You Don’t Have Any Choice

photo by Douglas
That kid sees daddy
God’s will.
That kid never sees daddy again.
His parents are evil saying that.
Evil and horny,
they market this child for themselves.
This is bad business.
They stomp on him every day.
They can’t help themselves.
It’s gleeful.
They like making this boy suffer.
The power surrounds them.
They feel like Gods in his presence.
They get off on his pain.
They know he loves daddy,
and they punish him for it,
every single day.

They are beside themselves with hate—
their child wants to be with daddy,
and they know that.
The terror they put through him
to force him to keep his mouth shut,
or to force him to lie,
is what you do to your child when you’re monsters.
He is so scared of them
he has thoughts they will kill him,
smother him in his sleep
I’ve already told you in another poem.
Can you imagine doing that to your child,
being the terror of his life?

They revel in this,
will not let him up,
and the power they have over God,
it’s where they find themselves stupid.
God does not honor them
or what they do.
How God allows evil
to take us for a ride,
is everywhere apparent.
You saw how long the Nazis rule,
how long Islamic State cut people to pieces.
Then God comes in,
and evil forces are destroyed,
like the Earth itself does it.
You see it happen every day.
Evil gets reckoned with.

Evil gets changed,
can we show you the gist of this story?
Nithish is not here to suffer
so his parents can be punished for it.
They will know what they did,
and their love for their child will show them,
what has been there a measure on the situation,
keeping the beatings to a minimum,
keeping the abuse from killing him.
You know he thought of suicide.
What this boy has done
is shown what child abuse is
when it’s not recognized as abuse,
here in India where you can beat children
and totally and absolutely control their lives,
bend them to your will,
even expect they worship you,
and even adulthood
does not find freedom.

Nithish has gone through this
so you can see this.
They’re not expecting art.
They weren’t expecting mine.
His parents aroused a poet
to defend his boy,
to help his boy,
to save his boy,
the likes of which you’ve never seen, have you?
A power of poetry
that gives God reign,
that let’s Him do His business,
you hear it now.

But we find another poet here,
tender in years,
his parents have tried to murder
because they associate it with me.
I opened up poet in him,
and you’ve heard him sing.
He has the future in his hands,
a poet of prophecy,
and he prophesied this abuse
and his waylay in it.
Read his poetry
this can’t be denied.

Can we come to terms with Nithish?
His future poetry writes
a verse that will finally free children
from being someone’s property,
from having the status of slaves,
not to buy and sell and trade,
but to make them obey
with no say in the matter,
and to make them do their parents’ will
regardless of the cost to the child,
to make it as though the child was born for them,
for the parents’ pleasure,
for the parents’ rule,
to obliterate the fact that a soul came down
on this adventure Earth
to work out its purposes in time.
This slavery we need to see,
and these slaves we need to free.

To abruptly stop his childhood in the slam shut of school,
when he has a learning disability they do not address,
they know but will not admit,
will scar him for the rest of his life.
It’s their thang with him,
and they love it there.
You’re meant to be crisscrossed.
You’ve stolen the boy’s life,
but you cannot see you’re wrong for the trees,
the stupid people who back you up,
the negligent police,
the blatantly ignorant Child Welfare Committee,
and a school that is so backward in education
they let parents abuse their child
and don’t even know what a learning disability is.
They are ridiculously called New Modern
Vidhya Mandir Higher Secondary School,
and they’re not going to stop me
from showing them to the public when all this is over.
They need held accountable for this.
I will see to that.

Interstellar from national backgrounds,
I will show where Earth is wrong in school,
school responsible for the shape we’re in,
and school we need to change.
Academics take a backseat to being human
you colonial legacies
fillin’ the Industrial Revolution’s need.
Antiquated,
outdated,
and on steroids,
it’s destroying our world.
Beavis and Butt-Head
are to help us through kids
to their appointment in time,
to their children now adults later,
to the sting of childhood
making us examine ourselves
in roles as parents and teachers
crammin’ adulthood down their throat,
and they are yet but children.
You very ignorant
and narrow-minded,
corncob stuck up your ass,
uptight bunch of people,
did you hear that?

Good, I’m weighin’ on yah now.
Just wait till that boy regains his pen
you stop shoving school down his throat

and let his poet speak,
his purpose on this God’s green earth
you won’t allow cause you’re dim in the head
and give his parents absolute rights.
Just wait till he gets that pen again.
Just wait.
Nithish will give us the right ideas
to parent children,
and that is his future fate.
That poet is among us now
silenced,
gagged.
You think so?
Let’s wait and see.

Look at Pearls on the Mountaintop

I’m a bleeding article from your last test,
a hyper-hypotenuse.
I say the line.
It’s a dynamic field.
We don’t get there soon.
We don’t even see it for awhile.
I hate to be the seeding can.
I’m not celebrated in the streets.
I can’t get my name across to change the world,
but I tell you where God’s made,
Mr. and Mrs. People.

God grows distant here.
I am so tired of institutions.
The institutions of marriage and family break our social fabric
in adhesive bonds.
We can’t get away from them.
They test our social fabric
with what can’t be named,
a guttural possessiveness that puts us all in hordes.
We tarry there
eating each other alive.
It’s needed for our ship,
a family of parents that brings kids into the world.
It’s not what we need to survive.
It’s what we need to get rid of
as the managing arm of society,
as our social fabric dies.

We can’t raise kids that way:
listen to me or die.
My life you have made whole by your coming,
and I will rub your nose in it all life long.
You can’t be free from me
where you go against my purpose for your life,
my need you for my own ends.
Society balks at this:
give that child freedom
to manage freedom.
Why must he live his parents’ life?
Why must she be the daughter of their destiny?

Why do we have to do this all the time:
uphold the parents’ rights
to determine the will of their child?
Can you count this
in terms of freedom?
Step back parent
and let your child play outside
no rulers present,
no supervisor gag models.
Alarming this is
on humanity’s plate:
Big Brother rules the child
just in everyday parenting.

The fear of outside unsupervised doors,
sex resides there, doesn’t it?
Your fear of sex rules the show.
Your fear of sex rules everything.
They get scared
of their own front teeth
we put sex trafficking models on them,
a child molester behind every bush.
They don’t know what it means to be normal
with the fear the news media raises.
Add that to their own possessive accounts,
the parent that raise them,
to guard that child at all costs
from perceiving another parent in someone else,
and you just explode at the seams
with a child that can’t reckon itself,
and they will grow up unable to handle society.

A new institution will make the new man.
A small group of people family size
will orchestrate the new human being.
They still visit their families
every damn week,
maintain those close ties,
but any kid that can relate a dream,
old enough to,
becomes part of a dream group
their dream calls them to.
This is a sadhana watch ladies and gentlemen,
and a handful of people call its name.
They are near the child’s home
forming all the time.

It’s what society does now,
spiritual growth.
No clogs in the machine,
children will grow up to change the world.
A spiritualized society
comes about from its own accord.

It rises from the soul in things,
and we almost see glimpses of it now.
No government can put this in place,
nobody that makes steps the criteria to get there,
and no organization makin’ people do it.

I’m a sadhana watch ladies and gentlemen
speaking its piece,
and we’ve lost our youngest member
to parental overreach,
Nithish,
a prototype of the new human being.
His stuff is on the web for you to watch.
His tale is told
in these crawl spaces of his life.
Jealous of the songs he was makin’,
jealous of the music,
his parents made a big mistake.
They tried to take out his soul
in great abusive waves
that tore down his life.
No reason for this
except jealousy.

It’s heartrending.
Their cruelty destroyed him,
and he was left a nervous wreck
scared they would smother him in his sleep.
In such an environment he turned off the new human being.
Betrayed by God,
whom he adored,
he stood helpless facing time
a growing rage against the machine.
Parental rights determined all,
why I’m fighting for his life.
You hear me now, don’t you?

I can’t do it anymore,
just stand by and write poems.
I’m a half today.
The other half is his,
and we make a whole of action.
Finally, inevitably,
we come together on freedom.
Hear us Lord?
It’s Your horse we ride
the day we certainly dare,
the day we certainly keep.

Great Fields Earth

photo by the author
What is the reality of love?
Also whisper.
Facebook items,
the key story
homes.
Nothing else taps it.
I go through generations.
Hear what was going on,
my falsehood—
I will stop him from going into silent night,
silent ground.

But the graces of life
protect me,
and I look over it.
I’m a field study.
I’m an alpha nigger,
higher than perfume.
I get into cars,
laptops and computers,
and go the distance.
I recharge my phone
with the very ground of being.

I am so low I see high.
Humility has me by the balls.
I come upon sudden mastery.
I’m not about to endanger your skies,
and I have the formula for world change.
We can’t brag about it.
It’s hard on all of us.
I just sit here and die in my tin can,
and then all of a sudden I’m walkin’ the moon to its orbit.
I have the sun in my eyes,
and I don’t blink.

I know the power of the world.
I am sure God’s there.
I see Him on His rounds.
I am commensurate with that
on the top of myself at dawn.
Nowhere in my being reaches that
but there.
It’s a knowledge I breathe
that I can’t get out of,
and I’m a little man doing little things
as the day wears on.
I don’t pride there.

I’m never alone.
My inside is full of deity.
You better be careful.
I’m on the standin’ line of deity watchin’ the world,
because I know They’re there.
We need to open up and see this in each other.
We are both stations of God,
you and me reader.
I die there sometimes
the knowledge is so heavy, immense.
I just stand and take it
and come back to joy before long.

I know the knowledge that made the worlds,
and it tears me apart,
because the power does not come to me
to change one single goddamn mind,
to reach out and be seen,
heard,
to bring my child out of trouble,
to even know the wind of the day.
I am a barrel of monkeys
to what it takes to perk up the world,
and I have seen the world
from God’s eyes,
in a station beyond the universe
right here intimate with man,
a few glory-filled seconds,
long enough to know the origin of all my lives,
long enough to know that I am He,
long enough to look up and see more.

You would not know what I’m talking about.
It’s bigger than size and measure.
It’s what the worlds was made.
I can’t get away from that vision now.
Oh how we but little grasp our day,
little doings we try to put in big pots,
but I know the pot you see.
Can I study you the stars?
They are wonderful in magic,
are the Heavens we adore,
but they do not bring us to God,
and it’s God on Earth wore.

Can I tell you about history?
Knock, knock,
God is entering every room on the planet
to happen here.
This is inevitability rides the sun,
and the years are carrying us there,
one by one,
evolution’s minutes wrote.
Are you startled to see this?
This is not a junk call.
This is the hypotenuse of time,
and high and lonely seers,
we grasp this with our hands
and spill the beans to you.

Are you sure you’re puttin’ me on hold?
I have more to tell.
I’m gettin’ down to bare bones now.
I’m showing you creation’s ways,
and I can see the world arise
right in front of me.
Awesome, ain’t it?

What do we do with it?
We put it in its place.
We don’t let it get away from us.
We know that every day can
work out the formula of impossibility
and solve it.
I’m referrin’ to us,
where we love each other and why,
and how do we make that love true?
It’s the danger of the years,
love’s high gamble
in the face of certain death.
We lose each other you see,
and that just kills us.
We hold our loved ones we hold death.
How’s that for a keeper?

What brings the salvation
before we cross that gap between love and death?
A spiritual consciousness
that’s bigger than us,
and I’m sorry there’s no other remedy.
Love hurts.
Enlightenment’s wings
unheed pain,
and we do not suffer the pain of loss.

I’m there you see,
in loss looking at the spiritual consciousness.
I’ve put it on a time or two,
short flashes
that tell me know it’s there.
It’s surety that rings it,
sooner or later.

Now laugh at me, slap me, ignore me;
I’m on ground-field Earth
liftin’ up the sky.
Shoot me;
I’m a real thing,
a genuine who done it,
made the grass match the stars.
Roll the planet down,
and I’ll ride it like a speaker.
Yah hear me kids?

This is what’s going on,
and God opens His eyes.
Tryin’ to interview Pitch Thought about his character,
you gotta draw the line somewhere.
Ode to the line,
a good friend to you,
I think your security blanket,
and I’m a top down answer.

I had a momentary experience.
It’s all written.
I had a visionary experience
of every local thing on Earth
realizin’ dream
to catch up with God,
and you had just told me look bread.
Oh, I didn’t realize it was me.
Anyway,
look bread.

Heaven and Hell

The latest video on Nithish’s YouTube channel

Video description: Nithish wrote this song in school after finally being able to spend a significant amount of time with me after six months of not seeing me. It came all at once, sung to him line by line by the inner voice. It was sung to the tune of “Daylight” by David Kushner, and I did the best I could to make it sound like that song when I took the wrapper he wrote it on and put it to my guitar. I was able to consult with him during that process.

Losing a child in circumstances where the child also loses you his parent sets up heartbreak on a level of suffering that is simply hell, for the parent and the kid, because your kid isn’t dead; your daddy isn’t dead. Both are in easy seeing distance but cannot even talk on the phone or message each other, and that is a knife that does not stop stabbing as time goes on. As long as that kid’s a kid, and even after, and as long as that daddy’s a daddy, hope assails you in the same place as despair, and all the bad voices are saying bye, all the good voices are saying hi. Now you can hear the song. He loves his daddy.

Prayin’ for the Hour of God

This poem was posted on the private Facebook group Auroville International. If you have been following recent posts on this blog, I’ve chronicled how they’ve declined everything I’ve tried to post on that Facebook group, totaling nine posts. Now, do I erase all I’ve chronicled? No, I think this might be valuable to show what it means to be heard.

Many a short to a poem.
They won’t do definition.
They get Auroville
working
in its nitty-gritty.
I’m a mountain boat.
We’ve gotta come up with a freeway
to blanket taxes.
Are you on the hate side of reason?
Does anybody get your goat?
Would you like to see them punished?

I’m a round about can.
You’re supposed to do this in your underwear.
I’ll let them know
they have my vote today,
and I will drop all punishment lists
and let them be there,
on the star of human unity,
and I will include them in the new human being.
How can I ensure all this happens?
I don’t require of them anything.
I am just kind to them,
whatever they’ve done,
whoever they are.

If it’s really close to home,
some dirt they’ve done,
my gee that hurt
I will tell them,
but I’m not going to hate you in this conversation.
I’m going to battle you with love.
It’s my duty as an Aurovillian.
Can’t you see the problem?
Human unity cannot hate.
It cannot exclude anyone
from its acceptance speech,
meaning you ignore no one,
and all get your goodwill.
Are we right on that?

That’s the holistic speaker.
That’s how we bring human unity into the room
and not just talk about it.
You with me kids?
I didn’t think so.
I’m just teachin’ yah how to be human,
and you refuse me.
Are you still a mountain to my molehill?

Unconscious everybody
take the city apart.
It can’t stand from within.
A foreign body of law
then comes in
and lords it over all of yah.
Let’s get the goats out of the shed.
She’s not gonna happen
you have no more scapegoats.
That’s a big horse you’re ridin’ Auroville,
and you’ve achieved human unity.

What else is it but including everyone
in the worth you give human being?
You don’t have to take them to lunch.
You don’t have to tie their shoe.
You give them the time of day
like you mean it.
There’s nobody that gets excluded from this.
Alright Aurovillian,
measure up.

Now look behind you.
I’m on your report card.
I open to you
a scientific altar ego,
the scapegoat of the day
where sexual sin meets the railroad tracks.
Nailed on the Cross to suffer with Jesus I said
this isn’t working.
I can’t author you along.
I can’t show you art.
I can’t startle you with spiritual experience.
World experience doesn’t impress you
or the quality of my education
Classical Greek and all that.
Even that I’m a kind human being
that cleans his own house
and makes buttered bread for yah
doesn’t move your feet.
Tada!
It’s a miracle
my boy back this evenin’,
and it wasn’t supposed to happen in a million years.
That made me human to you.

Okay let’s go.
We got so many who just need good faith
to add to their humanity to make it work,
or at least put try on the table.
Come on let’s go brother,
and let’s get goin’ sister.
Made you human enough to look
center stage,
and that’s where we need to be blessed,
oh people of Auroville.

That was an impossibility
you threw away my opportunity
that boy’s comin’ home.
We’re going to do some work
in other children’s bedrooms,
and I’m just going one, one, one.
Silly boys, eight girls,
this tie your shoe.
In the nominal,
in the history of God,
where will we hunch those things?
I want you to lay down,
and we’re gonna move through dream to spiritual experience.
That’s my forte with kids,
and I know how to do it,
and I love it there.
Not the shoes.
A little open-minded—
if I don’t touch a worry root,
okay?
Now let’s get God manifested on this Earth.

photos by the author

I Put Money in That Stupid Phone

I don’t think it was specifically because of this poem, but Auroville International posted a poem of mine in their private Facebook group some days after I posted this poem to Facebook and here. I think it had to do with the quality of the poem they did post, maybe not in terms of poetic merit, but in terms of being sincere to the goal of Auroville International, which they seem to be. That poem is called “Prayin’ for the Hour of God” posted on this blog a few days after I posted this one.

photo by Nithish
Not one star
Auroville International.
These are the streets
humanity is lost.
Wow,
could you say the Mother’s will is here?
Fuck this assistant,
is that what you say?
I give my critique to the Sun.
A poet’s basin it hears,
and that’s how I write this poem.
I’m a rose for my little boy,
and I’m fighting for him here,
S. Nithish.
We make music together.
Hear it?

Stop quivering old D,
your fingers will look like the attention,
and they are.
Alright rebel,
steal the show.
I have my own blog to put it on,
to make sure I can be heard.
I guess you don’t have anything to worry about,
and I’ve just processed you with the snake.
Auroville International,
here I leave my calling card
you hateful organization hellbent on revenge,
and that’s where we find your attention.

We’re all completely naked.
All of you
need to get off your thin horses and see this:
that boy needs Donny.
I feel like a fundamental character.
I feel like a plot.
These are ice to snow more shoes.
We’re both realizing we’re here.
Our mastermind
sets people free.
That’s the long and short of it.
Now terrible channels go home.
I’m about to go on the other side of the wall.
You will see me there promptly.
Then you can count grab ass and green cards,
you holier than thou bunch of people,
you people Auroville don’t need.

Just look at the character you endow with.
You come upon the scene with the hatred of the machine,
and you throw people away.
Self-sacrifice to help your brother,
go out on a limb to speak to him,
you can’t find that in yah,
because you’ve agreed among yourselves to hate
and rob people of their right to exist
and banish them from the land,
and not even eternity
can redeem them,
oh you Christian bunch of people
where your bones meet the land.

Stark naked I am
in front of your mow me down,
and I ride vulnerable and sweet
to your execution
where you ban art.
I ride healing
in the midst of your hate,
and I’m here to stay.
Are you gonna shoot me?
There is no love in your ice machine,
and that is pitiful and strange
because you are the consideration of a city
that seeks to grow new men and women
who want to radically change the Earth
into a paradise of brotherly love and hope
that dares bring God into our human flesh
and divinize the land.

You are that change,
oh you normal people
putting hate where God grows.
Old system be gone,
old ways,
that punishes you
an infantry of hate and ill will
that has no means to grow
the integration of society
in healing’s ways.
You destroy that
too selfish and a pain
to the officer of love.

See this and change
or lose your raison d’être with us,
the people on the groundwork of human unity,
harvesting it into the hands of the city
to realize this on Earth.
Now take my sin and look at it again
in light of the art I’ve given you.
It’s the end of harm isn’t it?
Paid for by penance
and long years of learning
the pain that I have caused.
Can you grasp that?
Goodbye.
Auroville International will you answer your position?

A Great Big Feelings Test

This is a photo-poem from my Twitter/X account, and there are years of them there. This one was posted December 11, 2020. It came in vision the other night to post it here.