A heartbroken line.
You just have to write this down.
There is no Earth and Heaven but you.
We glide here on our own devices.
We can’t see the world around us.
It’s blind to us too.
We can’t even see our yard.
There’s a process there.
It’s image on sight.
We have see things to believe in them.
Our fingers have to touch their face.
No other process allowed.
That’s the ring around the rosie for us.
It’s how we live.

It gets us in a lot of trouble.
We can’t always see things.
When people are away from us they’re gone.
We imagine their existence,
and it’s not real to us.
They’re not there.
Now tell me what to do?
Go outside and see things,
and try to transfer sight
to some bigger picture happening before your eyes.
Don’t just see your little world.
It’s gotten big enough
to swallow you whole.
We gotta get outta here.

It eats us alive.
It’s the only thing we know.
Can you see this?
Do you know what I’m talkin’ about?
We are blind before our face.
Our world is the world,
and there is no other
that has the reality of ours.
We can put this in a movie
or a sports field,
or maybe even a good book.
We feel something other than ourselves,
but we’re involved in it.
We’re still the center of the room.
Look at YouTube Shots.
They piece you to pieces,
this show, and that show, and this show,
and you have your favorites.
Where are they taking you?
They don’t know how to time.
They don’t stop.
You are lost there
in the middle of you.

I’m tryin’ to get to some larger whole
none of us see.
We’re divided up in pieces,
your world and my world
and Larry’s world.
Will we put our glasses on and see this?
It really sucks
you know when you lose someone.
Say you had a kid
and you’ve been raisin’ them since they were three.
At 12 you lost them,
and they were just taken from you
for no other reason than just to take,
‘cause you made someone mad.
Devastating.

It was a bubble relationship.
We were the captain of our ship
laughin’ at the world go by
we teammates, best friends,
together all the time.
We were joined,
and the world went by,
and we were so special in it,
so much comfort in each other,
so much love.
And then you lose that boy.
No contact is allowed,
and you watch that boy turn
like he never knew you,
and now he wants you gone.
No, no, I didn’t abuse him.
His parents did.
He was broken whipped and spanked
until he gave his parents what they wanted,
the keys to himself.
They can do that.
They’re Indian parents.
He was broken,
lost his will,
lost himself.
They spanked him,
and he cried and cried,
and I had promised to save him
and couldn’t come.
That anger rides.

What are we left with?
A quaking world.
Death would seem a happy state,
and I almost long to be there.
I want my boy.
I can’t take it.
There is no escape from this pain.
What do you do?
You feel pain.
You don’t know what to do.
There’s no way out.
Months ahead,
the death of a child.
There is no remedy for this.
I’m lost in him,
and oh the jesters of pain,
that kid could care less if he sees me again,
in just two short weeks.

Where do we go?
To death?
We have to do something.
We have to live.
We have to get up and live.
You’ve been fucked by the universe,
abandoned by your Gods.
All soul’s failed,
and you’ve got to find another life,
and you really want the one you had.
You’re stupid you tell yourself,
a fool.
Children are treacherous,
and they only like pleasure and joyrides,
and their heart can be bought with candy and cake,
and they forget you,
even when you were their whole world.

I’m dying in this pain,
and I’m just showing it to you
so you know of the reality of which I speak,
in some little lost world
forgotten from the whole.
To cut him out of my heart is blind.
That boy needs protected,
and he’s in a bad situation.
It’s an abusive situation.
I cannot abandon him.
I must go on
tryin’ to free him,
but the loss is too great to bear.
You see the predicament.

It’s going somewhere.
I am being perfected for him
in parental ways,
as he will need to be healed.
If he returns,
he will be healed
with certain hands.
I’m ready for him.
There is just this need to swallow,
this ever aching need
that he fulfill my life,
be its ornament,
and meet my emotional needs.
How can I get rid of this?
Don’t look at me funny.
You do it too
with children.
We are property lovers with them.

I don’t know how to do this,
and that is my lesson now.
It hurts.
Where do I find you?
In the lesson plan.
I’m reaching out to you
to be a lover with you,
to put down that kid a minute,
and let’s say hey look at this:
we are fragmented world.
Will you do the time with me?
It might be a pickup truck
that takes us all on a ride
to higher skies.
That’s where we think about larger things than ourselves
and the contents and people of our little world.
I’m pushin’ yah there
in my own flagpole
as I do this too.
Will you sing with me?

Will we be together again?
We come from afar.
This is not our home.
We’re on dangerous ground,
where the Void meets Earth.
There are doings here
that have us all undone.
We live out our lives
little people,
totally forgetting
who we are together,
the very next field
above this one,
the supramental field.

I’m ridin’ yah there,
journeying myself.
I don’t want to go.
All my thoughts on little boy
and what’s going on with him right now.
Is he happy is he sad?

Is he missing me?
Would he like to see me again?
Are they hurting him?
This goes deep.

Alright I’ve told you some
about what we don’t talk about:
look there’s a whole;
look there’s together again;
look we are bigger than what we are.
Have I reached out to you?
I can’t see it.
I don’t even know you’re there.
I think that’s a reality kingpin.
I’m alone in here
in front of all of you,
because of my perception.
Can you figure it out?

That is put to the finish.
Hey you got some things growing up there.
Tunnel things
this reality.
It’s trustworthy.
There’s no other way to see it.
We’re not real,
is that how far this goes?
Do you see what I’m gettin’ at?
Where is reality’s footing?
Where do we place ourselves?
In the center of attention?
I think we look higher up.
We look where it happens,
where reality gets arranged,
and we find ourselves there
watching the arrangement.
Isn’t that funny?
Here I am.

Suffer the supramental solution.
Sri Aurobindo
wrote his letters
just sittin’ there.
He didn’t see the disciples,
yet he knew they were there.
He didn’t have to see them.
He had concrete inner contact with them,
and he knew what was goin’ on.
He could see their own selves,
and he knew what they needed.

This was just vision to him.
No, this was the substance of his room.
He grabbed the whole with his own hand.
It was his messenger.
He substance see’d,
knew in relation to the whole,
and he could see without errors.
I cannot do that.
I have strong inner vision.
It doesn’t come
everything’s true
without errors.
It gets a lot of lie,
exaggeration,
and endless possibilities worked out.
I can’t see straight.

You don’t know how much this sucks.
I’m glued to inner vision
now to protect my kid
and bring him back home,
and it’s driving me crazy,
all these scenarios
played out one by one.
He’s been hit with a dog.
He’s been pissed on and raked
over an open fire.
This just kills me,
and I don’t know what to do.
The bad part is over,
when they broke him
to turn him from me.
Now they’re tryin’ to act normal,
and they want him to be happy.

Gaslighting is the order of the day.
What’s a kid to do?
Acquiesce
and be what their parents want them to be,
do what their parents want them to do,
and say what their parents want them to say,
and that’s what he’s doin’.
and I can have no contact,
and not a single person there will tell him of me.
It’s inhuman.
It’s a total blackout
they’ve arranged.
The abusers become his saviors,
and his beloved grandpa a foreign devil
tryin’ to take him from his family.

I was his main parent
from the time he was six.
Six years with me more than his parents,
and they’re gaslighting him
to make me some babysitter
they mistakenly arranged.
Okay public, what to do?
I’ve shown you his card,
a song he wrote himself
when his parents were pullin
and kicking him about school.
This is where he is at.
This is the boy on his own.
Where do we find him?
I hope that’s not the graveyard.
Can you come
and help me find him please?
I really need you,
and this is a live child
waiting for your help.
Can you help?
Oh Puducherry,
you couldn’t Aarthi.

Now there’s hope.
The boy’s alive.
How do I know he’s unsafe?
His father’s a killer for a Lawspet gang
with BJP connections,
but he hasn’t killed in awhile.
Says he’s done with it,
but see the gold on him you’ll know
he’s still involved,
a gold ring on every finger like a pimp.
He could kill that kid
in a jealous fit of rage,
and the mother’s of low character,
and she may not prevent him.
That's where this is headed.
Don't be sorry.
I’m calling on you now,
Puducherry,
rise up and protect that boy
before anything else is done.
Will you help me?
Can you take this boy to safety?
That’s wonderful.
Thank you.

This is the boy’s address in Puducherry, India:

64 Nettu St.
Kurusukuppam,

Puducherry, 605012

The street is only a small alleyway accessible from Advocate Chinnathambi St. Fourth Cross. Go to Le Nid Apartments on Advocate Chinnathambi Street, stand facing the gates and turn right 90 degrees and you will see a little alleyway in front of you. Go down it and it immediately turns left and his house is the first door on the left. There is also an Ave Maria Kebi on the left side of the apartment gates.

Nithish’s school and he’s in 7th standard: New Modern Vidhya Mandir Higher Secondary School, 73/A, Pillayar Koil St, Angalamman Nagar, Muthialpet, Puducherry, 605003

His father lives in Chennai and has a business there and comes to Puducherry on the weekends. Here is his business address:

P. Sundaram
S.S. Air Controls
No. 432 Pachaivalliyamman Illam
29th St. 6th Sector
K.K. Nagar, Chennai 600078

This is the address they spend the weekend at, usually from Saturday evening to Monday morning. It is his father’s parents’ house:

17 Kaman Koil Street,
Ashok Nagar,
Lawspet, Puducherry.