photo by the author, a chalkboard at the entrance to an Auroville middle school
Boxed in the corner, I hear You call my name. I last. I play the game. I know how to handle time. There’s a secret to it. Open yourself to the Invisible. Hold yourself on the inside and see the outside. Don’t just stand there and swim. Mount time the stadium you wear. Don’t be bashful about it. Don’t overrate yourself. Stand up and spell time the way you wear it. Give the voice to the ages. You want to be so sincere you spelled time for everyone.
It can be in a broom closet, but you’ve made that closet sing. I’ve been in dens of iniquity, and I found the price of the world that way. I found out how much we cost hurtin’ people. They wore the boundaries me. They were the hope that carried the world, and I just cried my eyes out when I discovered that. Can you embarrass God? I think I did.
Then I opened inside myself time and discovered its secrets. I had damaged time, and it didn’t punish me with it. The way of redemption is forceful and slow, but you can ride upon its back if you find redemption’s base: I am trouble I am, and that is a whirlwind, and I turn that whirlwind upon myself, and I open time and fate upon myself, to rack the tools up in inner man to overcome evil with good I’ve paid for myself.
It happened, and I grab you by the hand and show you inner healing’s ways. We are not an accident, and we are bigger than the wrong we have done, and you are bigger than having it done to you. We get trapped in these ways, and we make reality existence either hurting or being hurt, the clash of right and wrong.
How this fools us into little lives that can’t see past their own noses, and we make everything a sin, or we are trying to get to sin. How many can let a child play with themselves and stay out of it? Why you want to stop them or join in. Fuck let’s cut that asunder and just stay out of it. Fuck, you can stay here, or you can allow language to get a little tight to come into these narrow straits of time. It’s difficult to go past your moral boundaries, and the world needs to be saved, and our existence depends up it.
Children need to play with themselves, and men and women need to heal from sin, not punished, not beaten, not be made outcast. You cannot stop evil you can only heal it, and that changes it into something else. We can heal together. We can find the weapons to do that. It’s much deeper than a doctor’s office, deeper than a psychiatry chair, deeper than a religious conversion and any form of prayer.
We have to turn inside out. We have to get to the bottom of things. We have to open our consciousness and get in there to the secret stuff. / We have to get clean, not from sin, from even the desire to hurt and harm. We have to look at each other and know we are more than any me. We have to find the secret Inhabitant that sees out both our eyes, and we both see together that we are one through that gaze.
Man this is reality, who we need to see to survive, and it’s how we heal from hurting people and being hurt, but you have to arrive there not just in belief. It’s to see that Look. We wear time. It doesn’t bury us. It’s not our keeper. It’s not who we are.
The phenomenon is just a wonderful in the All-Look’s gaze. Wonderful we see that, and wonderful we see each other, and a panda is to us the moon and a dog the starry sky. Can you get there? All life has Eyes, and oh the splash of healing there, phenomenal.
Do you want to understand? I can give you all I’ve got. That’s the music in me. You have to be wide enough to take it and not stand in its way. We need to heal time, and are you gonna block that?
Oh look at that swing behind the throw up. It’s how you reach enlightenment my dears. Believe it or not a swing shows up in dreams when you approach it. It’s a force that takes you like the spiral, and you literally swing. How about that habitat? Nothing can get in the way. You’ve got to swing all the way there. Your life will proportion this out to you. You get closer, and you move further away, swinging back and forth until you get high enough to arrive.
Do you see how tall you are? The symbol of dream has shown you up close your waking life approach, time’s secret here I’ve shown to you. If you do anything, habitat this truth when it comes out.
Am I allowed to continue? Why thank you I appreciate that. The little swing of enlightenment people, how we tell time what we are.
The constructuralist my poem. Do you know what I’m talkin’ about pedo squad? I’m lookin’ at you in the German theater. What they do with your mayor? Did they fry ‘im?
He downloaded images of against the law right there in the town square, that one special crime that kills everybody. You know I’m talkin’ disease. Do you know what? You’re the infectors. All of society is.
It’s a child’s jewels. It brings up so much stuff in humanity. You can’t get over it, that they have them, that they find pleasure there. It’s the fundamental rule not to touch. How did this come about? Guarding secrets.
You feel nothing I am sure seein’ a kid at the train station. It disgusts you what people do with little Johnny’s toy. You would rather they be shot, the child I mean. What am I sayin’?
Let’s go back in the history of children. Prehistory, caveman days, I think it ruled society eat that child’s lunch. We couldn’t get out of bed for it. I mean we could not evolve, develop, into let’s find ourselves there, an ordered society that did not eat itself. Murder and mayhem blinded us.
Do you know we came from there? A child got woke in a human animal band. It was a woke party. It was infant orgasm, and give them some plant medicine. The mother and parents were egged on in dream and vision from other spheres to give us human consciousness, raw form only; development came later.
Did one person infect them all, like in a reverse Planet of the Apes? I don’t know maybe this was a garden, and a whole tribe was involved. I think we started in one place, but the procedure could have been done anywhere where the apeman was involved. If this started us, kids got eaten alive for a million years.
Morality was born. That’s the significance of the Jews in early history and some other tribes who got wiped out, but we see their trees today. You know the Gods came along and employed circumcision and moral rules to reduce us from our children, especially the male lead. This is the child machine. You know they are a leaven, the people of the Jews, but they were not the only ones. I’m sorry; do I count their sins too? Do I count my sins too?
We stopped eating our children as morality evolved. You can see in primitive societies, the non-technology ones, a whole lot of touchin’ goin’ on and histories of things got worse. Now what do we do with it today? Stomp it out like fire, like every day.
I’ve taken you on a journey into parental eves. Get intimately close to a kid in naked wares, in that loving embrace, the younger ones especially, and you might wear desire a time or two in the littleness of that child. You’re not a pedophile. You just hit intimacy as it hits us, and if you don’t believe what I’m talkin’ about, get really into your dreams where that kid shows up naked.
This is natural desire that scares the hell outta you. It makes you hate the pedophile. It makes you hate him mean. You can’t see this. You don’t want to. I can watch someone killed in a video all day, and the makers go to jail I don’t. What’s with child pornography? I just told yah. I can watch movies about killings, all kinds of crimes. I can look at horrible pictures of anything I wanna see, but see a picture of a naked kid, increasingly, not even hintin’ at sex, and you’re liable to go to jail.
The armies we have to prevent it, they’re poisoning humanity. Prevent child abuse? Everybody says it’s getting worse. What are you doin’? Ease up on those controls. Go for the image makers. Try to restrict access, but don’t hang people for lookin’ at it. You’re going overboard, like you do when you’re reactin’ to unconscious process. Can I show it here? I just did.
We have that place where, yep, you need to turn on that character light. I would say he does not deserve the title respect call him. Thank you sadhak. Nat started a story. It was obscenity of being, the crazy what’s up nails trauma a bunch of us go through. Are we on your calendar?
You’re nice and pretty. Does that mean you’re good in the sense of good to all of us? We’ve got a world here in a tin can. It hurts everybody. You would not like a story that makes you mean. Is that transformative?
Watch movies that’s all you see, a blight of entertainment “televised from the gulfs of Night” [from Savitri, an epic poem by Sri Aurobindo] that tells stories to pit you against one another, to make your blood boil, to let the demons in.
There isn’t a place on the planet it’s not on your local TV. This is what we’ve gotta get out of, get back to our dream maker as the one we watch and write. Is that a perverted slam?
You would boil at the inner consciousness because it pits you against your morality papers: don’t say cuss words; don’t mention sex; don’t talk about getting your dick sucked when you were five by your mother. What have I just done?
I let the inner consciousness in in language that grabs you and moves you, that has the day on it, that gives you a porn whereabouts so many faces are into these days. It hits you where you’re at if you can’t tell right from wrong, if you’re lost in all this sleaze. We’re tryin’ to reach people not preach to them.
A dream comes out from someone who suffered this in the language that it felt like, and the elect can’t take it because they don’t know how to deal with it. They’re into quotes of Sri Aurobindo and pictures of deity. They look at spirituality as the cure and not addressin’ what’s wrong in the language that needs to.
Everybody just be nice. Make your concentration daily and let no wrong movements in. Be cheerful and happy. There’s no end to the advice in spiritual seeking. Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty of life. Let’s use those quotes to solve problems. The Mother and Sri Aurobindo are a wealth of that, applied in ways you haven’t imagined yet, because you’re religious and one-sided.
We need to heal, so many of us. You can’t imagine what it’s like where hell has opened in humanity. This is all over the globe, terrible stories that’ll make you cry if you had your empathy on.
We need to heal the world first, then spiritualize it, and spirituality will be healing, because that’s what it’s made for, if it’s the soul involved. You don’t know this. Soul healing’s to you a preacher wrote. It’s not test the limits of humanity in making healing the order of the day. This soul is wide and free. You don’t know that either.
You look at the Gods of Overmind, the lowest rung. They’re moral and straight. They have seen God in passing one time maybe. They are closest to us in the ways of deity. They make rules and regulations, put experiments on vice and get rid if it not heal it. Our whole world is taken by Them. It’s what we need to change and bring a new order upon the Earth, soul healing in the dynamics of Supermind.
You don’t know how wide God is, when it comes to the personal growth process of wholeness and healing. / That’s been my path all along, and it’s gotten acute where I show it to you, all Sri Aurobindo’d. What else can I do? I’m his disciple and a seer of his wisdom, and I’ve been told to talk to you.
I’ve spent 25 years learin’ my craft, a lifetime before that as a poet. You can’t fault me in preparation, all prepared for yah. Grab me by the balls will yah and throw me to policemen, or at least try to shut me up? God’s will be done.
One editorial board member, Dr. Alok Pandey, who is listed as a “Member, Research Advisory Council, Sri Aurobindo Society,” replied to my emails, three times, the first: “May Her Grace be with you,” her meaning the Mother, the second: “What is tormenting your soul so much dear child?” and the third: “You are quite right. You seem to be an angry and arrogant brash revolting angel. I don’t find your poetry tasteful or even poetry. It is a blurting out of things stirring in your subconscious, not mind nor higher, but inframental forces. That’s my view about your poetry. By the way I am not part of any organization nor have any access to publishing poetries so you could perhaps try some other place or person. Good luck. May the Grace be with you.” No one else on the board or in that organization has replied.
Okay you ready? We got that thang fixed. Okay yeah. Everything watch manners— there’s boats in the car. The problem is with the Silver. Take somethin’. Take this over the top of your head. Can you growl with me at cars? A field of stars show all this morality. I’m in business for good, and that’s how I pull your pants down, get away with it. I’m showin’ the Mother her feelins when she was a little girl, and my eye is ever on what was made illegal in India: offend people in their religion, and they put you in jail.
Can a reformer speak? We wanna change things for the better, and we have to challenge religion to do it. Religious sentiments need to change so we can get past this stumbling block. Alright I’m right there, holdin’ my penis and showin’ flowers. Where did you go? You think I’d said the n-word. Oh, wrong culture, but you can hear America from here, Indian. We put everybody on trial. I bet you don’t wear your genitals properly. My God they’re beastly things, all wrapped up. No one wants to hear them. I’m gifted speech, a seer of divine wisdom that has the sun in his sights.
Oh Supermind, we can’t see a difference from Overmind where our morality’s concerned. Supermind will stay right there by society in where it needs to change to bring harmony in the situation. It isn’t fight with rules. It breaks them, and that’s how we change our lives to get so much bigger than any rule can make us. Alright overmental keepers, listen up. I harmonize.
Well that shirt go to the other side. Look at my fuckin’ numbers you mean. There’s just a second before I change in poetry, and I bring so much literal verse into a symbolized meaning. You hear me cars? Don’t run off. I’m just tryin’ to explain things you don’t wanna talk about. You should’ve seen ‘er. She fought that tongue, but it didn’t bite ‘er. In India— I figured it was you. I hold off more than I can chew. So many open-minded Indians I’m not mentionin’ in this book, but I know you’re there. I’m a seer of divine origin, and I’ve got some thumbnails to put out to the public.
Just wait a minute. How often do you think? It’s been a year I’ve threatened you with green leaves. This is the baseline, where we genital one another, talkin’ about the social consciousness in our arisin’ morality.
Gonna get you there. Does it stink? It’s not a baseline of spirituality, but it’s standard there. We deal with these things as we follow some yoga or put on our sadhana. They can’t be ignored. The genitals are a loud gun. No one deals with them properly. We stuff them away even evil to look at, like they snake. We have put them in marriage vows so they can express themselves without poundin’ the social fabric. That was a temporary measure made a long time ago by the Gods to control us.
It’s tearin’ apart the social fabric. We have genitals when we’re not married. They reach out and bite us if we deny them expression and we are not mature enough for brahmachari, celibate in our wears, especially kids. Do you know the confusion they feel to have these little toys with handles on them, and they get punished with they do, or made to feel so ashamed? They grow up a sexual question mark that puts pleasure in the wrong place: it’s not right. Or they just go balls to the wall as an adult doin’ what was denied.
Let’s put the genitals in the right place: they’re not ugly or mean, but they need to be handled properly. Just say no doesn’t work if you haven’t worked out your sexuality, experimented with its measure, looked at its price. How do we do this and heal from sexual disorder? Would a homosexual say that? I don’t think we’re ready for soul process. It comes on mastery in the ways. It’s not a well of permissiveness, but sometimes that’s the order when all things are arranged.
Can I call upon the difference between soul process and divine process to go under morality and show you this? You’re just put in situations where you work out until you mastery. No, the soul hurts no one, but it’s open to the play, urging you, guiding you, leading you to right relationships between people, and here in the well of eternity that takes lifetimes. We want the soul pressure up front, the psychic being to take its seat as the leader of the life, and all the worlds dig this process where we have evolution at stake, but can I tell yah everybody’ll be brahmachari when the world turns to spirituality as its profit motivation? When you hit maturity for that, like in your early thirties. Some will be called earlier.
We’re headed somewhere. We have a spiritual transformation ahead, the whole damn world. It’s headed towards Supermind, right there in its soul change. The genitals have to be put in place. We have to wear them right, and that’s not always covered up. Can you see this? We have to remove harm from them. That’s not done easily. It’s not done at all by making them taboo. Sri Aurobindo and the Mother put their pencils down here and left us all hangin’.
Oh the glories of the Victorian age they were in. It stuffed sex, and neither one of them liked it. Were they prudes? The perverse habit is so natural to mankind. What do we do with that? Do we call our teachers liars? They’re right there with us now. You can hear them in my words. I’m sorry I said that. I know how that makes you feel. Who am I? I’m a seer of Sri Aurobindo. I’m a poet of the Mother. This bake— I don’t have the clout, and I’m a foreign man.
You don’t like foreigners. You don’t understand. It’s not something you look at. I don’t think the collective sees this. They wouldn’t admit it. It’s such a feature of India when you’re a foreigner living here. You get it all the time, discrimination. I can’t show you this. You’re not a foreigner, but can I show you your attitudes to me? They suck. They’re not right.
Okay dosa flavor— you’ve got to incorporate mankind, and all the idiosyncrasies of the Indian psyche, the ones that block evolution, have to be fielded and tested and made to change. A foreigner does that in the Yoga of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo— of course. I just hear you praise yourselves and look down on everybody else. You can’t take criticism, not even in the spirit of a sadhak. Can I change? That’s what I’ve done among you, taken a horrible disorder and India’d it. No other place on Earth could do that. The soul of India is wide and free, and it is here Supermind came down, and I’m right there in that cradle.
Now am I makin’ sense? You see me. I gave you the truth of my being. It’s all in order, settled down now, a fit receptacle for the word, and you hear it now. My little boy’s there too, trainin’ mode. I’ll show ‘im to your shortly, when we get ‘im back home.
Seen moved realty, but no one’s lookin’. Can you see guidelines? We’d have to spell out each and every individual situation. That can’t be done, but can we understand our genitals have us in prison? And when body parts get handled, or even measured, and it’s not get up and go that wedding ring, we have a conniption. Put a kid in there, and you make them think they’ve been killed. No this is not permissiveness speaking. I’m just sayin’ don’t react like it’s the end of the world. Don’t hate the genital player and want them dead. Heal them. Put ill will on the situation, and everybody dies. Let the genitals be free from only sexual expression. They can be out in public, if they’re not horny. Don’t be so uptight about them. Give them room to breathe.
Give them room to grow into a true genital opening. That’s beyond touch. It’s an esoteric chakra opening, with no field play. My God they’re good. Are you tall enough for that? It’s wonderful. It’s ecstasy, but it doesn’t touch another person, and you don’t touch yourself. Orgasmic in its intensity, it flowers you there. This is abstinence without denial. It happens to the open vehicle.
You’re too prude for that, adult Indian. Did I just knock your nationality? No I’m countin’ sheep, and not just Indian, but you can’t tell me there’s not prudishness here, all over your rules and regulations and moral reactions involving the least little bit of nudity not on ancient statues or on some naked sadhu, rare though he is today. What exception makes you liberal? Now let’s go to town. We need to start the day.
One see how ugly it is, even if there’s a divine calling rock bottom potential. What’s that supposed to mean? What about that in your own bill? Do you touch the stuff? Spiritual technology shows you how, gives you that medicine ring on your finger. Try to do it without fantasies, glued to no one, no other genital involved, not even lookin’ at another body. You’ve got your mind’s eye in the pleasure of your own hand, like a kid does it not teened yet, remember?
You’ve got a blank white horse, does not incur any wrath, and it’s perfectly natural and clean. That’s the way to do it if you’re horny, and you’ve haven’t achieved mastery yet. Do you hear me Steve, Gwendo? Would you call that sex? Feels good doesn’t it? And that’s what you tell the child you find them doin’ it. It’s not a join hands. You don’t rob them of their pleasure. Okay sweetheart? We’re all innocent here.
See if you could let a poem come, inevitable in its rose. Do you hear me? Pardon my English paper. Language is on the floor. You would write your need. How’s that done? Holdin’ back the thoughts, an arrival comes. It pops in a sudden keeper. You don’t hold it open with your thought. You wait for the next line in blank mind. It comes along the edges of your reason. It surprises you with its intensity and its forward motion.
I could’ve just gone walkin’. I lifted my voice and gave you a song, with intent/purpose in it. [above words heard spoken simultaneously] I could’ve just given you a paper the walls of the motion picture write. You see it glows. It wraps us all around in the society of little business, but you see the form of its arrival from print-wood, where it comes from the inner Void a miraculous light in time. Don’t just stand there, write.
This is a tender box. Well it is, and from that well comes the world all on fire with the mystery you can’t solve: from where does the poem arise, if it’s bigger than your piece of paper, if it’s greater than your pen, something bigger than anything existence owns? You want to touch it. This is beyond consciousness. I block it anywhere I position myself in time Monday through Friday. My little boy will get here a sudden epiphany. Impending arrival— everything now it’s done. Captures the wallpaper of the mystery behind time you never even heard of, the mystery that wears a face, giving this film a package delivery. I wanna see it on the wall. In a little while I’ll have you in my arms, in a little while. [above three lines heard sung] It was a soul wrote.
The attitude was small, featureless in Auroville, a flip cart. It was a place into the opposite half, busy with sex and let the world fall, everybody who had arms in their pants. There were very few celibacies. It gathered there watch the old house where sex was concerned. Abstinence was a penance imposed upon Puritans. Nobody flowered out the top of their head an ascending orgasm, what you waste when you masturbate or cum. You don’t even know it’s there, but let’s look at the spiritual consciousness, Silent Mind in Overmind, a way station along the way that has to be done. Do you know it’s there? I’m sorry it’s not about the cells. Abstinence will show you when it’s not abstinence but integration, and you desire can be right there in bed with you, and you’re holdin’ your desire tight, and you leave the genitals out of it. Can you control mastery? If that’s where you live you go. Finding partners to sleep with to test mastery fails.
We remain in place and be that bigger than ourselves and our surroundings, and when desire no longer has your toes, and you’re not bleedin’ reaction but stayin’ calm, still the mind; in quiet peace comes. You don’t even have to tell anybody. Just do it. Goddamn it feels good. Let’s open ecstasy, shall we? Now you’re in your room, and Auroville can’t bother you anymore, and just a few of you can change it, just by being receptacles of the new wine Auroville waits. It’s a mountain now.
In and out cars, this one got longer hair. I’ll print the trailer one horse at a time. In the first poem, [link] the codpiece is about enlightenment. We need our system’s input, and we are too skeptical for God in our lives. The horse and pony show makes us system mean. We rob flowers, in all department stores. Terrible consequences for wood. We get ostracized and banished from society, and this is kingdom hall. We bleed and we say grace in the wrong movement. Can you discover this?
It chops us in half, with special counsel. You fool erase that paint. I have to rein it in. Crash on symbols. Let me monopolize ages of reason. That’s think tank in our purple yard. It’s expensive to have sex the behavior is wrong, and that is defined culturally, in sudden kingdoms. I’m a Mastodon that lost its way in heavy equipment. Society won’t forgive me for that, and it only knows the spell of society. Can you gauge that?
We pour out morality on our sleeve. We bury there all our common sense. Hallelujah I’m saved, says the Christian in the room, and society’s muffled because of that, as Christians enter the Legislature and take over government in halls of America. A thousand and one evils, they all blow up on society in a Christian yard. It helps itself to the wrong measure of man. We are so much more than behavior and bended miles.
We can’t see straight. We can’t even look. We’re confounded by time. They study us, all these wrong people in the room, the ones who think they know the right and have their hands on power. They wanna move us outta here, where we pinpoint the throes of man. You can’t lick this chocolate. It’s time on Earth is few. Everybody knows the dance, but no one knows the realization that we are loftier than our species, that we can make it right, one society at a time. This is certain gold.
We are all cattle and sheep, unwilling to find the destination of man. We think it’s a religious figure or an atheist’s technology that tries to play God. Can you character here, find the Sun? We revel in sweetness, then shoot it down with our guns. I don’t think we know what innocence is. It’s cropped out in school, and we lament the loss of innocence in children, and we stand there and rob it from them in the harmful environment of school, and we wanna make it harder, put them in there longer. Can you see this? This is the greatest fire on Earth, makes society a slave model and pits us against one another.
Have I reached the end of this talk on climate change? It’s not felled trees I’m talkin’ about or branded water, or the warmin’ skies. Can we get down to business and do the Earth? Can we see past our little lives? Can we see the bigger ship that man is and will become? How do you land down here? We have to get right with one another, and that’s our climate change. If we are going to get bigger than ourselves, we’d have to see importance in every man, woman, and child. No one is discounted. We come together on love, in every set of circumstances, unless we have to stop killin’ and people in the violent act. We have to be strong and swift for that. Then love finds us again healing lives.
This will give us breathin’ room to discover ourselves. Without this no one’s there, except the few who manage to escape society’s bellows. Where have I placed you? Where we need to go. Where we need to be. Can you refuse this? Most people will. Necessity will bring us to it in the eventful years ahead. I’m a blueprint magazine, and I have my windward sail, and you know I’m here.
I felt the wind blows. How to translate our lives a meaning shifting. You can’t ground it good. You can’t even spell it out. Where does it come from? Where is it going? It’s larger than space and time. We have our supernal roams. This give rise to these, the worlds, and we know you’re in there Mr. Nithish. It comes close to the bottom and close to the top, but a world is a beanpole. We stargaze there. We champion our own rounds. Oh come on come up.
How do you handle a hungry man? With patience and loving-kindness, unless you need to shoot ‘im, ‘cause he’s in our garden. I’ve just mentioned to you the problem. We don’t know when to quit. Our lives are in danger here, but defend ourselves means this: too much overkill. And what do you want? I’m sorry I’m backin’ off. Let’s make this count. We don’t have to be at the dinner table in the substance of our lives. We can be bigger than kin and they all wear my face. Humpy Dumpty sat on a wall.
But we’re relieved to find we are on our way, once we know how to get movin’. You there, will you just sit there and smile? The fear of death join our room. Can we back up this yard? We’ve got a whole lot to loud out, and it’s time we did not let the fear of death stop us. Who lands this creek? You’ve got to get up and get moving, knowing death is always there circling you and the lives of your loved ones. Accept death hell, we’re gonna learn to change it a long time in the future. Meanwhile, we don’t let it stop us from getting bigger than ourselves.
Oh my goodness wide movement. Morality will help you there, but it’s not the goal. We live and die: oh you’re bad temple will cook, because it’s not your religion anymore the church seat. Let’s gold bottom’s up. Where Douglas? We’ve reached stars, all over ourselves. We review the Sun, the gold I was speaking of. Can you hear it? It’s right there on the tail end of this poem. Let’s get busy with it, gettin’ the strength to see it. I give you links, the bread and butter. Let’s copy this on one another: I love you.
Harm's End 