Have we always been human and universal Brahman? I killed 14 people. Frying that up, do I lose my humanity? Back to the recent times. Are people just badder than before? What can we say about humanity? You know I’m countin’ sheep.
We drag clothes wear. This is not our first costume. Where do we come from? Do we come from ugly, or do we come from good? Do we come from the chaos down under, spawns of hell that evolved to light?
We’ve been in the engines of the universe for a long time. Are we emerging, or was this a soul’s fall into matter’s plight, great heavens we wore and then lost it all in a sudden decision? Are we universal existence lost in individual chains goin’ through trapdoors all the time? How does our unity play? How deep does our unity go? Do we evolve together or separately?
You think the protozoa created us scientific doctor, and we emerged to man, no soul in the machine, no universal existence beforehand, no Brahman with his gun. The fish in the sea are our ancestors on high. We dream of being human again you idiot, where life meets the universe on every frustrate world.
Is this all there is pond? I can speak from my crash course in reality, and we have scales of being that rip us off and brighten our days and sometimes hold nothin’ with us in the great majority of cases. There’s the earthling man, the universe revolves around this?
I have more fields to show the origin of the universe wears. I’ve poked my head out of the sky and seen more than I can show. You don’t know what it means to look beyond and carry the glow of the universe like it’s your backyard. I’m a small man in Earth shoes bustin’ at the seams with immensity, and I can give you a ride home?
I ride these poems too, and I’m a bucket in the sand joinin’ reality with you. We have more roles to play, don’t you see? And even existence is not all we are, but let’s get down to Earth, shall we? We are not the demon’s room. We do not come from hell. Escape it is our price— a real punishment you don’t need to worry about all existence long. And we were not once Gods, and now we are men and women, but of Godhead we did wore.
We come from beyond the universe to inhabit these fields of clay. We are existence before existence in the planetary field ride. We are burning suns each and every one, to use the symbol that ignites the universe. We come from on high. We are principle actors in a principle game that has stars for robes.
I just spoke the alcoholic’s din bin, the wayward president his lair, the child molester in bed with a child, and the tax collector at your door. I can get muddy these or just be an ordinary house mum or field husband or kid in school dreamin’ of what will become of me.
Lift up your eyes sweetheart. There is more to come. There’s the Diamond in the room, and all your lives lead to that as in the making of a star, the crash and founding of a universe, and we can be there kids. We can be there in great lone moments of the direction at noon. We can see the sky, have great Earth thoughts that make us feel God inside and hurry this along folks. Yah hear me kids?
unless otherwise noted, photos by Donny, black and white photos developed by him
When you have sad news, that murder with Lisa, a parenting did not handle it right. How do I make amends? You give her what she wants, the tall part of the story. She is the sacrifice of the story. She is your dog.
What does Lisa’s death day mean? It’s the ascension of dog. She is taking on her human, and with consciousness pain she does that, birthing into another world. We greet her there.
This has gone on for some time. You need to meet, and she forgives you and moves on. Will she be there when I die? This is not just some free-for-all. It’s consciousness arranged. That will be your other side guide dog, and she will accompany you in death. Don’t worry she’s your angel.
Three years ago today, on June 3, the day before my 60th birthday, my beloved Lisa Joy Rottweiler died in my bed surrounded by everybody in our house. Dr. JP was our vet, had been for some years, had been to our house many times, but it was during lockdown, and he was shifting to a new location for his clinic, and he neglected Lisa and misdiagnosed her condition and gave her tablets that caused kidney failure, and he knew she had kidney disease. We took her to an expensive dog hospital in Chennai, and they made a bad decision to have her undergo dialysis when she was septic inside. I had to take her across town to the government vet hospital, and they wanted to admit her but told me I could not stay with her, and so I asked that, if I took her home and got her the treatments she needed, would she live, and he said yes. She died that night.
She did not pass rightly but got trapped in some dark place in-between life and death. I was going into lucid dream and calling her, did that several times, but she would not come to me so that I could help her rise out of there. I learned to my horror that she thought I’d killed her, as I’d unknowingly given her the tablets that made her kidneys fail, and I made that bad decision in Chennai, because of wanting the pleasure of spending my birthday with my boy, Nithish, who was back home in Pondicherry.
She was so present at our house after her death, but it was Nithish that saw her in dream the most. I had visions of her all day long, but she would not let me pet her or hold her big, beautiful head in my hands. She would just look at me with such sadness and the look you give someone when they’ve utterly betrayed you. She began changing forms, as soon after death we do that, and our bodies do not stay as we know them. She became very deformed. Demons came to claim her, as she was on the outskirts of hell. She fought them off and somehow managed to find a place there so she could always see me. Despite thinking that I’d killed her, I was still the love of her life, and she did not want to leave me. It was horrible, heartbreaking situation.
From the moment she died, I was in heavy grief, similar to that I’ve felt with Nithish being taken from me, and it’s as though he is dead because I can’t see him or talk to him. I gave her my tears, a lot or tears, but it didn’t show her I didn’t kill her. To this day, three years later, it’s still unresolved, and I am still in grief over her.
Photo by Nithish
On the first anniversary of her death Nithish met her in a movie theater in a dream. She was the only one in the theater, and Nithish came in, saw her seated about in the middle of the theater, and he went and sat next to her. Then on the screen began to show images of Lisa with Nithish and me in her life with us. Then she looked at him very lovingly, very sadly, and the dream ended.
The extraordinary thing about Lisa is she is to be human in her next life and was a dog with almost human eyes and feelings. I believe that dogs and cats are with us, why we brought them into our fire circle so long ago, to be the species that is the jumping off place to the human being in the evolution of the soul. Lisa is now in the afterlife on the way to being a human being in her next life, a dog developed to the upmost a dog can be developed in terms of consciousness and proximity to human, and she has managed to find a niche there so to continue to see me and present herself to me so to resolve her death, but it’s a heaven place she’s at; she’s no longer in darkness. This in itself is incredible for a dog to do, but now she’s reaching out on her death day to tell me what she wants, and I’m giving it to her, Lisa my dog, above any other dog I have. She sacrificed her life so Nithish and I can be together again, so our relationship continues, and she’s at the top of the story.
The bio I sent you at the end of Chapter 3,
that’s Neale Donald Walsch
you think so,
and not even Donald Walsch thinks so.
This product is will,
and I've seen what I'm talking about.
I speak of spiritual experience.
When I say
the other states of consciousness,
I've worn them.
This is poetry central.
This came from the heart,
a poet’s withstand silence.
Come off the planet
I taste good.
Revel in speech.
Pull the nightshades down
and amplify the Word.
This is good music,
on top of its bar.
No one knows where it came from.
It’s a divine hearing speech.
It’s got candy-grass in it
and real diamonds.
It’s an incredible blast of good.
It’s sits in the sunlight and sings.
We know it handles.
We know it’s good for us.
Let’s not stand and break this.
Let’s give it our particular attention
and put it in the wind so it can circulate.
It’s divine word speak,
and it comes crashing down on your consciousness
like a message from Heaven.
God is good, you know?
Let’s see what else she floats.
30 doctors took something else.
There is no separate people no more.
Do not sit conversion therapy.
We drink this.
I can’t tell you it’s real.
Where is the confusion
you want to convert?
You want to convert them to Christianity.
Is that a life choice?
Is that real?
The language of G.I.
hairdresses these guys.
It is a power and a snake.
It is not a bridge to forever.
It will not land you in paradise.
It has mountains that you cannot cross.
It doesn’t hold your hand.
It wants you only to obey.
How good is that?
Can we fit Jesus here?
He would not be allowed in church.
He would be asked to leave.
He would not celebrate Mass.
He would not live by the letter of the Law.
He would be too open and honest for people to use.
He would be seen with the wrong sort of people.
He would be colorblind.
He would be around children.
He would rock the boat.
He would love even the sinner.
Jesus would shelter a pedophile,
give comfort to an axe murderer,
would not give up on them,
would stay on their side
all the way to change.
Where do you go with Christianity?
To the hatred of the day.
It’s not a religion
that brings you to God’s love.
It’s a belief system
that ends up in hell.
It creates a God
that will upend creation
and put the overwhelming majority of its people,
the men and women He has created,
to be put in the worst pain imaginable
without end.
Now we look at God.
Who would do that to his children?
What kind of monster are we talking about?
There is no greater monster.
There is no greater pain
than this monster gives.
What a snake in the hands of love.
What a Jesus pile.
And you want to worship this?
This will right the world?
This will make us clean?
Now tell me again why God loves us.
Because we spooked a formula in God’s name
and put Jesus at the center of it,
and if we don’t do this we die
that horrible death
that kills us forever?
For God so loved the world
He put everybody in hell
except some chosen few.
Do you really believe that?
Why?
Do you want to?
That’s salvation?
Conceptualize God’s love.
Would that break the fence?
Incredible on land,
it would hate nobody.
What’s wrong with you you can’t see that?
Ah, a God of punishment has got you there,
of eternal hellfire.
You’re not safe with Him.
Can we see that has structured society?
Do you know what that does to your psyche?
It’s the bottom line of God
in so many religions’ think,
and we put society together accordingly.
That’s impossible.
That’s inhuman.
That’s why we’re there,
where the world sinks
in inhumanity.
Now God is love see.
You love God see.
The Gay and Lesbian Switchboard,
that’s the callers sayin’
good idea
let’s remodel Christianity
it doesn’t hate anyone;
it showers love on people;
morality is not eternal damnation.
Let’s sing together
the way God loves us:
without reservation;
there is no judgment involved,
and there is no punishment involved.
This will happen:
arrest
a lot of non-Christians,
and you would say their hate speech
is what got them in trouble.
You don’t know what’s comin’:
America the Christian police state.
Nobody knows it’s comin’.
It will be disguised until it’s there.
This is the tyranny of the majority,
and it will rely on Christianity
to put its proper in place.
I’d like to tackle this by the horns.
I’d like to show it to you.
I can’t even get out of my blog.
I can’t get past the liberal thinker.
They’re not liberal when it comes to me.
Here they meet the conservative
as bloody partners.
And that will become
the American police state.
You don’t know what I offer you.
You don’t know what I’m sayin’.
I’m all over this page
so we keep from blowing us up.
I’m tryin’ to tell you to stop
hatred before it’s too late,
and you think this is counterculture?
It’s how we survive.
You was the right wing country
Soldier of the Year.
Consider parts and machines too.
I don’t have a legitimate taste.
Where is the movie shop?
Maybe I missed it.
Look on there.
Somebody has called the pedophile the wrong name.
They think he’s out to get them.
He’s tryin’ to pick up the pieces
of our scattered and dying love,
what in the 60s we celebrated.
How do we do that,
find this love again?
Where do we begin?
Put me in a public venue and I’ll show you.
Now, how hard is that?
Well I did bring in the schedule.
The one who was looking at me,
did you think I was just gonna go away?
Goddamn I’m
definitely on campus.
I had another eyesight.
I had a vision
that was clear as day
of the stars.
Piano
on earth
can’t play that melody.
No religion matches it.
Until we see this we’re lost in the sky.
Dogmas
become for us
the substance of religion.
We are too blind to see that.
Even our prophets miss.
Now turn around
and find God your own way.
Find God on the ground
where your life meets the Earth.
Find God in the substance of your stuff,
so God can change you there.
Now my very dear friend,
find God everywhere.
It’s the true Gospel
we live in God.
We live there very deep.
We are His kingdom,
and we are naked with Him in castle keep.
It feels good doesn’t it?
It feels wonderful
the genesis,
the love everlasting.
You’re not gonna see it
if you’re religious on this Earth.
Hello spirituality—
that’s the only way in.
Religion is books.
Spirituality is the hands on
the inner fire.
How many rites and rituals do you need
to find God?
They don’t work.
Just find God.
The encounter with God,
I want to eat that food—
this is the gay man over shadows and walls,
the one you sexualize
with your creation of him.
There is where we first start to see.
It was a clear Autumn night,
but we met with humanity’s problems.
We struggled to get there.
Fate lend a hand.
We are destinies of fate.
I soliloquy this to humanity.
It was a bright future watch out.
A pegasus steals the show,
one we cannot remember nor trust.
Alright who’s listenin’?
I have an access global official.
It’s time for me to run.
I’m beatin’ feet to the target.
All you letters of the Law,
you cram yourselves.
Will that open you up?
I’m sorry gently mean.
Will you please get your head straight?
We have a world to run.
We need to get business early.
We don’t want to become Mars, you know?
We don’t want to do that.
I want my MTV. [line heard sung, by Dire Straits, song, “Money For Nothing”]
Will you just dangle this hero
on camera news?
You don’t know what nuclear holocaust does to a planetary man.
There, I’ve said it,
my purpose in life.
I’m here to avoid that.
You get me Roger?
Ajax address these issues,
but Ajax also reflects personal choices.
Grand Central Station was a customize.
Yah heard me.
It would be Tangle
Newsletter gentleman.
Basically that’s it.
Names,
is that the name of God?
Would you call him Jesus?
I don’t understand God’s son.
Would a man give birth to a dog?
The son is the substance of his father
and his mother,
and where is she in this picture
when we talk about the Trinity?
No God wore.
You’ve made up a family
to give God sustenance in your lives.
You don’t understand God.
Who can?
Come on let’s see God.
I don’t know where He comes from.
Could we call Jesus a bastard child?
Honestly, do you think his society did not?
Where do we go here?
I think Mary escapes to Ein Karem
to avoid being stoned.
Oh hi Elizabeth you’re pregnant too
out of wedlock.
Now can we capture sexual sin?
No he’s king of the world.
It was all a plan:
die on the cross for our sins.
And we’ve made up another story
to grapple with God in man.
Who was Jesus?
A little child born out of wedlock,
and everybody taunted him for it,
and he really suffered.
Is this in the Gospels?
No, it’s logic and common sense.
The people of his day hated adulterers
and bastard children.
Can the pedophile say that today?
Oh my goodness I’ve crossed lines
imaging sexual sin,
and how we use that to hate people.
Can you imagine a God of hate?
I think some people do.
Is that you?
Take Jesus by the hand,
and he will show you love for your neighbor,
even if your neighbor sins.
Compassionate Christ,
how that contradicts your world order.
I can’t imagine Jesus stoning people.
Go to hell you sinner!
You didn’t vote for me!
And that’s the Christ?
How conveniently laid out in your plans
to force the world on your belief.
Thank God there’s God,
the truth of things, you know?
no matter what you believe.
Jesus Christ,
I’ve not counted him exactly.
He gives us roads,
all the way to enlightenment/paradise. [worlds spoken simultaneously]
Our meeting him determines the course.
He’s not a throw away deity.
He gauges sin,
and helps us cross it.
We are loved there.
We bring him deity to us,
can find that Christ in ourselves,
the divine element,
and transfigure this in man.
These are later stages the Gospels know not of.
I think you’re seein’ Jesus,
the Christ in our lives,
spilt by Christianity.
The religion does not capture the man.
It’s legal framework
whereby to tax sin,
a framework of belief
to tail the universe on,
a holier-than-thou
that puts everyone else in hell.
This is the religion for the ages.
This is God’s total store
for man in planetary being alive.
Immensity knows no other look
than this.
What medieval planet have you been hanging out on?
I don’t think Jesus would recognize himself here.
Would you crucify him,
goes the refrain, [above and below lines lyrics from “Would You Crucify Him?”]
if he walked right here among you once again?
Now that’s John Michael Talbot.
He put down his sword
and became a religious man.
What do we do with him today?
Oh John,
you are so faithful to the Lord.
Is that a TV program?
Where is that window you opened
on the truth of Christ?
It’s right here
in the lyrics of this poem.
There’s positive paintings of the way of Christ.
You take the ball and run with it.
The ways of divinity ride here.
What happens if you destroy it,
the value of Christ?
You’re witnessin’ a new reality
if you don’t.
We’re all here in airplanes
evolving Christ.
We’re lookin’ at time.
We need a revolution here on earth.
There’s no way to avoid it
if we want to actually survive.
The unity consciousness,
a consciousness of Christ, hello?
He’s good for heroes.
Yes, he is good for heroes,
and the Gospels leave that out.
This poem was came about as a result of a conversation with a curator of the blog Some View of the World. The link will take you the post of theirs where the conversation took place, quite short on their end, and this is the second poem resulting from that. The other one you can read there.
Harm's End 