’s not rigid it’s human.

How do you know they’re not here?
They’re gonna work with him,
unfortunate souls
that need a time out.
You can do this in your living room.
Where are you?
I was just in that kitchen spot,
tryin’ to collect
all the ears that help you outta this.
Let me be your emotional man.
Let me find the way out.
Even the cigarette
a lot of the times
light up the temple.

You’re kidding me.
You would go to bat for me?
You would show me the way out?
Aren’t you a confession machine?
Wouldn’t you tell on me
and limit the ways I trust you?
You’re just not smart.
You expose yourself.
My existence
depends on me.
Can you tell me society cares?
I’m just a target.
No, no, don’t go back there.
Come out and breathe awhile
clean air.
Don’t you wanna feel good?

Some kid came daddy
and rode me monster.
I don’t understand.
This is a social dilemma.
Can we handle being people?
Where’s the living room?
Is it full of vice and TV?
What’s got you fascinated?
I don’t know how to show you this.
You gotta get outta that.

Alright,
he’s just not a problem
you understand.
Until you understand him you can’t do anything with him.
Even my problem,
we go awhile with each other.
We learn the lampoon
sticks out.
How do we stick this in chocolate?
We fold ourselves.
We learn to let go of the spoon.
We challenge ourselves
with bright horizons.
You come together
on the role you need to play
who is behind you.
Can you see an island?
Challenge yourself with more than yourself.

Study your room.
It will take you there.
It’s hitting me.
To turn around,
made a turn.
I got outta cars.
I stopped doing bullshit.
How does this happen in science?
We need to see our disease,
and then
get going.
It’s 10 a.m.

We need to apply pressure to the program.
Can you representative breathe?
You can have it,
lunch treatment.
It’s always good for you.
Are you sure you know yourself?
Do you know you’re real?
An actor,
that’s just the part that says hello,
drive basically.
It’s who you think you are.
Is the wonder at coyote?
Is the world not real?
That’s somebody to get hurt.
You need to tell them you’re sorry.
Put it on the difficulty what had me.
Buckle up,
honey any moment now you’re to get theft or hurted.
We’re just not here.
We’ll levity rehearse. [vision of three or four black and white photographs I couldn’t make out, the last one I could, one of a girl of indeterminate age in a white ballet tutu on a stage doing an exaggerated curtsy]
Don’t rob yourself with identity.
You are not you.
You’re a field in a play.
You get along you understand.
That taller You
you’ll find one day.

She doesn’t care.
She’s a dysfunctional human being.
Don’t equate her with your room.
Be a baby unto your room.
How are you?
It was more about Joe than the rest of us realize.
You’re free to discuss this.
You’re free to dance.
You are as important as the President
in the inward bowels of ourselves.
You are a process dip
into forever.
You make it happen,
the representative figure you are.
You’re changin’ lives
by ever bein’ yourself.
You’re gettin’ bigger all the time
if you reach in and find yourself
not the author of the program.

My God this world has ways in it.
It’s mind-boggling.
This should keep you busy
for a lifetime.
Okay stop
putting your identity on your name,
on that little figure you are,
and understand your importance in the scheme.
I went downstairs and I told him
play.
David actually feels like somebody,
but way was he tryin’.
Somehow this triangle has evolved
from multiple scores.
You are not who you are,
but you’re more than that.
You blindfold wisdom
and chop it in half.
I wanna explain to you all
none of this is happening.
Do you see the horror?

You see the relationship.
You’re a salt on the Void
to bring out its something.
You’re doing nothing but complaining.
Don’t complain.
We’re high animals.
We’ve got this world goin’.
It’s our livelihood.
We hate everything.
It’s not that bad.
It’s quite good actually.
We’re here,
and we’re alive.
Okay we ain’t free.
We can’t have everything.
but everything’s coming.
We just have to land first.
We can manage from here.
It’s got Goldilocks on it,
until we find the horses
that put on planet right.

Hey dude I want yah to know out your brains I’m gonna blow.
We’re just forlorn that’s all.
Winter’s comin’,
and we need to be prepared.
We’re a little nuclear holocaust here,
a little nuclear holocaust there,
but nothin’ gets us outta the way.
We retain civilization.
Any homeland,
any way of raisin’ children,
we’re gonna have to come to the dice
and end up eliminatin’ all of them.
The better way of bein’ human,
it ain’t out yet.
I’m tryin’ to tell you
what’s goin’ on,
but you’ve climate changed my answers,
and they don’t get to the public.
I’ve got a whole host of answers,
the nitty-gritty college details of existence
to help you survive.
I won’t be here.
This is a future log.
I’ll see you later.

Fascinating,
I think you just said the peace.
Could it be the color of my skin
the audience is a thimbleful?
Where’s that little Seventh Manager
welcome spectacular?
Don’t look now,
They’ve got a buffalo for yah.
The Gods must be crazy.
Mother you with this?
The stairway’s there.
You have the purple stairwell.
Turn those shoes;
let Me turn them,
the stairwell’s up.
Ride handsomely.
That’s a wrap up
with my own medicine.

Harm's End

Tag: redemption

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