You Don’t Have Any Choice

photo by Douglas
That kid sees daddy
God’s will.
That kid never sees daddy again.
His parents are evil saying that.
Evil and horny,
they market this child for themselves.
This is bad business.
They stomp on him every day.
They can’t help themselves.
It’s gleeful.
They like making this boy suffer.
The power surrounds them.
They feel like Gods in his presence.
They get off on his pain.
They know he loves daddy,
and they punish him for it,
every single day.

They are beside themselves with hate—
their child wants to be with daddy,
and they know that.
The terror they put through him
to force him to keep his mouth shut,
or to force him to lie,
is what you do to your child when you’re monsters.
He is so scared of them
he has thoughts they will kill him,
smother him in his sleep
I’ve already told you in another poem.
Can you imagine doing that to your child,
being the terror of his life?

They revel in this,
will not let him up,
and the power they have over God,
it’s where they find themselves stupid.
God does not honor them
or what they do.
How God allows evil
to take us for a ride,
is everywhere apparent.
You saw how long the Nazis rule,
how long Islamic State cut people to pieces.
Then God comes in,
and evil forces are destroyed,
like the Earth itself does it.
You see it happen every day.
Evil gets reckoned with.

Evil gets changed,
can we show you the gist of this story?
Nithish is not here to suffer
so his parents can be punished for it.
They will know what they did,
and their love for their child will show them,
what has been there a measure on the situation,
keeping the beatings to a minimum,
keeping the abuse from killing him.
You know he thought of suicide.
What this boy has done
is shown what child abuse is
when it’s not recognized as abuse,
here in India where you can beat children
and totally and absolutely control their lives,
bend them to your will,
even expect they worship you,
and even adulthood
does not find freedom.

Nithish has gone through this
so you can see this.
They’re not expecting art.
They weren’t expecting mine.
His parents aroused a poet
to defend his boy,
to help his boy,
to save his boy,
the likes of which you’ve never seen, have you?
A power of poetry
that gives God reign,
that let’s Him do His business,
you hear it now.

But we find another poet here,
tender in years,
his parents have tried to murder
because they associate it with me.
I opened up poet in him,
and you’ve heard him sing.
He has the future in his hands,
a poet of prophecy,
and he prophesied this abuse
and his waylay in it.
Read his poetry
this can’t be denied.

Can we come to terms with Nithish?
His future poetry writes
a verse that will finally free children
from being someone’s property,
from having the status of slaves,
not to buy and sell and trade,
but to make them obey
with no say in the matter,
and to make them do their parents’ will
regardless of the cost to the child,
to make it as though the child was born for them,
for the parents’ pleasure,
for the parents’ rule,
to obliterate the fact that a soul came down
on this adventure Earth
to work out its purposes in time.
This slavery we need to see,
and these slaves we need to free.

To abruptly stop his childhood in the slam shut of school,
when he has a learning disability they do not address,
they know but will not admit,
will scar him for the rest of his life.
It’s their thang with him,
and they love it there.
You’re meant to be crisscrossed.
You’ve stolen the boy’s life,
but you cannot see you’re wrong for the trees,
the stupid people who back you up,
the negligent police,
the blatantly ignorant Child Welfare Committee,
and a school that is so backward in education
they let parents abuse their child
and don’t even know what a learning disability is.
They are ridiculously called New Modern
Vidhya Mandir Higher Secondary School,
and they’re not going to stop me
from showing them to the public when all this is over.
They need held accountable for this.
I will see to that.

Interstellar from national backgrounds,
I will show where Earth is wrong in school,
school responsible for the shape we’re in,
and school we need to change.
Academics take a backseat to being human
you colonial legacies
fillin’ the Industrial Revolution’s need.
Antiquated,
outdated,
and on steroids,
it’s destroying our world.
Beavis and Butt-Head
are to help us through kids
to their appointment in time,
to their children now adults later,
to the sting of childhood
making us examine ourselves
in roles as parents and teachers
crammin’ adulthood down their throat,
and they are yet but children.
You very ignorant
and narrow-minded,
corncob stuck up your ass,
uptight bunch of people,
did you hear that?

Good, I’m weighin’ on yah now.
Just wait till that boy regains his pen
you stop shoving school down his throat

and let his poet speak,
his purpose on this God’s green earth
you won’t allow cause you’re dim in the head
and give his parents absolute rights.
Just wait till he gets that pen again.
Just wait.
Nithish will give us the right ideas
to parent children,
and that is his future fate.
That poet is among us now
silenced,
gagged.
You think so?
Let’s wait and see.

Drainin’ the Steel

photo by Douglas
He just wants the people he love to be fair to. (vision of Nithish standing in the forest at a microphone stand and speaking into the mic)
Life is a very changed little boy.
He’s not gonna control.
Will see everything
eight thousand,
which means he doesn’t see it as himself.

You gotta take the phone out of his hands
and let him listen to you.
You got a therapy.
You can help it.
In the interest of therapy
you will go.
Okay then,
a PowerPoint presentation,
you spend the night with me in the phone.

He had just been through a hard time
for any conversation at all with him.
I let him
throw the other people in jail.
A file said that.
Boy’s not gonna go crazy
and do anything rough to his daddy.

Just bury your head and see
now’s not a good time.
I vintage.
We’re tired.
It’s been my dream
to have a mountain visit with daddy.
I can’t get up.

They don’t go.
They don’t leave him out.
They guard him all the time.
It’s impossible to see him
wherever they visit.
I can’t hear a car.

Did you make yourself useful?
Not yet.
See you soon
Nithish.
Goin’ to Kuru you’re not fondu, over?
I don’t think so.
I stay away from that plan.

Why is the son
not supporting seeing me?
What is that? (two visions of ugly, insane pictures of some horrible place)
Hell
my mother makes me imagine,
my mother messages me.
There is a want to see you
gotten in.

Could not believe it,
we are right where we see each other weird,
but I belong
to him.
In a child’s mind three and a half months is a long time
not bein’ with his daddy.
He forgets the report.
He forgets the love and attention.

Christ look ahead.
Don’t overlook your eves.
Does it take all day?
I’m with you so much
right now,
watch your glow.
(vision of Ramya, a young woman I’m a daddy to. She’s looking at me and smiling)
You give everybody kindness.
Give me your love and support.

On Monday the child never woke back.
Come here.
I told him
tomorrow’s thinking about that
does not measure our true love.
Have a good day.
I love you.

Go into the Earth tower,
I have to maintain.
I cannot see Nithish and that kills me.
I watch his moods change from day to day.
I’m inside his consciousness you see.
He toys with me like a rabbit
and then just puts me down and forgets about me for a while.

We achieved union together,
and this is the price I pay for it.
A child does not know your worth.
They only see themselves.
I can’t take this child anymore.
I carry his pain all day.
He just wants to be happy and forget about me.
I’m too much trouble for him right now.

What evil is this
a mother does to her child?
No one questions the mother’s insanity
to forbid any contact whatsoever,
when she herself will admit
I was good to the boy and did not abuse him.

This is killing his character,
but this is India,
and we don’t protect our children,
and we do not know the damage the heart can do
to a child that’s been made to kill his love
for one of his parents.
This boy will not be kind.

I can only sit here and watch it all
and cry.
I so want to help my boy.
I am with him every minute of every day,
and the sleepless nights
just tear me apart,
and it’s all I can do to maintain,
and I must maintain.

Do you consider me?
I’m a value in consciousness,
and the same you hear from me
I opened up in this boy,
but that has been killed too,
and no one seems to mind.

I love you Nithish,
and I will not give up on you,
and I understand your pain
and your need to be a boy.
I am a parent and I can take sacrifice.
I just wish you could see me
as I am
and not in the stench of gaslight
you mother has put you through.

It’s inevitable
that one day you will.
A demon can only hold the field for so long
before the divine forces prevail.
Do you see me Nithish?
I am here,
and I’m not going anywhere.

My Sign

photos by the author

by S. Nithish

1st Part

I am Nithish a growing poet.
I will write for the world and me,
and I will take big steps anywhere, anytime.
I am opening (muse) my marker
a bag with development.
If the bag doesn’t get bigger
I will fly away.

Oh I am high on poetry.
Get me a ride home.
Hey god, how tall are you?
Ha h aha I’m going to my job.

2nd Part

Exchange the world for some divine,
and my marker call the muse.
Will you listen to the paper it’s right.
Why are the poets here for?

The Function of Nithish

photos by the author

A poem by S. Nithish

I have started my journey.
I feel like I wanna be dead.
But why?
Someone have to stop this school before kids die.

I need help please stop these dictators.
Kids need power too if kids to live in this world in peace.
I ask myself God please help me.
Forsake have you?

It takes a power in India.
I let me talk of light/God I to the world.
I will be in heaven
if I am able to be in peace.

I have started my journey.
I am gonna see my old mind,
and I am gonna write till I see no more.
I seen God.
I need way to escape from reality.
Have they heard God or have they saw a kid talk to God?
Well I have a spark of power now.

I am in sea with sea monsters.
His eye was bigger than my head.
I feel ashamed of myself.

Chapter 2

I have started my journey.
Am I really pissed off?
I ask you that or do I ask me that maybe?
I should ask the world.

I shall be born again in my mind.
Please look me in the eye and talk to me.
They shot my head off,
threw me in fire,
stabbed me.

I can only hear the light,
but can you go?
I am stuck as one.
I am three,
but people only see one
and judge me looking at my face.

I tell them judge me after looking in my inner soul.
Are we kids gonna die without living life a little?
I am very strong my muse.
I have to protect the light from another somebody
from stealing it.

I always say goodnight,
sweet dreams,
but who’s there to that for me?
God help I am homeless.
I have opened my pen to write me.

This poem is a prevision of the future. Nithish wrote it from spiritual vision some months before the horrible situation he’s describing happened to him, when he was taken from my home by his mother, where he lived during the week, visiting his parents on the weekends. That is the journey he started. They did bad things to him, but the worst has been what they have done to his heart by doing Nazi-like things to him to kill his love for me and keep him from having contact of any kind with me, although for the first two months he called me in secret telling me of the abuse, and of course we have inner contact in spiritual vision, or I do; this also has been killed in him by his parents in their attempts to kill his love for me. He doesn’t write poetry anymore, no longer hears his muse, or very little.

I need to mention that school for Nithish is the worst thing in the world. He’s been badly abused for his dyslexia in school, both physically and emotionally, and his parents would never allow me to get him tested for the learning disability. But in this poem, school represents where he gets his life lessons, and that takes place at home too. The muse, the inner voice of poetry, uses the symbols that you know, and, if you have some preconceived idea, it won’t override it but use that in the place of what would more represent the truth. That’s going on here with his use of the word school to describe what is going on in his home with his parents.

He was not just split in two, having to have one face to his parents and another to me, but there was the Nithish alone to himself he had to try and honor also, and so when he’s speaking of being three people, not just one, that’s what he’s talking about. Since the source of his abuse came from his parents punishing him for continuing to love me and wanting to see me, not to mention betraying their bedroom sins to me, he became completely silent about me with anyone he didn’t trust, did not even mention my name, let alone say want to see me.

On the phone he told me that he had to do that because they were treating him very badly, like he was poison, because he had caused all this trouble for his family and brought shame on it, and so, he told me, he had put on a fake smile, but he was really sad inside. So he was one person to his family and another to me, and still another to himself. I cannot tell you what this does to a child, especially one that is right this very second beginning the body changes into adolescence. Mental illness of some sort will ensue at some point. If I am unable to bring him home, I believe the boy will become a psychopath like his father, who has murdered four men in cold blood for his gang.

The Spiritual Variable of Nithish

photos by the author

A poem by S. Nithish

I have the flower in my head.
I just want to get it in the light.
Can I just be in my life?
Can I just get my life back?

I am running to the light again.
Pull me up so I can join you.
For next level it’s coming up.

I am crying I need sleep.
They call me poison.
That’s not my name I am Nithish.
Why do you care will show my name to the world
going down the road?

Ha! can you see that coming?
That’s the new world formed.
Pass it can you hear me out?
Let me get back home.
I am very loud if you know—
your smartass come from the divine.

I am blinded from the light.
Is that it that’s the start of the border?
Wanna go beyond?
Let’s go to the spark of soul
that’s a frost fire
running out of school.
Run with me hear the bird.
Run with me for good.

They judge me by any downfall.
Well see my poem from God.
Have you met my birds?
To the surface we can go to New York,
get the jet ski fly away from ground.

If you have been reading these posts of Nithish’s poetry, then you know he’s writing this from spiritual vision, meaning he’s not making it up; it’s spoken into his inner ear and he writes it down. This a poem he wrote while at school some months before he was taken from his home at the lake. In one fell swoop he lost his whole life, me, Douglas, his dogs, his own room, his new computer, the farm, the lake, all of it, and he has not been allowed to return or visit me since, anywhere, call me on the phone, have anyone give him message of me, or view his YouTube channel. Read the last post to see why his parents have done this, and you will suspect, as I do, that they have abuse they are hiding, and they know the boy will tell me if he sees me alone long enough, and they are preventing that.

I don’t think I need to interpret this poem line by line. It’s obvious what he’s talking about, but what’s extraordinary about it, miraculous, is that he wrote this months before the he would be in the situation he’s speaking about, so his future self could read it and understand what is going on. His ‘wokeness’ to his situation comes and goes, more goes than comes actually, if my spiritual vision of him is correct, but I do know from others telling me that he is silent about me and the life that was taken from him, does not even mention me or it. That sure does make me think, and the purpose of his poetry, why he wrote it to his future self, was to make him think, understand what has happened to him, and stand up for himself. I do not understand spiritual process, all this miracle just to go to the garbage can of his mind, be deleted. He has as yet no interest in reading it.

A Poet Speaks

We made this video for Nitish’s YouTube channel: S. Nitish