by S. Nithish

I’m a soul warrior defeated.
I’m immortal but can’t heal,
shot by arrows of betrayal
on the top of the lonely mountain.
The wounds are deep and cold.
Wind burns my wounds
and waiting till the cold nights stop.

What do I do?
Do I build a house on top of the mountain,
or do I find a cave?
I hate myself feels like I’m the evil spirit.
The ocean is my tears.
The pain is my curse
breaking the wall of sanity and peeking through it.

I once heard that I’ll be the one giving the world peace.
I can’t even give peace to myself.
And that I’ll find eternal peace.
I’ll give freedom to the world.
I need someone to set me free,
and the voices that do whisper to me
is that there is peace in heaven
that’s not in store for me yet.

If I give up now I give up faith in God.
This life will be a burden.
I’ll have nothing to lose,
no strings, fall for eternity into the abyss.

Now I can see how evil people are forged,
and those evil people proved that their parents
won the game and have accepted the curse.

This moment I make a promise to myself
on 30/7/25, 7:30,
that I kneel down before no one,
and that this is my game, my controller.
I’ll make it clear as your eye,
and I write my own story in my own brand.

Nithish, a 13-year-old Tamil boy, wrote this poem. This blog has chronicled his plight for over a year now. He’s recently begun writing poems again. To view his previous work, what he wrote before his ordeal began, click on the Page Nithish’s Blog on the top of this post. The difference is writing about the coming night and being in that night.

I, or my muse rather, has written to him this response, and it’s being smuggled to him now:

And the word crashes with God.
What's the name of the monster?
It's not yourself.
Do the relationship as I do.
Don't banish God to the outer ocean.
God is bigger than your pen,
than your thoughts of him.
Alright baby,
look into yourself and say,
"I want to be the biggest truth I am.
I want to feel this truth inside me
startling my days.
No problem
this truth slips out of my hands.
I will pick it up again.
It is not darkness."