The body of trans auto-mania
piss you off.
It’s just super cool
to take your gender off.
They suffer for this.
I am a man goddamn it,
and here my body’s female.
I can’t grab my own balls.
I don’t know what to do with myself.
I’m ugly in the mirror.
I don’t fit.
This hurts.
It’s all I can see.
I live with this
everyday.
I can’t surmount it.
It’s got me by the balls.

So I’m transgender,
and I have this wonderful surgery
to make me a man.
It really feels good
to take my gender off.
Low and behold I’m a man!
I’m now right with myself.
I can see the world that way.
Everything’s alright with the sun.
There’s just this little stickler in the program:
I’m still a woman.
I can’t get up in the morning
without remembering who my body was.
I kill my dead name,
and I still respond to it.

I thought I was gonna be happy,
really fulfilled.
I tell the press I am.
I’m still confused inside.
This didn’t do the trick.
It just took my face off.
I don’t know how much I regret my new situation.
I kinda like my new dick,
but this just didn’t satisfy, you know?

I’m in gender dysphoria.
I think that’s the word these days.
I can’t get over it.
Gender is a thing of the past.
It’s not biologically made.
It’s not who we are.
I decide what I’m gonna be.
Gender’s what I say I am,
and it’s fluid all damn night,
and it’s green.
I have to get my dick cut off to be happy
or make my vagina out of one,
and that is the secret formula
for wholeness and wellness of being
I’ve told myself that a million times.

It never sticks,
but you know,
it feels good to be different.
I’ve revealed myself.
I’ve taken society by the horns,
and I have said you do not determine me.
Now, where do we go with this?
I’m on the same side I was.
Happiness did not come
from the scalpel and knife.
I still suffer.
I don’t know who I am.
I don’t know out of this.
It’s not what I thought it would be,
all bliss and honeymoon.

Oh man there is a deeper life.
It’s right there at your edges.
You have so much more to you
than gender.
You are a pilot inside.
This is where you take yourself.
You’re looking for fulfillment.
You find the road ahead.
It’s got spiritual on it,
in that it’s deeper than life’s ways.
You go beyond yourself.
You get bigger than you.
There are states inside
that show you this.
It’s a consciousness change.
It brings you out of yourself.
It’s as natural and as right as rain.
It doesn’t boil you over.
It’s where you’re going with this,
your humanity.

It’s not a made-up lie.
You will find it on the inside
if you look
with open questions
and the knowledge of the seeker
who fervently knocks on doors.
It’s been lost to humanity
by and large,
translated as religion
around the world.
These are not beliefs you grow into.
Your spirituality is you,
and you get deeper every day.
The sun rise in you
it begins to dawn in you.

Now you’re sittin’ in the road
of you feel good about yourself.
It’s not fake anymore.
It’s the real McCoy.
It can’t be duplicated
by gender fuck you.
It can’t be duplicated
by a reliance on the machine.
It is so different,
who you are,
than you figured it was going to be.

Gender was not what I thought it was.
There’s a principle there masculine and feminine.
We would call them forces of nature.
It’s got a lot of glow.
It would determine society.
It would be a division we are.
We’ve been divided in two,
so our babies don’t kill each other
any more than they do.
So we have to have a plan to elope.
They have to come together,
the divided forces,
to make offspring,
and that makes us.
It was designed that way,
so we could have peach on earth
in our kitchens.

The lie is this:
you are a man,
or a woman,
and that’s that.
You are both you see.
The woman you long for,
the one you wanna be,
man in gender dysphoria,
is not about a knife,
cutting your balls off.
You be that woman inside
that’s fine.
It’s a principle you’re enhancin’,
but you still let that man glow.
You come to a balance in yourself,
express which gender suits you
in any given moment of life.
Which one you push more to the front
in that moment,
and which one lays back,
this is wholeness.
Don’t cut yourself off.

Gender dysphoria,
it’s a book.
It’s a fad.
It transpires,
but you don’t reject yourself.
You see what you are.
The confusion’s on the table.
It’s about us.
We are more than a mind in a body
in the everyday instruments we use.
We have an intermediary,
the vital, a life-body.
It’s the breath of life,
the life force in us.
It has its own consciousness,
and it pushes its desires into the mind,
its impulses into the body,
its preferences for this and that,
and it’s the death of us.

It’s like a small child,
really.
If you meet it in dream it
is a large, hairy creature
with a long neck and no head,
that just loves you to death,
like a big rub up against you dog.
It’s friendly.
It’s got its own mind.
Now here’s the trouble with man,
and we don’t even see it:
you have to get the vital in order,
if you wanna deal with life.
This was not a doctrine I performed
when I entered the Integral Yoga
that has this psychology down.
I had met my vital in dreams,
and I understood what my teachers were talking about.
Sri Aurobindo and the Mother talk about the vital a lot.

Now here you are
a man in a woman’s body,
or a woman in a man’s,
or so you think.
There are three people involved:
your vital, your mind, and your body.
They each have a gender.
Wow, how weird is that?
It’s principles they mask.
One is masculine.
One is feminine.
A combination wouldn’t mean dysphoria,
or would it?

Now, my mind is male,
and I’ve got a male body.
My vital sweetheart is feminine.
They work together you see
and form a confederacy.
I balance them.
I know myself.
Would you?

A masculine-feminine body
would have to be dealt with.
It would require surgery
in some cases.
That’s understood.
Okay we got a masculine mind and vital,
but the body’s different.
What’s removed in surgery?
Surface towels.
The body consciousness still has its gender.
It hasn’t been cut away.
It counts.
Can you see this?

How do you live with it,
a body one thing,
a mind and vital another?
That’s not a woman inside a man’s body,
or the other way around.
Your understandins’ wrong.
Give this gift to yourself:
don’t worry about society’s gender.
Take its clothes off.
You want to be you inside.
Where is that at?
A masculine-feminine lady,
or a man that’s masculine and feminine.
Do you get the picture?
Can you see what I’m sayin’?

Be okay with who you are.
That dick is yours,
that beaver.
If it’s ugly you got a problem
of self-acceptance to sort out.
You don’t have to be confused.
I think it’s society’s roles making you suffer,
the way it looks at you.
Can you be bigger than that?
Can you get out of yourself
in don’t look at gender
like it makes the world go round?

Be a man and a woman you see,
and it’s where society’s movin’,
fluid gender roles.
You open your spirituality
you’ll also become the opposite sex.
I mean if you follow your plan,
the inside spirit of things,
the movement of your soul as it walks through time,
not a practice and belief set.
Have we gotten anywhere?
To the right way of being.
Have you heard me yet?
Try.

Gender roles
don’t tell yah who you are.
The extraordinary does,
and I’m a mission to see it
more plainly than I do now.
Would you believe it?
And they call me a pedophile.
You think you’ve got it bad
in society’s ways.
Gender role fluidity,
let’s get sensitive about that,
not insults to us,
because they disagree with you.
We can’t change society
with the anger of its being.
That crushes it,
eats it alive.
We can’t change society with anger
and want it to love us.
Somehow we have to all agree
gender roles are too rigid,
and we change accordingly.
That takes love.
That takes patience,
and we won’t do it overnight.
Does anybody hear me?

We want society to change,
and that’s the school we go to,
and it’s not a military school.
And we come to the gender roles,
the wrong types of the wrong kinds of divided.
We reason this out
where rules are concerned,
and we put them aside
when need be.
Our school children can learn this
so easily,
how to a happy gender life.
Let’s start with some knowledge, will yah?
And you heard it in this poem,
all along the gender wars.
You hear me?

There’s a message
in our placement book,
where we live together life.
Do you hear it?
Let’s aim life
to that message room:
oh gender kids,
gender fluidity.
Oh no acting occurred.
There are muscles that never hurt.
There are muscles that never work.
Never wash your hands
is a single no to the system.
You just lie there and wait
for some other hand to pick you up.
Oh come on please,
you don’t know what I’m talking about?
Get it,
that two worlds isn’t political;
it’s political or die.
You’ve got that raccoon in your mouth.
It lifts good.
Now are we gender or sex?

Let’s take a look at this.
Oh my God he’s gay.
Yes Chris,
Mr. Beast is not laughing about this.
Twenty thousand
eat their dicks.
I’m gay.
It’s a guilt trip.
One second.
They don’t like the social stigma.
Is that a reason to cut off your penis?
You don’t want to be gay,
and we transgender,
like gayness is out of style.

Does it feel good
cutting your penis off?
Like months,
like nab,
yeah I’ll use nab.
We use gay against the world.
Luna!
get off that girl dog.
She’s humping her lesbian.
No even a service to me.
Look at the spell.
A Rottweiler’s blind.
She really gets after it.
What am I saying?
Please,
we would not give Luna a sex change operation because of it.
She’s my dog.

Why are we sex changing people?
And it’s just a big mess.
The social stigma of gay,
or bein’ a lesbian,
I don’t want it.
I don’t care.
I will kill you.
Wow we’ve loaded this gun.
Now let’s support them in this?
How many children are saying that?
Puberty blockers please,
I’m just homosexual.
I hate that.
I put on gender clothes.
Yeah it’s perfect.
Yeah you do.

Can we sell you something else?
You’re a man.
You will be that when you grow up,
and you’ll have these gay feelings.
Why would you want to deal with them with irreversible surgery?
And man, they say it’s better as a kid.
The change takes that way.
Hence the puberty blockers.
And we look at God again.
No sex between kids,
so cut their dicks and pussies.
Why can’t they make the decision to have sex?
They can gender confuse.
They can decide to remove their genitals.
Why aren’t they old enough to have sex?
Now a child molester touch those parts,
is that really worse than a doctor cutting them off?
I think you’re blind here.

You stigmatize people.
That helping hand,
you won’t let it out in the neighborhood.
That role competition,
can we first see we engage in it?
A girl wants to be a boy.
Why?
Boys get to do more stuff.
They’re the arm of society.
So they bleed in the wrong bathrooms,
because they have a dysphoria.
They don’t wanna be girls.
Has this anything to do with life,
a reason for choices?
You bet your sweet Bob it is.
They’re gay,
so many children who want to slice penises.
And those girls who want to be boys,
how many of them say it’s because of the muscle?
Can we look at gender dysphoria please?
Can we really look at it?

Let’s look at my hand.
And he goes out into the water,
The Fonz,
and this is trick or treat.
You’re doin’ it on ice.
You rob people of their sleep.
I think you know you’re ugly.
They’d call you a freak,
the transgender haters.
It didn’t work did it?
Just listen to your voice.
It’s a weird drum,
your larynx.
You don’t look like people who made the stars.
There’s somethin’ about you out of wack.
Can you admit it didn’t work,
your sex change operation?
It just has you glow
in an almost there.

I can’t count society’s ways.
There’s too many of ‘em.
I think it’s important to be gender.
Don’t even catch up.
I’ve watched them a million times,
‘cause it goes and knocks out one of them,
it role change his whole society.
I think it’s important to be gender related.
I’m talking about Chris,
with the power to say he’s a woman.
Is that really true?
Do we give people that right,
just be the opposite sex?
That negates society’s most structuring formula,
right now.
We haven’t gotten there yet,
a gender equal society.
We can’t force it with this change.
You’re messin’ with the roles of man,
the very terms of how we socially construct,
and that goes deep.

You change that at the drop of a hat?
Why would somebody be transphobic,
who opposes it?
Wouldn’t they just be normal
in the field of today?
Did you know that
you’re askin’ a lot of people.
You want them to accept your decision,
based on what?
These are role plays.
Now it’s just if you say so.
That’s the right being pushed.

Well that’s grand.
It doesn’t do us any good.
Okay if your vital and your mind are feminine,
and your body’s not,
I think we need to learn how to do that,
come to that conclusion.
Part of it’s inner work.
But them we wouldn’t change your sex
with plastic surgery.
We’d allow you to express yourself as a woman,
if that suited you,
or at least feminine wears.
We are still on the way to that.
So many people just want the norm.
Can you see the obstacles in your way?
Can you see all this stuff?

I don’t think there are as many of you as sort out.
A lot of you are just blind
to the role maker,
and you think you need to be reassigned.
By that I mean nature works,
in most cases.
Now are we superstar?
We can’t even get a poem across,
and this is a long one.
I can say anything you know.
I don’t get called out—
no readers.

How are things goin’?
Things seem to be happening rather fast.
It looks like social breakdown,
but that’s been always happenin’.
Oh we don’t own money.
How many of us are record holders?
How many of us are rocket holders?
The rich own this planet,
and we want them out of power.
World is not a kind thing,
and it’s beginning to self-destruct
there are so many of us.
We aggravate that.
Now you can go right to the hammer
and get under it,
or you can lay out the change,
one poem at a time,
to keep this planet off roller coasters,
to make sure we survive.

America especially but in the West,
transgender has come to mean offend.
It’s where we can see over-sensitive,
in its full play.
Why is that?
People aren’t secure in their decisions.
Well another poem
underway.
See that it gets to rocket science, will yah?